Ignore her for a while. Interacting with her will make it worse.

This is classic. She's being a dick and ends up playing the victim.

You're acting insecure and needy, offering up frame to her.

I asked her if we were still on for this thing she'd invited me to

This kinda behaviour is just gonna make her second guess you. Get back to leading her and not the other way around.

Start by fixing your life.

Don't rave that hard until you know for sure you are an attractive motherfucker.

It has become natural.

You being distant is attractive btw.

If she's an ltr, she wants comfort.

Something like " it has nothing to do with you. I just need some time" will help.

"I'm a fucking idiot. What does that make you?" Say that with a playful tone then peck her.

Later In the day, tell her you didn't like how she addressed you and she should look for better names like babe.

Your distance, to her, is dread.

But matters to her might go beyond that because she wanted to show you off.

Have you ever heard of drunk captaining?

That's what you did.

You should have gotten your life in order when you heard she was going to see her family.

I cannot emphasize the importance of reputation to girls. You ruined it for her.

In as much as you should do things for you, the value you provided to her was no more at the time she needed it to be.

This is both a good and a bad thing.

A good thing when it comes to her knowing you are unpredictable. A bad thing for a long term strategy.

You need to take an initiative. But not so fast.

Maybe next month tell her something like:

" Let's go back to your parent's place. I liked it"

She will give you shit.

You'll have to be ready for it.

"OK. Seems you don't want it. It's cool. Put on your shoes. Let's grab a drink at [whatever place]"

Game her, fuck her.

Go distant.

Then bring the topic up again after two months.

"I saw your parents do this thing. I'd like to learn more about this"

I don't think she'll give you shit on this.

After you make a good reputation with her family, now stop drunk captaining.

I'd almost beg you for your own sake to stop drunk captaining.

Fucking stop drunk captaining.

You are a leader. At least in the relationship.

Don't repeat that.

Instead, what I've done is hang out with her as we'd already made plans to go see some of her family and it's caused all sorts of problems because of my low mood and withdrawnness. She kept teasing me about being moody and I'd just agree & amplify but I think the issue was that it went on for several days.

Yeah, this isn't good.

I started to feel better and more normal but last night we got into a weird argument - she called me a 'fucking idiot' for making myself feel this rough this week. I was a bit taken aback as she's never said something like that. I said that's out of order and double standards as she doesn't like it when I've said rude things to her as a joke.

This shows terrible character on her part. Insulting and attacking you for feeling down make her NOT A LTR. It's normal in women, they attack weakness, but this is unacceptable in a LTR. Demote to FWB and fuck other women.

. I stupidly was upfront about it and brought up how I still think she was out of order with what she said. Predictably it just made things worse and she suddenly went really cold and got out of bed and stormed off to get ready for work.

You're right to bring it up, but you should do it an a "this is not acceptable, do not do that" way.

She just said "Yeah but you don't have to come if you don't want to". I replied "Why wouldn't I want to come?" and she just said "I don't know..." and then burst into tears.

At this point she's afraid of more bad mood from you and thinks you want out of the relationship (passive aggression is how women end relationships, so she assumes you do too).

Now I feel really stupid and not really sure what to make of this? Advice please?

You've displayed weakness and bad mood on a consistent basis. And she didn't cause it.

Insulting you for this is out of order on her part.

For your part: you should avoid women when you feel down (creates scarcity). Women are not supportive or nurturing of men they are attracted to: a woman's support is reserved for children and family, if you don't want to be her brother then don't ask or need any support from her.

Conversely......showing this kind of weakness is a great way to prove she is unsuitable for a mutually supportive LTR, so you now have that information.

But if you want a woman to be attracted, you must never display this sort of weakness.

As someone who had been to lots of raves and experimented with drugs. You NEED to take time to yourself and get better, dont spend time with her, take a week off or something. It will help both of yous. She just being a women and wants you to appreciate her and be fun like you were before

A woman crying is her last defense, the last resistance, show some comfort for your LTR

You lost frame. Better get it back quick. Growing is right about drunk captaining. Be dominant and do it fast or this will be over soon.