I met this chick 3.5 months ago. Started as a plate. Now we are in a relationship. Made it official 2 days ago. Not sure if we rushed into the relationship, I guess 3.5 months is long enough.
So to the point. I was a virgin before her. She had a relationship that lasted 2.5 years, she got dumped a year ago in December. And her another sex partner is a guy she knew for a week and met two times and had sex once (according to her). They met in Tinder.
So for some reason this bothers me. The fact that she has had two sex partners before me. I probably wouldn't be bothered if I had prior sex partners. Am I retarded for being bothered? Anyone experienced the same? How the fuck do I get over this.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Because your male. High body count = more likely to be unfaithful, more likely to be pregnant, more likely to have diseases, less able to pair bond.
That's only like 4....... there are probably more, but she stopped talking when saw your reaction.
You have to get over it because they're usually worse than this.
Ignore it, but realise that high n-count women make terrible wives.
Toxicking101 4y ago
Now as I sit here drinking my vodka and considering your question, a few things come to mind:
1) That is not a high body count. The only reason you find this uncomfortable is because your body count is lower (just as you said). 2) The nature of a girl's sexual encounters is just as important, if not more important than the amount of her sexual encounters. There is a massive difference between a girl who had sex with a guy after dating for two months and going through a full courtship process, versus a girl who had a one night stand after a night drinking at the club. 3) I don't think timewise you rushed into this, however wouldn't it have been better knowing about this stuff before you dated her? If you did, you could have stopped it going any further due to it not sitting right in your mind
Finally, and you might not want to hear this my friend, but she might be fckin lying, I mean the extent a girl can act and deceive a man that they perceive to be high value and want to date is truely mind boggling. For all you know, she's been a frequent visitor of the club d'cock carousel. Think about it, you're in the honeymoon phase and so is she, why would she say anything to fuck it up?
If you're really serious about an LTR (and I have no idea why you would at at all), then do some digging into her past and make sure she's relationship material; if you find anything disturbing, DO NOT RATIONALIZE IT AND DECEIVE YOURSELF. Leave her. Also, make sure she's not still talking to any of these guys at all, if you see she is, ghost that bitch like casper.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
I agree with you. Thank you. I've questioned her extensively on her ex and this tinder sex partner she had. She also said that she kissed with another date. So in total she's kissed 3 + me. Her body count isn't anything new to me, it's just been bothering me. But I guess I'm being a bitch here.
Yep. She might be lying. The reason I suspect she is not lying though because she is emotionally not as strong as me, I'm assuming she couldn't keep up with the lies. And I question her hard and actively. And her ex lied to her quite a lot so she thinks lying is pussy as fuck and quite often bluntly says things to me that bothers her (anything really).
Why wouldn't I be serious about LTR? Elaborate? I know a lot of her past, and soon I'll meet a lot of her friends. I've read her diaries etc. I believe myself I've analyzed her quite well, but I'm always leaving room for errors. The only reason I'm in the relationship to begin with is because she has a lot of traits that are hard to find nowadays. Not a slut, highly intelligent, will have a guaranteed high paying job, emotionally less intelligent than me, my SMV is higher, I'm able to control her, body is fine (could be and will be better), many more to touch on here. We agree with a lot of things about life.
Now when I say this, I don't have glowing blue pills in my eyes. I still think about this girl and the relationship often and have my doubts.
Toxicking101 4y ago
It’s good to hear that you’re not losing your RP ways and you’re maintaining an analytical and realistic outlook. The LTR comment was born out of my general disbelief that an LTR can actually work these days and also my general synicism of the utility of such arrangements for the modern red pill man.
By the way, on the meeting her friends part please do check back on my most recent post, it may be the key you’re looking for to check whether she’s worth your time or not.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
Can you link the post? It bugs out when I check your profile
Toxicking101 4y ago
https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/276201/examine_her_friends
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
I read it. You're 16? Surprising. I disagree with your post and pretty much what RP has turned into nowadays. Women are sluts, but so are men. But men are not the same as women. I'm sure that men are emotionally more strong, at least on average. My girl has some new friends from school, a friend group you could say. 4 of them are sluts I would say, she and the other one aren't sluts to my eye. She also said she feels the most connected with the other one that isn't a slut.
