Mid 30s guy with mid 6-figure income. One child. Discovered my wife was having an affair and promptly kicked her to the streets. Minimal financial damage: no alimony, no child support. A speed bump financially, moreso emotionally. Afterwards went on a mild tear, banged a handful of chicks, short flings. Was always in decent shape, but committed myself to lifting and more intense cardiovascular workouts.
Anyway, fast forward a few months and I run into a girl who fits my type almost perfectly. Petite, seemingly sweet, ethnicity that I like. The sex is great and I quickly develop oneitis. I go into full beta mode: communicating way too much, being too available, cooking, etc. Lasts a couple months, but she ultimately drifts away due to my beta bullshit, which leaves another scar emotionally.
HOWEVER, this is the turning point that leads me to the red pill. Specifically, further self improvement and knowing how to conduct myself with women better.
Looking back on this "relationship," it was then clear to me that she possessed multiple flags that would have resulted in disaster if we were in a committed LTR, or god forbid a marriage:
-Father not around much during childhood -Multiple tattoos -Male best friend -Complete financial dependence on employer with small income -Fake news gluten / dairy "allergies" -Self proclaimed fear of commitment / propensity for open and casual relationships -Marijuana abuse -Wants "equal partnership" (LOL) -Severe aversion to cuddling after sex, despite multiple orgasms and even tearing up during sex (which was bizarre)
Actually quite text book RP when you look at it. Although would have been nice to keep her as a plate, it would never have worked out for something more serious.
Lesson: As long as you don't commit some fatal error (pregnancy, STD, marriage, etc) you can learn from these situations and improve.
Current LTR of about ten months is 10 years younger than me, very submissive, great sex whenever I want, folds laundry, cooks, bakes, accepting of me not wanting legal marriage, minimal red flags etc. Loves my application of RP principles: dominance, leadership, etc. I will say you DO have to mix about 20% beta into these situations to make it work. I'm aware it can all go south at any time, but it's good for now.
Men: it gets better with age. As you get older, have money, get in good shape, your choices improve vastly. Soon you'll be able to turn down lots of these girls. I was in lots of situations where I could have gotten sex but was like meh I'll pass as they didn't meet my qualifications.
pfeilmacher 4y ago
You're learning and improving. This is 95% of RP right here. Good job.
nfc66 4y ago
I have 2 questions:
a) How tall are you? b) How much of your hair are you actively losing and have lost in the past few years?
I already know the answer but just in case
liftheavystuff 4y ago
5'10" ish
Full head of hair
nfc66 4y ago
Yeah. If you were balding I am sure you wouldn't be making claims such as it gets better with age
liftheavystuff 4y ago
I mean you can make excuses or make it work. I know plenty of bald dudes having success with women. I have two "red flags" from the female perspective - divorce and having a child - and it's been of minimal consequence for me. There will always be women who automatically disqualify you for x or y, but who cares? There's so many more out there. Also, if it's that much of a problem for you, there's surgical procedures that can correct it.
nfc66 4y ago
I am simply making a point against the very common claim that for guys it gets better as they get older. Considering how fast looks can fade for a guy in his early 30s that has "the balding gene" and how many guys are affected by it on average the claim is shaky at best
Sure, you can still get laid but the pool of high value (young and attractive) females you can attract shrinks considerably
Hair transplant no proper surgeon will do it unless you're on finasteride which, depending on your response to it which is dictated primarily by genetics, is not an option for everyone (never mind the cost)
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
This shit is so old. Shave your head and stop worrying about it. Jesus
liftheavystuff 4y ago
Again, you can either make excuses or make it work. Shave head or hair transplant. If it's expensive, then save up. If you have other parts of your life in order (money, physique, not a weirdo) it's pretty easy. Yes, if you make mid 5 figures, it's going to be harder for you.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
I bet your ex-wife hit The Wall and you were the best she could get so now she's riding the CC being pumped and dumped.
liftheavystuff 4y ago
She actually got a new beta to move in with her almost immediately. I traded in for the 10 year younger model tho.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Haha. Black widow.
[deleted] 4y ago
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liftheavystuff 4y ago
Not a ton of dating experience in 20s as met exwife at young age
Howdoiverify 4y ago
I was in LTR for 4 years from mid 20's to 30's. She wanted marriage and kids, but I was kinda afraid and I didn't think that I want her to be the mother of my children tbh. Anyway we broke up tried to fix it a few times, hell we even broke up before she wanted children. She says things would be different if we had kids, but boi I sure dodged a bullet here, seeing her mother. Her father abusive alcoholic, her brothers father just lost frame and let himself go starting to get lazy and she dumped him, 1-2 other guys and now 34 old guy, that is also divorced and she went trough hell of a gymnastics to break up with him but at the end they are still together.
My ex got into a relationship with some 38 y/o pathetic guy, skinny, eyes crossed, loves to drink, the type of I met someone and I post pictures of lions cuddling together. 1 month after we broke up, shit they were hooking up together long time ago probably, but tbh I don't care. At this point she just showed me that she is like her mother, even if we had kids she would probably leave or cheat on me.
I sure learned one hell of a lesson, but I'm glad that I learned it, I had to even if it was the hard way. Now I also don't have alot of dating experience, hell even approach experience since I wasn't in the market for too long, but I'm looking forward to it. Strongly agree things will get better with time.