Hello.
Context: Got out of an LTR recently. Was a nasty ending, didn't want to end it, but I did end it in pettiness. (woops, beta. lesson learned), and now she wont talk to me. Chilling.
Ive made it my life's fucking mission to never let oneitis hit me again, and that mission will be accomplished by meeting a metric fuckton of girls in 2022 and onwards.
I also have real, non female related life missions that I'm working on, let me make that clear lmao. But having girls around has been an undeniable boost to my life.
I "Loved" my ex, whatever that means. I truly enjoyed our experiences and our connection. I want to experience that with multiple girls as to stay clear of oneitis.
I want plates, but with genuine connections, so I've realized I need to just meet so many girls. I won't just fuck anything, I really need to have a genuine attraction and genuine connections. Much more fulfilling.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do though in order to efficiently speed meet girls.
What I am currently doing to meet more girls...
1) On 2 online dating apps. Tinder & Bumble. 2) Reddit (some subreddits for meeting) 3) Meetup.com (The App to join events and groups for meetups) 4) The Gym
1) OLD has been trash. I am handsome, but I just don't have the right pictures as I have steered clear of all social media. I have NEVER had success with online dating due to that reason. I just simply don't get enough quality matches. I could easily chat up the 4s and 5s but I will never budge on attraction. 7s+ only.
For example, a 4 hit me up first "Meatball, or Angus?" and I replied "Meatball Angus, topped with a lil parmesan, melted to perfection. It's really that simple"
she replies "I mean, what else could you ask for?" then I just ghost because she's a 4 lmao..
I already know to work on getting the right photos so thats incoming. Are there other apps people suggest for online dating? I expect I'll need to sign up to 3-5.
2) Reddit. Surprisingly my best way since my breakup to just talk to girls, have had 2-3 girls a night message me and we start talking / sharing pictures. Here are the stats.
6 posts over 6 days. 9 girls have messaged me over those 6 days. 8 of them are literally 3s and 4s (89%) 1 of them is a 7, personality seems like an 8, aspirations and life work are a 10.
the 7, I actually have spoken to on the phone a few times and we have plans sometime in the next few weeks to hang for some dinner (busy schedules)
I just ignore the 3s,4s, sorry, sue me.
So I'll just continually do this as part of my daily routine.
3) Meetup app, it might just be my area, but it seems like a cock fest. I don't mind meeting new guy friends, but like, I have so many lmao. Also, the only popular events in my 50 mile radius are soccer meetups (which I attend) but that's a 99% guy to girl ratio. Which is fine, love soccer.
4) I've been going to my gym for years, haven't seen regular girls that I am interested in, might need to move closer to the city and join a new gym in order to meet more people this way..
5) ??? Any Ideas? I really value meeting people in person, not online dating. I do have hobbies, I participate in soccer/ jiujitsu, but its 99% guys. I need a hobby that i'll genuinely enjoy, but with a 50% ratio , not 99%.. any ideas?
I'm telling you guys, my social goal right now is to literally have 5-10 SOLID genuine connections by the end of next year. What else can I do?
Init2winit about a year ago
I've been struggling with the same but last week, I joined a yoga class. Holy $**t, man. Game changer. I've been to 4 classes and each had at least two 7s. A Saturday morning class had 4 or 5 with an 8..8.5. Thats where they all congregate.
Myrtrp about a year ago
Last bit of context,
I have about 2 girls that I have genuine connections with that aren't in my state. One is even outside the country. But we talk weekly, and have a solid , flirtatious friendship.
I plan on visiting them sometime in 2022, but I want connections locally. I really value these 2 girls and I know I could form more flirtatious connections if I just rack in the numbers.
I also have a few girl friends that I've just known my whole life and there will never be an attraction for them, and that's fine.
NeoSpartan about a year ago
Long distance is shit. Don't bother. Even an hour away is problematic af ime.
Nicetomoleyou about a year ago
Outside the country? Lol you’re an orbiter
Myrtrp about a year ago
Shes a family friend, ive known her my whole life. we used to do family vacations when we were younger.
