I have always been conflicted on this. Girls are attracted to aloof Chads. Ones who dont text back or communicate and leave them on edge about the relationship. Ones who take what they want in sex. And then in BDSM, you have the Dominant who is constantly checking on her emotional state, asking for consent for bondage, communicating throughout the week between sessions. In the BDSM community its considered serious abuse to "abandon" a submissive and ghost them.
If you werent in BDSM and you did what the dominant does, you would be labeled needy and unattractive by a woman, constantly checking on her, asking for consent, not abandoning her.
I am currently more along the Aloof Chad, naturally, and have started dipping into BDSM with a few plates. The thing is that i realize so much confliction with what is considered redpill and have trouble distinguishing between redpill law and exception(s).
*For example i had a play session with a submissive plate recently, and the normal protocol is to text them the same night or day after to check in with them (aftercare). But the redpill me is used to not hitting them up and giving them validation, because it dries girls up when they know you will 100% call them next week. If i dont hit her up the next day, it can be considered a yellow/red flag as a "bad" dominant. If i hit her up i can dry her panties as well with so much reassurance. This is just one example. **
At the same time i realize that BDSM is super alpha, its the epitome of dominance. You can dominate a woman 99% more than the dominant criminal man she meets at the gas station that gives her tingles. And i realize that it is truly the best way to alpha widow a woman sexually.
I would like know what you guys think about this, and any advice you can give to clear confusion.
SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
Heres example #2:
I handcuffed a plate the other night with a blindfold. Normally i spank, choke, slap, pull hair, pound them as long as they give me enthusiastic feedback via body language. Once you are established as that type of guy in the bedroom in their eyes, you can continue to push the limits.
But with the handcuffs and blindfold, i felt awkward asking "are you OK with this?" as i put the blindfold on. "You like these baby?" as i started cuffing her hands behind her back. She enthusiastically consented, and this is textbook bdsm, you are supposed to ask. But this goes against the "dominant male who takes what he wants and ravages me" fantasy that girls have, and its well-known that the beta who asks "is this ok if i spank you?" is labeled a complete beta male in the bedroom. What is it about bondage/sex toys that crosses that line where you need to ask for consent..?
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coolsocks00 1 4y ago
How do you not know anything about this. Lol
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SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
Damn sounds like its bluepilled. I mean, its just about on every online bdsm community, or forum. So i thought it was normal etiquette
Nah its just a normal plate. I normally ravage her. But the other day after we fucked i told her i had a suprise for her. I told her close her eyes and i put a blindfold on her and she got super giddy. I said "do you like it?" She said yeah and then i said "one more" and handcuffed her. Asked her again, and she got super excited.
Ugh. I probably made her cringe with the consent, i just did some research in bdsm communities and thought this was the protocol. She seemed like she really liked it. After we talked about it and she wanted to try all my other toys next time: whip, ankle cuff, gagball, collar/leash etc.
So next time she comes over i wont ask. Just gonna put them on and make her a slave basically.
SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
https://archive.is/09rQG Thats on the redpill sidebar asking for consent for bdsm.
Amazonforest 4y ago
Dude wtf? You should always discuss thos prior to doing this. Have an actual conversation like a human fucking being and talk about what sex you like and what you're into. Establish and safe word and off you go. No need to ask 'is this okay baby' just do what you fucking like and if she doesn't like it she will use the safe word. Its so easy and it's worked like a charm for me 100% of the time.
SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
I think you misinterpreted. Once the cuffs and blindfold were on, i go 100%. Me asking if it was ok, was "the discussion". We were cuddling when i took them out. Maybe it wasnt the best timing? But we werent actively having sex and i just cuffed her. It was in between a round of sex. I should also mention she is an established plate we see eachother once a week for months now. Shes not some random girl off fetlife needing a "munch" to conversate and talk about our likes/dislikes. This girl already knows im dominant.
Once they were on, i dont ask for anything i just dominate. Now i dont need to ask for cuffs next time just cuff her.
Amazonforest 4y ago
Okay so everything youre doing is what I would do and is what I actually do with my LTR. When were both feeling it and i feel like handcuffing her I do that, when i just want to fuck her missionary, I do that.
When you say asking if it was okay was the discussion, i'd say theres nothing wrong with it but from experiences the girl wont feel as submissive and aroused for you as if you were just to do it without asking. Girls like to be dominated and led in the bedroom and often arent as pure and gentle as a lot of people interpret.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
You are reading way too much into this. The "BDSM community" is bluepill and imo there is no reason to be involved in it.
Tell her what you're gonna do to her and do it. Have a safe word. If she uses it you stop. Be nice to her after a rough session. No need to get confused over this.
SgtBuchannon99 4y ago
OK cool, i understand now. I feel like i went super super beta with a plate now.
But my last question is so you just handcuff a girl without asking? I read Vasily Vatilez guide to slaves (red pill mentor) and he said asking for bdsm consent is appropriate. From there its fair game.
Everyone in here is saying its super beta, im confused. Vasily is on the red pill sidebar..
link asking for bdsm consent redpill sidebar https://archive.is/09rQG
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
I tell them im gonna do it, before we have sex. Maybe its on the phone even, or when chatting on the couch before we get intimate. Also have a safe word before starting.
As long as you dont rush anything there is tons of time for her to voice any concerns.
You dont need a verbal yes from her. By that logic you would need a verbal yes for any type of sex.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
I think you're dancing the fine line between assault and BDSM. I think all this beta consent crap is for that reason. So you don't get charged. "Officer, he handcuffed me and whipped me. See all these red marks?".