Generally I only text for logistics. I matched with a girl on Hinge and we took the conversation over to instagram dms. I asked her out and she responded with "Do you mind if we talk for a bit before I decide if I want to get a drink together. It would make me more comfortable". How should I proceed? I hate having to text girls for long periods because it's a waste of my precious time considering all the flakes out there.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
It's a bit sketchy that she moved over to Instagram, just be careful what you send over those DMs, there are blackmailers who commonly set up Instagram sext scams doing that.
Assuming she's not a blackmailer, don't spend too much more time talking, pick a low pressure date like coffee if need be, and if she's still not biting, she's wasting your time.
Have abundance, don't dwell on this one match that much longer. If she's fundamentally uncomfortable going to even low-pressure dates, she shouldn't be on the apps
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Comfort is established in person.
Reality: she doesn't know if she's attracted or not, so she's playing for time on that.
What to do: agree, but then maintain distance, don't answer much, be a bit disagreeable, don't fall for the beta trap, talk to her less and less as time goes on, make sure she sees you in great physical shape in awesome pics. In short fade her out a bit while being attractive.
Fundamentally this is 90% chance she's a timewaster, but maybe with a few more pics and a bit less commitment from you she'll come around a bit.
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koedeloe123 4y ago
I take it as a sign that she's uninterested and move on. These are the kind of girls who will waste your time and flake on you. Out of all the girls who gave me that bullshit excuse, maybe 5% of them actually ended up in a date. The girls who were genuinely interested made it easy for me to set something up. Read in between the lines, the medium is the message.
I'm at this point when it's not a hell yes from her, it's a no from me. No time for girls who waste my time.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Same, I pick low-pressure first dates where either of us can eject at any point and that cost next to nothing. I haven't been getting flakes either with this approach.
The only girl who's flaked on me was from out of state that I met dancing and she was staying with her friend. Changed her mind the next morning but I knew it was logistically bad to begin with so it didn't matter
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Agreed, any time I've gone to dinner as a first date, it's been an unworthy experience. I won't do them unless it's earned
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