So i have always had aggression issues but recently they have been getting worse due to work stress and even the slightest wrong look from someone makes me want to assault them. Normally i just chalk it up to stress and me being slightly deranged and i just go work out which allows me to relax for a few hours until the stress hormones inevitably build up again. Recently i had a situation where i was on a first date with a tinder date and we were going for a walk and this short 5'5 manlet came and started hitting on my date (she wasn't reciprocating his advances). Anyways long story short he walked up to us which I am assuming was to escalate some physical contact and I just decked him in the face. Luckily there was noone around and me and my date left right after this happened. I honestly had the urge to massacre this kid to the point i didnt even care about the date. I also had an encounter a few months back at a pick up soccer game where i got fed up with a guy playing rough and just cross checked him in the face when he was running towards me (this started a brawl and both our teams got thrown out of the league).
I feel my responses are fairly justified. Am i being a retard? How do I handle these situations better without risking getting a record/jail time while simultaneously not being a bitch?
Tooktheredpill 3y ago
I’m not sure where you live but all it’s going to take is you doing that with the wrong (or right) person and your life will be wrecked, or worse. You’ve got to get that under control brother, even if that means anger management classes or counseling. Sooner or later you’re going to come across someone faster, bigger, stronger or crazier than you are.
Good luck man. I hope you get your answer and act on it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
What the fuck, yes you're being a retard. Either of those people could have put you in jail over that bullshit. None if was justified, what the fuck man, read self-defense laws, you're doing it wrong. That's unwarranted assault on your part.
If you don't want to be a bitch, brush it off like you don't give a fuck, unless you genuinely should give a fuck, which you didn't need to any either situation
As for the aggression, let yourself feel sad for once and process what's bothering you. I assume you've got past shit in your life that led to all of this. Let yourself feel whatever it is, because you're fighting against the world externally over shit that's probably going on internally
You're probably looking at what I just typed like it's glittery bullshit, but you seriously sound like this is an internal thing, not what others are doing. Process it so you can understand where this aggression is even coming from to begin with
dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
Well I will tell you what my thought process is (however twisted it may be).
The soccer situation the guy was swiping my ankle constantly which has had previous injuries. I told him to chill since its just a beer league and that if he does it again il fuck him up. He choose to get fucked up. My thought process is why would I let some guy just injure me over nothing without having pay back. I am a strong believer in an eye for an eye.
The date situation, I felt like this guy was calling me a bitch, since it was some short skinny rice dick that was basically saying look at me I can take what's yours and you you are too much of a faggot to do something about it. We naturally hierarchal by nature and i just felt like this manlet needed to be reminded of his place at the bottom of the pecking order.
I am not saying what i typed in the above is justification for violence I am just saying these are the emotions that led me to behave like this. I am not sad in general and fairly content with how my life turned out, I just have a need for there to be a hierarchy and for people to know their place. I used to do wrestling in university and I always felt pretty calm even if I lost a match. Maybe this is linked to my aggression issues?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
"My thought process is why would I let some guy just injure me over nothing without having pay back. I am a strong believer in an eye for an eye."
You can think that from your jail cell one day if you keep it up and if it helps you sleep in the cell then that's your call. Eventually you'll deck someone in the face who's got daddy as a lawyer or has a fragile ego that will call police. Or worse, they'll be concealed carry holders. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
"I am not sad in general and fairly content with how my life turned out, I just have a need for there to be a hierarchy and for people to know their place."
Well if that's the case, which I am doubtful of (as indicated by lack of emotional control and impulsivity) and it is just your belief system, and not emotional difficulties, it's going to put you in jail one day.
That is not how the modern day hierarchy works. This isn't the 1800s. Most alpha men would look at your random aggression as beta behavior. Chad wouldn't have to deck people to make his point.
You expected wrestling to be a rough contact sport. Hence no anger when your opponent tries their hardest to pin you. You expect everyone else to be a saint out in the real world under your ideal "hierarchy" and it's not working out.
