Someone else asked this question recently but i wanted to ask for my own specific situation. Im a 16m highschool. About 2 months into learning about TRP. I met this girl at a football game about a month ago. We hit it off pretty early and kinda became friends. Anyways she was really into me, so i figured "eh wth ill try and get some xp". Anyways long story short we've hung out alone a few time, and went out tonight to the park. The date started out pretty good, then turned stale, then got good at the end again because we ended up having to run away from something (long story). Anyways we held hands and got close, and have in the past as well, but we havent kissed, or fucked. My texting is pretty tight, and when we're with a group im good. But when we get alone the moment never really feels right, and I freeze up a little and run out of stuff to say (not too bad just gets to a point where i do less of the talking). I dont know if its too late and she already has a "hes just a friend" mindset, or if i should try again??
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
You 100% could have and should have kissed her that night you had to run away from something and got close like that. She was emotionally high and that was a perfect moment to do so.
She is going to put you in the just friends category soon if she hasn't already if you don't make a move. Chad would have already made a move.
Doesn't matter if you do less of the talking, women are addicted to talking and especially talking about themselves. You don't need to have a higher talk ratio than her anyway.
If a girl is getting close to you, you can go for the kiss easy.
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
yeah. It definatly was a good time... I left like right after we did that. we sat down quickly after and i looked over at her to go for it, and she didnt look back at that moment so i chickened out. She said it was really fun afterwards tho, and we got other stuff planned so ill go for it later if im not in the "friend" catagory yet.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
She might have been nervous or didn't want it to be "her fault", a form of ASD.
You'll just have to see, just don't get oneitis
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
Ay update: went to the park too look at the stars tonight, and we made out soo W lol
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Nice, keep it up man
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
I know this post is old but if i ask here i dont have to explain the situation... Whens too soon to try to meet up with this girl again? We're on break rn from school, and we said we'd meet up again before its done but idk if i should say lets meet up today or tommorrow. I would just go with tommorrow but today is friday and that will probobly work better then saturday. But i dont wanna go too soon either. Does it matter? Edit: also i cant get out very far, so we kinda just meet at the same spot if we hang out. Is that bad or does it not matter? I dont drive so i go to the park by my house and she comes to me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
If he's really enjoys being aroyyou, she will make it easy to hang out. I would say not too soon or too late is the best time to ask her, buy you already talked to her about meeting this weekend (so go with that).
Personally, I like to plan in advance if I'm not sure of a girl yet, rather than making plans for the same day I bring it up I'm biased toward asking her to hang tomorrow. But then again, I don't know her at all or what you two said to each other
I don't know if you're in high school or college, but I get younger you are, the less the place you see each other matters.
I just wouldn't over-use the park. it will be predictable and boring (low value) if you go too often, be your own judge of how much you've gone there and if it's starting to become too familiar to her
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
yeah we've been to the park 3 times alone and once with other people... But like we werent like dating then it was kinda just hanging out. It woulda been better if i escalated earlier looking back. Im gonna go check out this other place today, its just a little further then the park. Im in highschool as well, and im doing this all without my family knowing (my mom doesnt allow dating), so i dont have alot of options when it comes to places to meet. But i'll keep looking ig.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Yeah, I wouldn't over use the park. Hmm, suck that you wouldn't be able to bring her home with you. Is there anything closer to her house that you could do?
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
Idk where she lives but i dont think going to her house is an option cus shes got family there always, plus cameras. Its a 15 minute drive for her to the park as well. She likes me alot tho thats why shes willing to drive places. I went to that other spot too see if it would be a good place but i dont think it would work... Theres like this cool abandoned bridge but it doesnt seem like a good place. Its more like a 'bring your friends hang out' then 'bring a girl' ... It kinda sucks. I wanna get my license but my family cant afford the insurance of another driver... Im gonna talk to my mom about getting a job so i can see if i can help pay the insurance... Cus honestly if i could drive all these problems would be solved...
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
Hmm, I'm not sure what solutions there are to getting a good place to be in private.
But anyway, yes, I would get a job. that is a great step towards independence
Don't worry too much about things. You're still pretty young and found TRP way earlier than most of us.
You've got a lot of opportunities ahead of you
Hiram_abiff 4y ago
Thx man... Im not too worried about it cus i got options as far as girls go. But like i dont want to look boring.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
No problem, you've just got to be creative
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Think of kino escalation as a ladder. Generally you start off at the bottom step with a greeting; handshake or even a friendly hug. Sex is at the top.
You dont want to sperg out and go for a kiss if there is no sexual tension between the two of you. A way to help you calibrate and know when to for the kiss is to follow the ladder from the bottom, moving towards a kiss which is somewhere in the middle.
In this case you know the girl, are already holding hands sometimes etc, and it's even moving into the "this guy doesnt even know what he's doing, he's not escalating, so i might just LJBF him soon"-territory. So obviously, dont start off at the very bottom. But try to touch her as you are talking. It's vital that this is natural; that means no looking at your hand when you're touching her, and no nervous big-eyed stare. Dont linger with your hand on her awkwardly.
The idea is to get her used to you touching her in increasingly sexual fashion. Quick examples of kino:
You dont have to do all these things before going for a first kiss, but you can keep kino and where you are on the ladder with her, in mind.
Try again. Be confident. If she brushes off your kiss attempt dont react negatively, just continue the conversation, tease her and escalate again soon. And when you get past kissing, dont just grab her between the legs thinking thats the next step. Keep going from least intimate to most, e.g. arms, waist, neck, thighs, boobs, panties. Two steps forward, one back, is also a good principle to keep in mind.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Touching is good. Hand holding is a bit too lovey dovey. Touch her ribs, then hips, then legs, then squeeze her ass, optionally tits. In roughly that order. Basically touch a bit, then stop for a bit, then go a bit further, then stop.
She's waiting for you to do all this, but she won't give any clues about what she wants next. She'll complain if not happy, but not tell you what's acceptable and what's not. You find this out by gently/slowly physically escalating as described above.
Try again until it's not working
MOST IMPORTANTLY: be doing this with other girls too.
HexagonRexicon 4y ago
Dude you should have went for kiss after that date. Did y’all ever flirt in the past?
Shit or get off the pot, she’s prob waiting on you to make a move.