To touch on the "women lie" part. Everyone lies and women certainly lie. But you cannot take this path with every single human. It leads to an endless void of doubting. Are you never gonna stop doubting? I've thought about this and this isn't healthy. If one day I have a wife, I can't doubt everything she says to me. I still doubt her quite often, depending on context.
Jordan Peterson touched on the hookup culture. https://youtu.be/WPx91jcEtiI I agree with this. If sex and love loses meaning, because "all women are sluts and stupid children", how are you going to fill the affection that humans (yes, even men) need? Fucking around with random chicks isn't going to be it, I feel like it would make it worse for me.
What you think? Am I wrong? This is the reason why I entered the relationship with my girl. Once again, still keeping my doubts. I'm visioning my future with her, but I'm also visioning my future without her - only time will tell which one destiny has in mind for me.
Toxicking101 4y ago
All i would say is focus on the actions over the words. I too agree that hookup culture leads to a cold void of meaninglessness, but so does getting overinvested into one "unicorn" girl just to have her disappoint you.
I'd rather "doubt" people and see the truth than live in blissful ignorance, but maybe we differ on that.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
There I agree with you. This girl's actions and words match. She dislikes all her friends that are sluts, that hookup quite often.
I doubt all the time and push for the truth. But you have to stop doubting at one point.
Tooktheredpill 4y ago
This is more of a YOU problem brother.
Never ask a woman her body count. She’ll never tell the truth and if she does, you’ll never believe her. Make your opinion of her based solely on her actions. Take your time vetting her.
Pedal_Moonpower 4y ago
And if you ask a body count IMHO make an outrageous joke out of it to.cover up. You don't want to.even give an impression you care, otherwise the guard will be up a lot.
'Oh come.on I had to.be 110th because that bj was perfect 10' grin
Somehow I.grew up this way that although I never knew TRP I made most of my girls tell me sick shit about previous experiences often later when they got invested and I was mocking them about it they got so insanely defensive.
I don't know should I have done it but it was fun.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
This.
You also made the mistake of LTRing your first lay. It shows you either havent read or havent understood core RP principles.
Toxicking101 4y ago
Both of you make extremely valid points, the essential plate spinning bitch management module has been missed from this gentleman’s red pill eduction.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
How? It isn't a core RP principle to spin multiple women and have meaningless sex with them to satisfy your self need (emotions).
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
True. But is a core RP principle to spin multiple plates in order to achieve an abundance mindset, so that you dont have to fake it. That doesnt mean you need to do that your whole life, it's just something every man should experience for a length of time, sooner rather than later.
drewan 4y ago
It's common for young guys to be bothered by the fact that their partner had other sex partners before them, but it's probably a maturity thing. How old are you?
if the girl has under 5 sex partners, it shouldn't bother you. It's not that much of a red flag. In an ideal world the girl would be virgin, but again. I slept with virgins and they are terrible in bed. I wouldn't date virgins.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
We're both 22. Yeah she was bad in bed too even though she had experience. I was bad as well. But we've both taught each other
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Because you have oneitis.
Durek_The_Bald 4y ago
This is one of the reasons why it's advisable for men to spin plates and rack up a decent body count before committing to a relationship. Because this has nothing to do with her body count being high (which it isn't), and everything to do with your body count being low. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, because you allude to this yourself in your post.
Is it retarded? Now, that is actually an interesting question, and I don't know the answer to it. It is retarded in the sense that it comes from the fragile male ego, and your ego probably shouldn't be a guide to you in life. But at the same time, it is part of what it usually is like, on an emotional level, to be a man - the vast majority of men would like to have a higher count than their girlfriends. So in that sense, maybe it is something to be taken seriously.
Basically that leaves you with two options:
1) Kill your ego (the idealistic approach)
or
2) Dump her, and rack up a decent count before getting a girlfriend again (the pragmatic approach)
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Let's see where the future takes. She isn't my girlfriend for the sake of being a girlfriend. She has a lot of traits that I think are rare. Obviously she's not a unicorn, but still I know what I'm dealing with here. I thought about this relationship for weeks and I'm still thinking about it, but let's see what the future holds. I'm the prize, up to her keep me as her boyfriend.