I feel that in the past couple months, I haven't been able to recapture the mojo I had previously. For starters, I'm a mid twenties male making good money and living in a trendy part of town. Previously, I used to be able to close without worry. Body count is near 30, and most of them were 8+. I felt that I always just knew what to say. Even after graduating, although I lived in an area with limited potential, I was still able to have success, albeit at a lower level.
For physical reasons, I was out of "the game" for about a year. No going out, not too many social functions. Now I'm back, healthy, and living in a big city, but I'm not able to close anything. Objectively speaking, I'm a good looking guy. I'm not afraid of the actual approaching, per say; I always go up to women every time I'm out. So the issue lies with keeping things interesting after the first couple minutes. I get numbers, but after that, I'm missing the move that takes it to the next level.
I'd like honest advice on how to get over this "hump". And don't give me that MGTOW "fuck women, hire a hooker" shit; I'm looking for honest answers on how to simply close. Information that could get me back in my lane is appreciated.
paul_ernst 4y ago
I'd say you're over analysing it. If you've been out for a while, go out on the street and get a good number of approaches in there (100-200), generate some leads, and get feedback on actual data. If your energy is not good during the approach (just too boring, too nice), you may get numbers but higher flake rate. But again, approaching more is the only cure here. Approach until you're free to spice it up, to be playful and show intent... I can recommend to find some material of Tom Torero online (books like Street Hustle or his podcast). If you say it's difficult to keep things interesting after the first few minutes, you're stuck in what Tom would call 'comfort quicksand'. It's typical nice guy behavior. Approach more, lean into your edge, spot your own bullshit, and you'll actually find more interesting girls along the way who finally meet a guy not afraid to be sexual in a charming way.
[deleted] 4y ago
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shootinglikekobe 4y ago
No, I work out consistently. Objectively speaking, many women think I look attractive as well. Don't usually get curved upon first approaching.
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
I have a feeling you're being too outcome dependent. Your actions have to end up with you closing the deal and getting laid. Even though that's usually the end goal, betting too much on it affects you in subtle ways and can make you act too thirsty/ needy/ impatient, or just get you overthinking about stuff that should not even matter.
When I had my best results was when I did not give a shit, go out with girls because I'm free and why not. Enjoy the day with them, leave them be for weeks or months to hang with other prospects, then most of them would reach out to date again. If they don't, that's fine. It's a numbers game at the end of the day
shootinglikekobe 4y ago
Appreciate it, that's a positive perspective. I've consciously noticed myself overfocused on women many times; think I should just focus on the moment rather than trying to bring home a woman. I'll take that into mind.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
I agree with him. A dry spell has this effect of amplifying neediness, like a vicious circle where you spiral further away from your best mental state if you're not aware of this and able to consciously change it.
You're not really in any rush. You know you have value and it's just a matter of time.
When it comes to your sticking point; keeping things interesting doesnt have to be a responsibility you put on yourself. You're a high value guy. Pausing to see if she has a brain and is willing to use it is fine.
As I've gotten better at game one of the things I've realised is how quickly you can actually close, as long as the dynamic is right (you're sexual). Try escalating and closing faster. Experiment.