I've been trying to cold approach for years but I've found it nigh impossible - instead I've found it much easier to go up to girls (or just anyone) to warm myself up first and get into the habit of talking to strangers. My favourite is asking people for the time, explaining my phone has died (this gives them a hook to make a comment if they want). The problem is I'm spending a lot of time on the train, and with clocks everywhere it's not so viable - I can't think of much else except asking for directions. I know people will say 'just strike up a conversation' but I need a sort of a plausible deniability to make it easier.
I remember seeing a program once that was like 150 days of approaches, with the first 10-20 being stuff like this. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Otherwise, what are some good excuses just to go up to girls and ask them something or strike up a conversation - especially in the context of public transport?
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
amazonri 3y ago
Get a social job on the weekends. To work on social skills. Doesnt mean bar job or anything. Can be server, cashier, preferably with a good crowd.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
This is London street game. You're making the #1 beginner mistake: interviewing people. Here's how to do it right: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIWBVZ9GJWw&t=1s
SeasonedRP 2 3y ago
Make a sarcastic observation about something or someone in your shared surroundings.
Hanscheezburger 3y ago
compliments work well
koedeloe123 3y ago
Talk about your surroundings. Last year, I was walking around on a summer day. There was a group of 30 girls doing yoga outside, and I saw some old dude straight up staring at them. I passed by him, smiled and said 'Great view here'. He laughed and we talked a bit.
Even when asking for directions. I've had many times during night game when I was asking for directions, turns out she was going to the same bar and talked on the way there. Or at a bar, if a girl is drinking something special, ask her what she's drinking, that you want to try it out.
Don't talk to just girls, talk to anyone. Old, young, male, female, ... The key aspect is to get in a social mood. Every Saturday I would start my day by going to the same bakery. I always flirted with the girl who worked there to get myself in a social mood for that day. Last time she said "You always seem so happy, I love it". Told her "Must be because of the cute coworkers here". She laughed and my day was good to go.
ReGue 3y ago
Thanks for that, I'll save it
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
You don't need an excuse to talk to people.
Time/Phone /Directions is a bit lame, but ok.
No, you don't.
But you do need something to talk about.
Well, don't "go up to them"..... too threatening and obvious and difficult.
Be near them, don't face them directly, turn head towards them, and say "hey....." (loud enough for them to hear) and then start talking.
You can't ask questions of strangers: that's kinda rude.
But you can talk about the situation. If anything out of the ordinary happens, that's a way in.
Also, you can talk about other people...... "hey there..... " [wait for her to look at you] ...... "Are you with that guy over there?" (glance at the weirdo).
Also..... "I like your necklace"..... it's flattering, fun, but hard to follow up on.
Opinion openers can work too, ie ask their opinion about something weird (must not have an obvious answer)
The trick with this stuff is to do it quickly....... soon after you or she sits down or gets into proximity. Waiting 30 mins and then speaking to her spontaneously feels fucking weird.
ReGue 3y ago
Thanks for that detailed response mate, its great
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
hope it helps!