A few months ago, I started cold approaching women for the first time in my life. But I feel like cold approaching makes me look desperate. Why would a guy who has options ask out girls he doesn't know?
I've read some posts on reddit and they all say that cold approaching and asking out girls makes the guy look desperate for a date. I'm thinking about cold approaching again at my local gym (obviously not going around from girl to girl like a sperg).
Any thoughts?
Amazonforest about a year ago
Honestly If the girl is not giving you any choosing signals, approaching does seem a little bit desperate
User4566 about a year ago
That's what I'm thinking
mattyanon Admin about a year ago
But if you don't do it, you wont have options.
As regards "looking desparate" - who the fuck cares?
This is dumb - as is most of reddit. Look.... by this rationale, asking a girl out is also desperate, trying to fuck her is also desperate, talking to strangers is desperate, etc etc. Most of this reddit shit (other than TRP which is great) is trying to keep unattractive men away from women. Women complain about being approached by unattractive men and try to shame them into not bothering, and they do this with the "desperate" label. But they only ever apply it to unattractive men. Drum this into your head, because it really is that simple:
All female complaints about men are directed at UNATTRACTIVE men. None of their negative comments apply to attractive men. "I hate men chatting me up, men chatting women up is desperate, men shouldn't fuck women, blah blah blah"....... it's all designed to control the unattractive. She'll always happily fuck attractive men who know what they're doing.
There is nothing wrong with taking steps to improve your sex life.
The gym is sacred, don't pollute it.
I'll tell you the two things that women think of as desperate:
You think if she's approached by a hot guy who might be into her and is exciting and fun, that she'll think "wow, this guy is hot and fun and kinda solid and trustworthy and high status..... but I shouldn't be with him because he talked to me therefore he must be desperate"
Nope.... women do not logically reason things out like this. They go by feel, and ignore all logic.
Be attractive and you can get away with anything.
Be unattractive and everything is wrong and your fault.
User4566 about a year ago
Thanks for the insight, but I really don't know where else to approach girls because everywhere else is pretty dead at the moment. My next school semester is starting next week so there's that but the gym is the only place where I'm guaranteed to see hot girls unlike at school where I have to do some hunting on many days. I also get choosing signals at the gym so I figured I could at least talk to some girls to build some comfort and then ask them out.
whytehorse2021 about a year ago
That makes zero sense
User4566 about a year ago
Ok, let me put this into perspective: a guy who has bitches won't care about any other girl he sees because he's well fed and has his own rotation. A guy with no bitches (me right now) would be cold approaching girls because he has no options which can be sensed by girls and seen as desperate.
whytehorse2021 about a year ago
Yeah I get your point but if you know how to pass shit tests it's pretty easy.
User4566 about a year ago
Like what shit tests?
IBelieveInTheFallen about a year ago
Or she could hamster it away… “Our eyes met and he must’ve known I was the one just like I knew he was the one!”
I figure there’s probably a million stories about “true love” that were never told because the guy pumped and dumped or because the girl was a hoe.
User4566 about a year ago
Or both!
I catch girls looking at me at the gym and sometimes at my university so that's why I'm asking this question.
IBelieveInTheFallen about a year ago
So then you’re good to go man.
Those people on Reddit are retards. I saw the comment saying that they say that stuff because they don’t want unattractive men approaching, but tbh I think in the case of Reddit it’s because all those bitches are probably ugly, the ones making those comments, so it’s probably just a way for them to feel better about not being approached.
Bulba about a year ago
You cold approach all the time. When you apply for a job and schedule an interview, that’s a cold approach. There’s no reason to not do the same to women.
mattyanon Admin about a year ago
It's very different with jobs for some reason....... probably because employers don't want attention or their ego rubbed.
Noone got called desperate for applying for a job...... women are a lot more judgmental.
Big-Dan about a year ago
You're overthinking it bro and looking for reasons not to step outside your comfort zone by approaching. If you're looking to rationalize it an alpha easily could have had a plate break and is looking for a baddy to fill the 5th spot on his roster.
A guy going over to a girl and confidently starting a conversation is inherently attractive. The only way it would look desperate is if the girl is giving you obvious signals that she's not interested and you repeatedly keep asking for her number/to go on a date.
I recommend working on your inner game. You're the prize and you're doing a favor by sharing your world with the girl. Even if she's not into you, your approach is probably going to be the most exciting thing that happened to that girl that day
User4566 about a year ago
Great insight! I did cold approach a handful of girls these past few months and I got numbers but it never really led to anything. Girls were either too busy with work/school or they would be giving me "maybe" whenever I asked them to meet up for coffee later that week.
It also hurts my self esteem when that happens, it kind of reinforces the negative feelings I have towards myself.
STAYShredded about a year ago
You get options from cold approach lol, it’s about how you treat them once you start seeing them that shows you have options
pfeilmacher about a year ago
You're just talking to them. Being friendly. You talk to everyone. Don't think of it as "approaching one, hot girl." You're just a friendly person. If they aren't friendly, fuck 'em. Don't overthink this. Keep being friendly, bro.