Some people are dickheads, and they have problems of their own, so they're gonna do dickhead shit. What you're doing is illegal and a felony, I'm being blunt with you
Edit: if you have to deck people to make your point, you are near the bottom of said heirarchy, because your value and frame does not speak for itself enough to have influence on others
dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
by definition an alpha would be physically aggressive, thats where the definition comes from. People tried to fuck with Mike Tyson all the time and he was at the very top of the hierarchy. Getting tested by people comes with the territory.
I just think its fucked up there are no consequences for people. So lets say i did nothing in either situation. In one situation I would have ended up with a potential life long injury where the guy basically gets no repercussion. In the second situation the guy is being a dickhead and was making my date pretty uncomfortable and he advanced at us... I don't know what his intentions were and I don't care enough to wait and find out.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
You're hopeless, you sound like an autist who was raised in the basement of fight club.
Alphas are aggressive in nature (animals), not in civil society, where status has been replaced with modern benchmarks for high value.
Lifelong injury? It's a pickup soccer game, what obligation do you have to continue playing the game if you're at risk of injury? You got ejected anyway so why didn't you just stop playing and go somewhere else if you were at risk. Fucking leave the venue if playing with asshats will cripple you for life.
I doubt the guy near your date was gonna do anything. He was probably stupid and drunk but not suicidal.
It's fucked up that "consequences" to you is possibly killing somebody for their actions. You can kill someone with a blow to the face or head. You're fucking retarded dude.
Learn the hard way. See a therapist before you get killed, kill someone else, or imprisoned for most of your adult life
Edit: I'm not being harsh to be a combative asshole, I'm being harsh because you are literally committing felonies and trying to act like you're in the right, and trying to rationalize it all
Thehardpart 3y ago
I would walk away in a lot of these situations and sometimes I can't help but think I'm being a little bitch when I do so but it's cool that most people here are more rational than me about that. Jail's just not worth it. In all of the situations he named nothing that seemed like using violence was mandatory.
dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
Believe it or not we are still animals and our entire society is based on a hierarchy which is closely linked with our nervous system. See Jordan Peterson's infamous lobster lecture for reference.
You are probably right that I should have just left the game but its fucking hard when you get worked up after someone hitting you over and over again. That entire game was fucked up though, it was only a matter of time before someone hit someone out and a brawl erupted.
Where I grew up if you fronted another man by being aggressive or making a pass at his woman it was completely acceptable to get laid out and the moment you did something like that you accepted the risk of being assaulted. I know the west is extremely soft and the men here are basically women unless you are out in the country side but it's just frustrating to navigate such an effeminate society. Even the men can't accept consequences for their actions like you stated above, its almost as if its all women.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
It doesn't matter how you grew up, where you grew up, or what you believe.
Familiarize yourself with what's LEGAL. A court is not going to give a sh*t about the reasoning you have provided
It is absolutely jaw-dropping that none of your responses have any legal analysis or agreement that it is illegal
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mattyanon Admin 3y ago
No, you massively overreacted.
Never engage in unprovoked attacks on people. "He hit me for talking to a girl" is jailtime for you.
There's better ways to not being a bitch, eg telling the guy "she's with me".
dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
Honestly I feel like that's a pretty passive response to what was a pretty aggressive call out. That guy essentially is saying I can fuck your woman in front of you and you're too weak to do anything about it.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Jail is a better idea?
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dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
I have tried weed a few times but i get mixed results with it. Its either it calms me down and i get a great sleep or i get a panic attack where my heart starts beating really fast and my chest feels super tight. I just use it before bed usually once in a blue moon, dont want to end up like those permafried guys thay smoke it everyday.
SheLarror1234 3y ago
Bruh, why did you even make this post if you aren't even acknowledging the advice? Commenters are telling you facts, and your acting like that a threat as well.
You are acting feminine. Stop doing mental gymnastics to justify your overly aggressive behavior. You know its overly aggressive, that's why you had to make this post about controlling your aggression. Grow up and take accountability of those overly aggressive thoughts.
