Hey i'll try summarise. So I got laid a couple of times in my teen years, but i was goofy, nerdy, anti social. I spent years building myself up and improving my SMV. I wasn't red pill but was smart enough to improve my SMV. I really wanted a girlfriend. At 24, I was using dating apps. I didn't have any dating experience. I met a girl who was attractive. She had all the red flags. Promiscuous past, daddy issues, abusive ex's etc. But she was fun, cool to hang out with. We started dating and I fell hard for her. We went out for 9 months. She really did feel like a best friend, as she mirrored my interests and values. In hindsight she may have had some type of personality disorder.

She ended up cheating on me and throwing me away. As if i had meant nothing to her at all. I acted very beta/cringe trying to get her back but she had already monkey branched to the new guy.

I know i was a beta and all that stuff. I have learnt from this. I know that she did me a favour (Imagine if i made her pregnant!). But I felt so horrible having my heart ripped out. From acting like my best friend to just throwing me a way/cheating on me.

I know now that women commonly do this, i know all the red pill stuff. The point of this post is that the pain and hurt i experienced was so bad. I even felt suicidal. It has made me fearful of women. I plated a few average girls but stopped seeing them. I feel nothing. I'm scared of women. It's gotten to the point i feel like giving up on dating. I never want to feel that pain again. I'm over it now.

But how do I get over this fear of women ??? I'm genuinely scared to get close to women at all. I have never felt so horrible about myself when she cheated on me/discarded me. What can Ido?