So I met up with this girl for the first time last week, ended up making out pretty heavily -- fingered her under her pants but she wouldn't let me take them off. "We shouldn't be doing this." Knew I had it in the bag for the next date.
Had the second date tonight, and we ended up naked. I fingered her a bit but notably couldn't find her clit (I felt everywhere -- the last girl called me the best she's ever had -- what a shame this time), eventually just going for the g-spot until she told me to "stop, actually this time." Both girls I've done this to now have made me stop right before it seems they're about to orgasm, for whatever reason.
Anyways, I just couldn't figure out how to push it to sex tonight. After fingering her, she seemed sensitive and/or turned off and didn't want me to go back down there. I'm also not sure how to actually transition from fingering to sex. It seems like a tough thing to do to keep up the vibe, get out of bed, grab a condom and put it on. While lying in bed, I figured I could either just get up and grab a condom -- but I wasn't sure if she even wanted sex tonight -- or I could've asked, but that's lame. Both seemed like bad options to me. How can I make that happen more naturally?
I'm not too worried about it tonight, and as a newbie I'm proud of what happened, but I know I could've done more. I'll probably secure it next time
Skorpion1999 4y ago
fingering is the gayest shit ever. if she's clearly open to fucking and thing seem consensual, flip her over, rip off her panties, give a big ol tiger lick across her vag and go to town. Women actually like it when you don't give a fuck if they orgasm. (long term you gotta start putting in effort in that area) but honestly an ex of mine left me for a guy because he nutted in her without saying anything. She's a nutcase.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Fingering is not a good prelude to fucking. If there's nothing keeping you two from fucking, you're just killing your momentum by spending time fingering her, and i think it shows some insecurity or lack of experience.
Once you're able to touch her pussy outside her pants without LMR there should be no doubt in her mind that the next step is fucking. Keep escalating and undressing. Dont penetrate her with your fingers, limit yourself to gently rubbing her pussy with your hand (dont worry about her clit) and gauging her level of wetness. At that point she should be turned on and ready to go.
Read Sex God Method by Dan Rose and the sidebar article on Push-Pull.
unplugged69 4y ago
+1 coolsocks knows his shit. OP you acted like a teenager/amateur when you started fingering her. If you have access to her pussy she's already down to fuck and you are showing lack of experience by not going for it. She already knows what's going to happen, she probably started having sex at 14 while we were playing nintendo and looking at boobs online, she definitely has more experience than you.
And who gives a fuck about her clit? You think chad is spending time rubbing her clit and making her feel good? If you are chad you don't give a shit if she cums, you fuck her and you leave. I guarantee she will want to see you again. If you waste your whole night rubbing her clit that bitch is going to ghost you.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Slip a finger in, then rub and apply pressure everywhere from there upwards for the next 2 inches. You don't need to find it, you just need to stimulate it.
Failing that, flip her on her front, finger her from behind and press down on her gspot.
If she's not used to gspot stimulation she can feel like she's about to pee herself.
Avoid fingering.....
Look at it like this: you are providing her with satisfaction and then counting on her gratitude (which doesn't exist in women) to get yours.
It's a better plan to tease her..... touch, squeeze, finger her for a second..... but each time keep pulling back and removing the fun. You want her wild with desire, not satisfied and happy.
You have to avoid her feeling like you're just gonna keep pushing and she's gonna keep applying the brakes. You do this by teasing and takeaways..... rubbing her clit expertly, then stop. Put her hands on you. Make her work for it.
Right...
Ideally she's jerking you off while you're unwrapping it, you put it on (because girls can't), then she carries on..... then flip and fuck.
But this needs her to be basically ready for it and warmed up and wanting it.
Tell her "not without a condom" a few times while you're touching each other..... followed by "here, put this on me". Obviously you'll have to help her but it avoids the mood break of putting it on.
Basically you are involving her more in everything rather than "slip it in before she notices what's happening" or "get verbal assent then apply condom".
Another plan is to get up, put on the condom and tell her "this is just in case........ don't get any ideas". Basically steal her frame. Needs you to stay hard throughout though, ymmv.
If your "relentless chase" vibe that you show on here is something she feels then she will always apply her "make him wait" strategy. Commit to them less, find more girls.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
I actually had a girl pee on me in the back seat of her car when I was 16. She was all skinny and I probably hit her spine with my cock.
hannulv 4y ago
Start at the belly. Rub down over her crotch, tease her thighs and knees. Take your time and get her worked up. When she seems antsy for you to escalate, slide your hand down the front of her panties and just brush your hand over her whole pussy a few times. Grab and squeeze a little bit, kneading the labia, but don't start sticking stuff inside. Next, start at the pubic bone and slide down the center about an inch with your middle finger. You want to keep the clit under the hood at first, rubbing the hood up and down slowly over the clit with a moderate amount of pressure. You should be able to feel her clit because it will swell a little under the the hood like a hard little worm. You don't want to touch the clit directly, especially with dry hands. Once her breathing starts to signal that she's really aroused, then you can move your hand down and trace the lips. She should be soaked. Dip your fingers into the juices enough to get them wet and then slide back up to the clit, this time directly touching it. You should get a reaction, maybe a moan or a pause in breathing. Gently and slowly tease it. If you go faster only do it for a few seconds at a time, and only if you can tell that she's super aroused. Take breaks from her clit every 30 seconds or so and massage her pussy a little bit.
Most girls aren't going to want to cum from foreplay. They want to cum from cock. So while you're teasing them and working them up, your goal should never be to make her cum, but instead to torment her. Think of it like low-grade sexual torture. If she starts to moan too much, give her pussy a little spank and start back slowly on her thighs before you resume working her clit. Somewhere in here you can inch her panties down a little at a time for better access, but don't take them all the way off.
You can now do more invasive fingering if you wish, but I wouldn't with a girl if it was the first time.
There is a push/pull here. If you are working to make her cum, she will resist. If you are tormenting her, she will totally immerse herself.
There are a lot of different potential reasons:
Never push for sex, just push for the experience of enjoying her body and all the sensations and sexual tension. Enjoy her breathing, enjoy her lips, enjoy the way her hair smells. Immerse yourself in the moment.
There are a million ways to do this, but the easiest is to escalate to a BJ or handjob. You've worked her up and now its your turn. Whip it out and put her hands on your cock. Get on your knees and push your cock in her face. Tell her you want her to suck your cock so bad. If she is any good at it, you will quickly notice that you want her to stop before you get too close and unload.
If you think sex might happen, then plan, and put the condom in a more convenient place (ie pocket, nightstand, under the pillow or mattress, etc). That said. It is fine to get up and get one should the need arise. I would make sure that her panties and most of her other clothes were completely off before I went for the condom.
chickengod 4y ago
Really solid advice. Thanks to you, Matt and coolsocks