When I first met my LTR, we both agreed on the fact that marriage was a useless, decaying institution. Over the course of speaking to her, we would talk about kids / the future (all hyperbole - I find it entertaining and don’t take it to heart).
Out of nowhere, she mentions that she would want to get married and declare her loving commitment to me and celebrate the love we would share. She also mentioned that it would be easier to communicate to others what we are when we have children…
Where did this come from so suddenly? I know the female imperative is to lock down the highest possible mate, but she’s in her early/mid 20’s and still ways off from the wall. What else could be driving this?
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
she may be worried about you leaving,etc
She may be upset her GF's are getting married and she's not
She may have decided she wants kids sooner rather than later and people are giving her advice, to get (security), get married first.
doesn't matter really.
She changed the agreement. She's communicated now that she wants to get married and be (committed) legally.
Choose wisely
ChadifiedAsian 3y ago
Thanks, bro. She’s a nice girl, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m not getting married; take it or leave it.
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
In the US, I think only 5 or 6 states remain that have common law, it's quickly going away.
But, that said. Splitting can be an absolute nightmare as I'm sure you know. Guys who are co-signing rental agreement, mortgages,etc. Crazy.
I'm old, I'm in a LTR. I sold my house and invested it. I live in her house, pay her a low rent amount. We don't make house purchases together, she buys it/owns it.
If I want to split, I move. simple
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liftheavystuff 3y ago
Common law is very limited.
Also, moving in together is a great way to have the pussy dry up.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
Anything that "can" go to court, evade at all cost.
It's quite possible pussy dust can occur.
and if it does, I simply move out. In the meantime, I keep fit, I make money, I do what I want and I have options.
liftheavystuff 3y ago
An alarm is going off in your head, and it's for good reason.
Do NOT legally marry her. Ask yourself what the benefits are to YOU.
ChadifiedAsian 3y ago
Doesn’t even cross my mind. There are no benefits to me. I only move when I see what I get out of something.
SeasonedRP 2 3y ago
Societal influences and pressure from friends/family.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
She forgot to mention that her vows are only good until she changes her mind and she won't honor them.
ChadifiedAsian 3y ago
You’re not wrong lmaoo
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quietus 3y ago
i agree its not really fair to her if she really wants to start a family
ChadifiedAsian 3y ago
The thing is - I want kids. I can see a future with her as well. But we can do everything a married couple would do, minus the legal commitment. What’s wrong w that?
Adeptintact1 3y ago
To me there isn't really a difference to having kids in a marriage vs not being married. If you're not married and you break up, you're on the hook for child support anyway.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
what's your financial position and hers? Also extrapolate into the future 10 years and will it be different?
If you have kids together, is she expecting to be a SAHM? So, you want to be the sole income during those kid raising years?
Kids can be great Kids are expensive Kids are the biggest change to your life there is.
Ask yourself, what changed her mind? Or was she lying to herself and you the whole time?
r3z01v 3y ago
Maybe she talked to her girl friends after a day you were sweet, maybe she wants to shut up her mom, maybe she found your tax returns.
Why do you care? Does is genuinely affect your decision and your wants why she started wanting it? Let's say her mom said she is dying and wants to see her happy with a husband and child before she goes.... WOULD YOU MARRY HER? Would you make a life changing decision under the best of emotional blackmails? Fuck no. Stop that hamster right now and keep a focus on the facts.