Our parents grew up together in the middle east, but my fam moved to the states.
In my adult life ive visited her and shes visited me many times now, and i don't intend to give that up.
Nicetomoleyou about a year ago
Are you fucking her or not? If not, you’re her girlfriend. Period. Sidebar
Myrtrp about a year ago
When we visit each other we do fuck. And then we go our seperate ways for several months to 2 years and I could give a fuck who she fucks in between then.
Until she’s married or in a serious long term relationship (which we both have from time to time) then I back off and we just casually talk.
There’s literally no issue here, it’s just a bonus and genuine fuck.
Why is this an issue lmao. Please tell me what the problem is.
koedeloe123 about a year ago
You're trying way too hard. Talking about finding new hobbies, just to hit on women... You waste all of your time on multiple dating apps, and sub Reddits. Where has this gotten you? Nowhere. Seems like you're only meeting girls you're not even attracted to. What gives? OLD is a mess, and you shouldn't waste your time on it.
Ever since I deleted all of my social media 3 years ago, I had no choice but to approach girls in real life. Cold approaching, social circle game, ... This is where you meet quality women. You can immediately tell if there's a connection, and if you're genuinely attracted to her. The amount of times when I had Tinder dates in the past, just for her to show up and look 20 kg heavier than on her pictures is unreal, what a waste of time.
I'm not trying to bash you. I'm just telling you to get away from all the online crap. It's a huge waste of time, and will get most guys frustrated. Keep increasing your SMV, and you'll meet quality women. I'm sure you can do it.
So you have two options: 1) The lazy approach: Stick to online dating apps, and meet trash girls. 2) Put in the work, keep increasing your SMV, get off the online apps, and approach girls you find genuinely attractive in real life.
Myrtrp about a year ago
Yeah man, 100% agree.
That’s why I said I value real life stuff more then OLD, and hence why I’m asking for advice. I’m working on smv constantly, I work from home in sales so it’s just hard to meet friendships / relationships through work
Point of this post is to ask for advice on how to get myself out there more through actual events, not just going to a club / bar or a grocery store to day game.
As for OLD, I think it pairs fine, ya I sift through the shit but I’ve met a beautiful person through it and ya we still talk to this day. I’m not actively using these apps either. Again, I value real life over the apps I’ve just had way more success through the randomness of real life
koedeloe123 about a year ago
The period when I met most of the girls ever in a short period of time, was when I started going out solo. You have to talk to everyone, not just girls. The amount of times when I met a group of cool dudes, just for them to introduce me to their female friends and set me up, is unreal.
It's all about expanding your social circle. The more people you know, the more likely you'll meet new women. You can meet people anywhere. You enjoy playing soccer. Meet like-minded guys there. Chances are that they have girlfriends who have single and attractive friends.
Most people stick to 1 social circle. You should aim for as many as possible, you'll always have something to do, and you'll meet a lot of people. Even if you go out solo, you'll probably bump into people you know. It's all about putting yourself out there. You can be this fun and social guy everyone talks about and likes. Or you can stay at home, and scroll through online dating apps, where you're just one of the thousand guys she'll see on her screen.
NeoSpartan about a year ago
Meh, I hate doing that. OLD works fine. I've met like 10 girls now through it over the last 3 months. Much less work than being a social butterfly, at least for me. I find most people to be boring af, I did that thing you suggested last night, went out to an event at a bar with a bro, super lame and way more work than OLD is. Dudes are boring, and I only hae so much social energy in reserve to spend on giving a shit, why waste it on some dudes who want to talk about vaping, veganism, mopeds, unicycles or the castle they live in or w/e. I don't care and pretending to is taxing af. Putting yourself out there is boring and a huge waste of time and energy. I'll stick to chilling at home and meeting girls from the comfort of my couch thx.
