Been in and out of TRP. 28 YO
I've lost about 40 pounds of weight, and now am hitting gym consistently for the past 8 weeks. I've got 4 weeks left in this routine I am doing and I've made serious strength gains and also put on a decent amount of muscles. I get compliments from my friends about it, and its noticeable in pictures. I still have a lot of fat so no abs yet.
I've also started doing BJJ twice a week minimum, and five days a week recently before the holidays since I've got the bug and I am obsessed.
I've accomplished a lot already and my salary is in top 1% of salaries in my country. I have enough stocks to retire if I'd like right now.
However, I still do not feel a change really. I am still insecure and do not feel worthy. I do not have more confidence and I am constantly ruminating about girls in the past that I never really made any progress with. I often replay old days in my head and picture things playing out differently. I do the same for future scenarios.
I am definitely doing a lot of mental masturbation. I've been spamming TRP podcasts and listening to Patrice talk, but nothing is really internalizing.
How long does it take for me to transform mentally? How do I become less neurotic, anxiety driven bitch? Who cares about everyone else?
Recent Backstory: (its long and you can skip it, I understand you guys got goals to hit Recently, parents set my up with some Indian chick from back home who has literally no value other than her looks. I wasn't that interested so she started stalking me and giving me a lot of her time, sharing childhood pics etc. We chatted for like 3-4 hours first couple of days and she seemed a bit invested. Time went on and I got boring, emotional. One day she said that I seem too attached already and that hopefully I don't say something liked "i've done so much for you when she walks away". This was likely a shit test that I failed. After this, I do not remembered having fun conversations with her an things being dull. It didn't work out.
Historically, its been the same with other girls.
Back backstory: When I was a kid I was sexually abused. I didn't have the balls to tell anyone and this is the first time I am telling it to strangers. This kind of fucked me up and I became super horny and I couldn't really make anything with it. When we moved to this new country, I became a different person and tried very hard to fit in and not get bullied. When I was a kid, I was more confident, and could talk to anyone regardless of their age or gender. i want to be my old self again. I want to have enough experiences with women now so that even if I do get arrange married, or in "love marriage" i can make something out of it. I hear you guys that its not worth it, but I want kids.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
It took me a couple years of being an Alpha(in Asia) before it sunk in and I just had that IDGAF attitude. It was quite the shock coming back to the US and being treated like crap by women because I'm just a lowly 6ft white guy with average looks, lol.
Tooktheredpill 2y ago
One thing that helped me was I’d just start talking with women with absolutely no expectation of trying to get a number or contact info. Doing that takes all of the pressure off of you while getting desensitized to talking with them. After a while you’ll get a lot more comfortable. You’ll also find that when you’re just having a chat with a female, if she’s interested and you kindly end the interaction, they will ask YOU for your number or social media.
Take the pressure off of yourself my friend. Just talk with strangers with no intention of getting their numbers. Baby steps.
And as another poster said, you may want to consider seeking a good therapist for your past, tragic childhood. I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I hope you seriously consider getting some help with that.
Best of luck to you and remember, take it easy on yourself and take your time. Best wishes brother.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Takes time to learn to prioritise yourself and ignore everything else. You have to live it, and accept that it's right, and it gradually sinks in.
not a shit test, more like a warning that she's leaving and when she does she doesn't want to be held responsible.
Seek help for this, but ultimately it's simply your life to do with as you will
Marriage is a terrible fucking plan for a man. No amount of "experience with women" will make marriage work. Experience of women simply tells you that marriage is a terrible idea.
You mention everything except talking to girls. How is approaching girls going?
Laplace 2y ago
I have not been approaching at all. I know this is an excuse but the only place outside I have been going is the GYM. BJJ is just guys.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
You just gotta get out there and start doing stuff man, theory is great and all and it sounds like you are well set up to hit the ground running, but you gotta actually go get some practice in in you want to improve your practical skills. Although, if you are an Indian living in the west, you are gonna have some hardships unless you are super handsome and tall or somethin. Personally, if I were in your position monetarily and comfortable with being an expat, I'd bugger off to south east Asia or latin america or something, perhaps India?, though I dunno much about the culture or women of India but western women are mostly terrible and Indians have the lowest smv here. I'd like kids too eventually, maybe in 5-10 years or so. Anyway, first you gotta get some practice in, so go get after it.
Laplace 2y ago
I will start taking action and start breaking my ego of rejection. Women in India are worse than here. They are more entitled because the ratio of men and attractive women is way off. They are also the same in terms of sexuality. The thought process that they have lower n count or 0 n count is completely false. If they look good, they've been gamed, and most of them are Alpha Widows given the Pareto is also way off in India (a lot more Betas, a lot less Alphas). My cousins there have had 20+ girlfriends are in their early 20s. Money and Status is super big there, and good looks of men matter a lot more.
The girl I was talking to was literally bringing nothing on the table and the power shifted in her favor as the calls kept going. It is my fault of course.
I am Indian. I am 5"7' so yeah I got a lot of hardships here, but I do think unless I take action, it doesn't matter. I am also super self conscious about myself.
I think my next goal is to just approach and develop social skills and stay consistent with all the other value adding habits I have going on right now.
NeoSpartan 2y ago
Not giving too much of a fuck is a big power boost. If there's less alphas that should mean it would be easier though. Sounds about the same as the US where I am tbh. 20+ gfs by age 23 is definitely achievable. I only had 5 by that time, but I've always been more comfortable with the long term type stuff, and I never really hunted much until 3 months ago. Relationships just kinda happened. Now though, I'm working from home and don't go out as much so I'm dipping my toes into game and such since I'm basically trying to meet strangers now and going in lukewarm instead of hot.
Yeah, you can never seem to eager, it turns them off every time pretty much. Maintain frame. Especially now when girls are so used to constantly being chased on ig and social media and such. You gotta put yourself in a different category than those simps if you want her to be wet for ya. It's a psychological thing. Never be too available, you got your own shit going on. There's a power dynamic in play.
I'm 5'6, height matters, but it isn't anything to worry about and you can't improve it anyway. I can still get dates really easy. Keep going to the gym, getting a nice body is also a huge power boost, I know this from experience. Being self conscious is death, try and work on that. Find something you are awesome at and bring that frame of mind to your other endeavors.
Yeah do that, maybe start with something simple. Make some guy friends and hit some bars or something with em. Maybe in your bjj classes. Start doing some approaches too maybe, experience is the best teacher. Don't be afraid to fail, you will, many times, especially at first.