"" Recently i had a situation where i was on a first date with a tinder date and we were going for a walk and this short 5'5 manlet came and started hitting on my date (she wasn't reciprocating his advances). Anyways long story short he walked up to us which I am assuming was to escalate some physical contact and I just decked him in the face""
"also had an encounter a few months back at a pick up soccer game where i got fed up with a guy playing rough and just cross checked him in the face when he was running towards me"
I agree with the other posters, stop being an idiot and learn how to control your emotions.
I recommend meditating for long periods of time. Fight the anger / quick emotions inside of you. What your doing is NOT strong, but weak. Its easier to go with the flow and let those quick feelings take control. But its harder to fight that and be the better man. Your not impressing any women with your childish emotions anyways, but you are infact putting yourself at risk.
dirtymikeandtheboyz 3y ago
1) Who said i was intimidated ? If I went up to a UFC fighter and slapped his woman's ass he would fuck me up no questions asked. Is it because he is intimidated by me? No. Its just what happens when you get out of place.
2) Okay, so are you saying just let myself be disrespected and let it go? Turn the other cheek type of thing? How would you rationalize something like that to yourself?
The soccer guy was intentionally swiping at peoples ankles (imagine cleats going in sideways at the ankle joint by a 6'4 guy that's 230 lbs) cause he was a big guy and couldn't catch up to a lot of players. Kind of piece of shit thing to imo. My ankle has healed up nicely since the last time but I am in no rush to twist it a 4th time and generally I haven't had many issues even with a bit of rough play.
How would you do meditation ? I honestly have no idea what the end goal of it is or really understood it. Any books to recommend or techniques you tried?
SheLarror1234 3y ago
I'm not saying your justifications on why you hit the guys were wrong, but even a thief can tell you that he robbed someone to feed his family.
Do you get what i am trying to say? Yea the guy disrespected your girl, but they were at least 10 different ways you could have handled the situation better, but you choose the aggressive way
Using your example, you think the ufc fighter would have beat the crap out of dude right? But maybe the only thing the UFC fighter would have done is call the police and sued/charged the man for sexual assault. The UFC fighter knew he could have very well been sued for his riches if he striked the man, as he has much to lose being provoked by some strange guy. But lets be honest, that situation is unlikely to happen because before you even get close to the UFC fighter i bet you his armed security that he hired specifically for these moments would have already been in your face (prevention).
What i am saying is that your way is unwise, and unnecessarily dangerous. Yea its justified, just like everything else in the world is. But that does not mean your decision was the best. You inherently know this, and that's why your on TRP forum asking for tips to control your aggression
As for meditation, you meditate by sitting down, closing your eyes, while quieting everything. Try to stop thinking, stop moving, just breathing and sitting still with your eyes closed while trying to think about nothing.
Theres no techniques or positions. Just sitting down with your eyes closed and time.
Sitting still and doing nothing at all, is one of the hardest things to do on the planet. Why? Sit still and i guarantee you your mind and thoughts will be telling you "this is pointless" Or, "Theres no end goal".
Try to do this for 10mins
This is a mental exercise. The point of sitting still is to recognize and resist those thoughts and emotions that are telling you to get up and do something else. The thoughts and emotions that are telling you that you are in a uncomfortable position. The thoughts and emotions that are even thinking while you are trying to meditate and be quiet.
Basically what you end up doing is thinking about; thinking about nothing. Or thinking about nothing. This exercise when done frequently helps you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings when they pop up, and likewise helps you construct various decisions before you act upon one.
So next time, you may weigh in the pros and cons better, before you punch some guy. Yea the midget disrespected the girl you were with, but this girl was your first date, and she also was some strange girl from the internet. You didnt even know her but you risked going to jail and or getting shot by an angry midget (your life) for someone you didn't even know. Think better before acting.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
By the time you're 25 your prefrontal cortex will have finished developing and you'll have an easier time refraining. Maybe take up combat sports until then.