Anyway tl:dr your way only works for extroverts. Introverts like me hate it. OLD is better, just take good pics and don't be boring or weird during your chats. Most people are fucking boring, and/or stupid. If you aren't, you'll stand out from most guys on there.
koedeloe123 about a year ago
If everyone's boring around you, then maybe you are the reason. Stop with the introvert vs extrovert bullshit. You either step out of your comfort zone, put in the work, and become a real man, or you can make up dumb excuses that you're an introvert.
If you want to feel sorry for yourself, I can't stop you. All I'm saying is that you should step out of your comfort zone, you can't expect everything to go smooth from the start, it takes time. Sounds like whole your life revolves around women, no wonder you can't connect with men.
I hope you're a troll, I've seen u many times on this forum with the worst advice. If you're not a troll, you better get to the side bar.
NeoSpartan about a year ago
It's not an excuse, it's a temperament. I've always hated socializing with randos, and most people are quite boring, maybe you are not, good for you, but that sounds like a hell of a lot of work for very little reward. I did that mixing with different social groups thing in hs and college, was fine then, people were more interesting at that age. Now though, everyone is boring and talks about their work or some other mundane crap that I've already heard about 100 times before. I have 3 close male friends that I've known for over a decade. That's enough for me. Quality beats quantity imo.
I don't feel sorry for myself, dunno where you are getting that from. My last 3 months have pretty heavily involved girls yeah. I'm scouting for a good long term gf right now so most of my weekends have been spent on dating. I like it though, the one on one hanging out thing, even if the girl is next worthy I still enjoy the dates, although, I have been thinking lately that I should just pretend with some of em because I haven't had sex in like a month.
No I haven't read the sidebar, but I think I do some of the stuff mentioned in it already. I just learned through trial and error. What advice was bad? And how? I think I do pretty well with girls.
[deleted] about a year ago
[--removed--]
Myrtrp about a year ago
Thanks bro! Good advice
Hanscheezburger about a year ago
Most girls I've been with have been through personal contacts, friend of friends etc... Most of the time I'd ask their facebook/ insta after meeting. I keep an active social media, check their interests by how they interact with my account. Pretty successful so far. Keep hanging out with your friends and they'll introduce you to new people.
Second source is cold approach, could be anywhere. Not as successful but very fun to do and I do score here and there.
Never tried OLD and probably never will.
[deleted] about a year ago
[--removed--]
mattyanon about a year ago
great
Great if it works for you, sucks if it doesn't. If you have abs, flash 'em.
Crazy, how the hell you doing this? Posting in some reddit selfies dating place?
yeah, how much of this is scammers and attention seekers?
nothing to apologise for, you can have any standards or preferences you like.
Sure, works for socialising and social circle expanding, it's not going to work for insta dating.
don't shit where you eat?
Yeah.... go out when it's reasonably busy into a moderately sized city, walk around and create opportunities to talk to women.
Coffee and shops is easiest, warm day street is harder, cold day street is harder, cold street at night is really hard. There are other options.
Hear you there.... most hobbies have 99% male interest because women just don't seem to fucking do anything unless it's easy cardio at the gym or aerobics. I can't think of a single 50% ratio hobby that I could bear to do.
Suggestion: don't put extra info in the comments, it gets lost easily and breaks the flow.
Right.
Bear in mind that the gender ratio of your town affects your short term dating prospects. Towns actually differ a lot in gender ratio (40 to 60%) and that difference affects to how much guys can call the shots ("fuck me and we'll see about dating") vs women ("date me and we'll see about fucking").
Yeah, not relevant.
Best option I can think is to work on your social life and party life, go out at night a bit (it sucks, but it's still worth doing to practice flirting with strangers), and day game (by far the best imo).
NeoSpartan about a year ago
Re: the gym thing, I used to do this before masks. You don't shit where you eat yes, that's why you take a light touch here. If you see some girl scoping you, just say a casual hi maybe and see where it goes, gauge her receptiveness and keep convos short and light, you'll run into her later if you go to the same gym at the same times. Go at the same times every week, most people do that. Gym game should be slow imo, similar to if you were trying to get with a girl at work. Keep it light and friendly. Best time for gym ratios is early morning ime. Girls do lift, hot ones too, at least in my area.
coolsocks00 about a year ago
You can have a "genuine connection" with a woman, but you need to keep the RP perspective. Love them for what they are; dont project your own Disney-fantasy upon them. Dont get too attached and dont get needy. Read the sidebar.
