A little bit about my girlfriend. She's 19, and has a lot of green flags, being that she grew up in a strict Christian household and was homeschooled, lived in a town of under 10,000 people, and works for her Church as a caretaker for children.
A few red flags are that she takes anti-depressants, and she drinks often, when her older sister who she shares an apartment with buys her alcohol. She normally seems to just lay in bed and watch tv or sleep when she drinks. Another thing is that when we drink together and I buy white claws for us to share, she always seems to ask for the blackberry or black cherry flavors, which seems odd to me as the other flavors are just as good if not better. She's also told me that her best friend back from her home state that she texts frequently still, slept with mainly black guys, and that her friend was a slut, but she never agreed with her lifestyle. But they respected each others' decisions.
So it started when we went to go camping, and we were driving through a snowy area to get to our campsite. She's from a snowy state, where it's cold and it snows year except summer. She moved to my city/metro area 2 years ago, where there's not much snow in the state. She says "I had no idea it snowed here, it feels so much like state name", and then we keep driving, and she goes "This is so exciting, I just want to get out of the car and jump around like a snowbunny", I play it off like I don't know what that word means, because who doesn't know what it means. I basically say "We can't get out right now but that does sound like fun, we can stop at some point and get out of the car".
Now this has been bothering me for a while, this happened a month ago. She also has blonde hair and blue eyes. I can't tell if this is a glimpse of a sexual past or part of her identity that I didn't know about, or a slip that revealed some truth to her possible lies. Am I overthinking this and she could've just been naive and ignorant and been talking about an animal, or is that a really big dealbreaker/red flag? I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but something in my gut is telling that either she was trying to be purposely disrespectful to me or irritate me, or that she really has done stuff with black guys and fetishizes it.
Pedal_Moonpower 2y ago
Her 'slut' friend will influence her sooner or later. Alco will just trigger it easier if not before.
If she was raised properly by really religious parents it means that if she lies she will have it harder to hide, not that she will not do stupid shit. That your chance to spot stuff easier.
Make her comfortable talking and dont sweat it, so she'll tell you more.
Rest was already coveredf.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
I'd say your likely overthinking it. She's 19. 19 year old females are basically retarded.
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SheLarror1234 2y ago
Lol. Irony is that retarted people dont make good mates anyways.
"A few red flags are that she takes anti-depressants, and she drinks often, when her older sister who she shares an apartment with buys her alcohol. She normally seems to just lay in bed and watch tv or sleep when she drinks. Another thing is that when we drink together and I buy white claws for us to share, she always seems to ask for the blackberry or black cherry flavors, which seems odd to me as the other flavors are just as good if not better. She's also told me that her best friend back from her home state that she texts frequently still, slept with mainly black guys, and that her friend was a slut, but she never agreed with her lifestyle. But they respected each others' decisions"
Don't hate black guys OP *(but i agree with neo about that dynamic).... Yes its possible she was messing around, but the real deal is how naïve you are about her virtue, and the insecurity you are reeking from a mile away as a result. This is the biggest red imo. Maybe she really smashed some black dudes maybe she didn't. Even if she did you cant change it. So unless you want these worries to turn into insecurity and slow tick your frame, its best to not worry about it and focus on the other stuff you are missing.
~Because since you believe in her stories I'm worried about your frame bro. Learn more ab female nature. When dealing with young women, ESPECIALLY young women, you always, always want to assume she is already the biggest whore. Especially church girls.
Initial-Glove 2y ago
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SheLarror1234 2y ago
Yea your right. Usually they age not to be more honest, but more opportunistic. I assume for all women, but young ones are usually more of the textbook "whore".
When they get older though i personally I like to call them something else of equal title. Just a way i organize my words.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
I think they do tend to become more selective as they age. Less naiive and shit, slightly wiser on the avg.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
It is true that church doesn't mean shit. Dunno about the rest, just speculation. The friend is def a red flag tho, white girls who fuck around with blacks usually have major issues. Nothing wrong with blacks, but there are psychological implications to this dynamic and they aren't good ones. Explaining would require an essay so I'm not gonna but it is a red flag. Anyway many church girls are hoes. I know this from experience. All it means is her mother probably isn't a ho, she didn't choose it herself it was chosen for her by her parents. It might be even worse because she might have that FOMO shit going on and now that she is on her own.... anyway, just don't make assumptions.
This is all just speculation though, you gotta handle this yourself dude. She might be pure, she might not. Don't be paranoid but don't be too trusting either. The snowbunny thing.. I wouldn't put much stock in. Inconclusive.
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NeoSpartan 2y ago
No, I don't have any particular preference. Though I will probably be fucking a black girl next weekend, but that will only be my second. There aren't that many in my area. I'm probably also being fetishized by them. In fact, I'm almost 100% sure of it based on some context clues. I think the main difference is it's a lot safer for them then it would be the other way around.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
You're overthinking both the comment and her preference in bad-tasting alcohol drink flavors.
She's also got a lot of red flags but that's another conversation.
She's 19 and in her prime party years, enjoy your relationship for what it's worth, you're really young for taking an LTR seriously at this age
Edit: wait until she gives a genuine concern about her past before getting too deep into thought about things
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Your gut is telling you she's promiscuous based on her behaviour and who she associates with. Imagine you're a hot blonde 19yr old who just moved to the big city and you've heard all these tales of big black dicks from your friend...
Iliketoast 2y ago
I may be off the mark here but i think im right for the same reasons ill explain.
When i was meeting people off tinder, girls often use their friends experiences as a measure of your reaction on dates. Meanwhile they live the same life. Girls dont compare experiences (emotional or sexual) without getting a taste yourself to report back. Remember these girls can open their legs to anyone and usually do for some experience. Theyre fluid to that impulse.
Ill be blunt, this girl is probably dabbling in the same experiences.
Men in red pill talk about red flags as they follow a common pattern. We dont follow the same model, we problem solve. Girls just react to their environment.
What isnt talked about so much is gut feeling. Gut feeling is your subconscious picking up on things your conciousness cant. The subconcious sees more than we can handle. Its how we can tell a fight is gonna happen before it does.
Our brains can only handle so much and need naratives that suit our ego and we go against our gut to our detriment. This is what the red pill is. Compared notes about things we missed so our consciousness can predict them.
If a girl is telling you her friend has sex with different people every week, you often become a white night and say wow what a slut.
Or you can see this as a predictor for her own behaviour and use that playbook. I have so many cringe moments where i figured out why my subconcious was right but i couldnt access it only to miss out on an opportunity that was glaringly obvious.
Ps. Dont settle down with this one, just use her now obvious game against her to get yours.
lexor32 2y ago
Is this a joke? She literally just meant an actual snow bunny wtf. Her friend being a slut is sort of a red flag if you are looking for something serious but it depends how close of friends IMO
lildudefromXdastreet 2y ago
Are you not aware that a snowbunny doesn’t only refer to white girls that fuck black guys? I’m not saying there aren’t any red flags, but that’s a very odd thing to be worried about lol.
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mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Keep an eye out, but you're probably overreacting.
probably subconsciously used the term from knowing her slutty friend, might not even understand what it means.
keep an eye out, but this isn't a red flag by itself.
if she really preferred black guys she wouldn't be with you.
if you're dating and the sex is great: enjoy it.