This post is proof that the Red Pill is not for everyone.

She clearly has red flags from her past and you probably shouldn't have LTRed her in the first, place. However if your life is drama free and she is submissive and cool, then what is the problem? Love bombing is something that happens EARLY in the relationship and the woman can often be very hot and very cold, it sounds different here. It sounds like you've been together for a while and you've been lovey dovey for a while.

Here's your problem:

a) it sounds like this is your typical bluepill relationship, did you spin plates before meeting her? did you vet her for at least 6 months to one year before upgrading her to LTR? I suspect not but please confirm so we all understand.

b) You lack inner game, you need a strong frame and foundation for a healthy LTR or you will wreck it and your girl will become as insufferable as you let her get away with. It doesn't sound like you're at that point yet but all relationships get there when you haven't fully internalized RP principles. Please read up on stoicism and practice daily because you will need it in life.

c) A good LTR is ultimately created, you need to reward her for good behaviour with praise and attention, and punish for bad behaviour by withdrawing attention and being aloof and "busy" when she does the wrong thing. Read this guide for an in-depth explanation: https://www.trp.red/p/humansockpuppet/754

As a rule of thumb, relationships with bpd girls are full of drama created by her moods, these women are good at manipulating and can be intoxicating to be with, the sex is also amazing but they will literally wreck your life. If you are wondering if you are in a relationship with one of these women, then you are not. You will know it when you see it because it's a CRAZY fucking ride.

Yeah you're overthinking things. Yeah she has a few red flags in her past. Men go through changes in relationships. First, there is a fundamental change in brain chemistry based on oxytocin and vasopressin. This will trigger as a result of mating. It manifests as jealousy, mate-guarding, territorialism, and parental investment.

When there is birth control your instinct will tell you she's barren and you'll start to find reasons to get rid of her and find a new woman. I kind of overcome this by having my wife get her tubes tied and trying harder and harder to get her pregnant. I'm to the point where I cum directly into her uterus every time. I do the same thing with prostitutes and ONS to keep the instinct in check.

She often used males for validation because she had low self esteem

fairly normal

, used to self harm

gah, that sucks

because she felt guilty and she often felt like she couldnt say "no" to sex with her first boyfriend .

This is 99% bullshit, you know that right? It's very easy to lie about motive, and girls do, always, about past sexual behaviour.

Now, this girl used to go to a therapist and psychiatrist and had tests done for BPD, narcissisms etc and was NOT diagnosed with it. She was however, diagnosed with "potentially likely to have OCD, and very likely to have anxiety".

Right

This thinking about how bpd women behave led me into a spiral of constant overthinking and that she will discard me,

Nothing you've said so far seems like BPD.

YOUR fear of being discarded is more like BPD behaviour than hers.

You need to get over this. You need to realise there will be other women, you need to not be as attached, you need to be less scared.

She doesnt have any male friends, she is always submissive, we are able to talk like adults and have intimate conversations, she never gets angry or yells, she never showed any signs of being hot or cold switching or splitting i think its called, she often pays for things and is always wanting to see me

all good

Now she does have some bdp tendencies

like what? you've named none of them

because of her past and

you're too attached, it's fucking YOUR head up, not hers. You caught feelings, now you're worrying about HER mental state instead of your own.

I cannot tell the difference between healthy vs bpd relationships.

again,, this is on you not her.

Only danger sign is her past: girls who have been fucked up in the past will be fucked up in the future. Not sure you can handle that. And no, the blame cannot be placed on "men" or "society" or "family"........ 99% of the time "fucked up past" is caused by HER, not by the situation.

"I've had a rough past" is almost always beta bait for "please be my beta". Be aware of it.

I don't think you can handle this relationship, but most of this is coming from you.