While OLD gets a ton of hate (both warranted and not), it can be a great additional source of women, especially while still building a social circle, doing cold approaches and getting into dating again. Read reddit TRP guides on how to use it.
Tinder/Bumble/Hinge: I only use Tinder actively for OLD and while i now have a rotation of plates going, it's still my main source for getting dates. Keep your standards high, dont swipe right on girls you wouldnt 100% bang (i.e. she needs to have a couple full body photos and look slim or whatever is to your liking). I usually go for younger girls and set up a wine date straight to my place, but will sometimes compromise and do coffee/bar dates.
Reddit etc: Never used it and i see it as a huge red flag that a good looking girl would ever use this form of dating. I'd get off.
Cold approaching/day game: This is a low success rate way of meeting women, but it works. Getting better at cold approaching will make your general social skills so much better, and picking up women will get noticably easier with practice.
I dont go far out of my way to cold approach but i do it whenever im doing other activities, and so should you. Gym chick? Chat her up (dont shit where you eat principle still applies). Girl on the bus? Do it. Grocery shopping? Hell yeah. Mall shopper? Yes. Expect an extremely low but slowly increasing rate of f-closes.
Social circle game: Probably the easiest way to get laid but getting an in with a group of interesting and good looking people can be hard as an adult. Dont have any advice for it as it hasnt been my thing so far.
Most important thing is to keep working on your SMV i.e. Game, Money, Looks, Status.
whytehorse2021 about a year ago
OLD is crap. You need to focus by age range. The 18-28 demographic is all about partying.
coolsocks00 about a year ago
They are also very into getting dicked down by red pilled guys they meet on dating apps
NeoSpartan about a year ago
You sound pretty much exactly like me. Except I have had some success with OLD. No Idea where girls congregate, tried going out to a bar (don't really like em though, drinking and talking to people is boring) last night because my buddy invited me and I really wanted to at least get my dick wet(also will not bang anything under a 7, just not attracted) because these girls I'm dating/courting rn are nuts and it was shit. Very few attractive women, and those there were already with dudes. One of them was eye fucking the shit out of me and attractive enough but her bf was right fucking there.. dude was drunk and listless but... nope. Gross.
I usually like OLD, it's not hard to get them to meet you really and then you can plan something that doesn't suck. I much prefer it to going out, I probably should have gone to a rave instead if I wanted to get my dick wet now that I think about it. There's a bunch of hot thots who love those for some stupid reason, but I hate em, probably because I don't do E or w/e.
Dunno what else you can do, OLD works well enough imo. Apps I've been using off and on are Coffee bagel, Hinge, OkCupid, tinder and I might create a new bumble at some point. Tinder is probably the worst, I've matched with like 30 7-9s and only actually met and dated one. With other apps the match to date ratio is more like 25% instead of 3%. Except for OkCupid, but that's because of all the SEA girls on there fucking around with their location data. Have met with some hot girls from that one too though.
Hobbies and meetup groups with good ratios.... dunno. Did date a girl who was into boxing, tiny little thing, it was very cute. Damn she was hot and fun to hang with... can't believe I fucked that one up :(
Tooktheredpill about a year ago
You know how to defeat oneitus permanently? Learn to be okay on your own. Stay single and alone for about a year. It’s amazing how much it helps. It’ll literally give you the super power of “I could take it or leave it.”
thiagogo about a year ago
I'll have to follow you since the information you present is really real, reflecting correctly and objectively, and it's quite useful for society to grow together. https://motox3m.co
Tooktheredpill about a year ago
Thanks brother. I’m not too active, but when I do reply, I try to be as factual and “real” as possible while remembering the fact that I was “once there” a few years ago.
Take care man.