Confronted the Alpha in the group of family friends for getting touchy with my sister.
He’s 25 and is the leader of the group of 10 of us. I’m 19 and for the past couple years I’ve seen him do things with my sister I find uncomfortable. Most notable is one time we were all sitting down on the couch and he was acting playful with my sister, he ended up putting his hand on her thigh while I was sitting next to her. I was too beta to call him out on it.
There’s also another girl in the group a 16yo. With her he’s extremely flirty. They act like a couple, but they don’t act too sexual in front of everyone. It’s a group of family friends, we’ve all talked about how weird it is. What’s even weirder is his brother likes her too and frequently calls her at night, it shows he gets jealous when his brother (Alpha) is at gatherings instead of work, 16yo prefers older brother.
In the past I confronted my sister about it saying don’t play along when he hugs her from behind, but she still does, when I confront her It looks like she knows what’s happening and doesn’t do it the next time. She does it again today.
We went to a haunted house and he likes to tickle her back and asked to take a picture of just him and her. I don’t know if I acted out of weakness or if I’m enforcing boundaries, but when we got to the house I pulled him aside and told him to fuck off with my sister, and how she isn’t the other girl in the group. He laughed in my face, then I repeated myself. He laughed again and I shoved him telling him seriously to fuck off. Ended up saying bye to everyone while he stayed in the room staring on his phone. Didn’t tell anyone.
What’s going through my head is that my sister actually has attraction for him and I’m not with that. I don’t like when friends are involved with family similar to scar face situation if you’ve seen that movie.
Also I feel as though I needed to push myself so I don’t view myself as a beta. This is the first time I’ve really stood up for myself.
I don’t know what to do with my sister. I’m thinking it may still happen just behind my back, I’m mate guarding my sister as I can what his game is from afar. I don’t have a problem with my sister dating, just not with mutuals.
I’m thinking confronting her about it in the past may have been bad because she always gets emotional about it, denying everything. Then eventually agrees that it’s messed up. He’s taller than me and has a good job and wife, desirable by other woman. Hypergamy is why I believe she’s attracted. Should I even be putting up with this?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Dude just fuck your sister and get it over with. jk lol. She's obviously hot and attracting dudes. She's approaching her prime. Now would be a good time for her to leverage that to get a husband instead of pump and dumps from Chads.
Corneliuscaruso 4y ago
I think my problem is believing what my sister says at face value. Trp has made me swallow this big ass pill. She’s 2 years younger btw.
SheLarror1234 4y ago
If the guy can put his hand on her thigh in the manner you have your suspicions about, its safe to say he probably already smashed, or is planning/about to. Especially if they have known each other for a while. Your right, even if she says "no its not like that" your mistake would be believing her in the first place
This is why Id say don't associate yourself at all with your sisters and keep it stoic. You think you know them in all righteousness, but at the end of the day they are still the same females we talk about in red pill. Your going to have to deal with mate guarding and all types of BS. And in your case, even though its the better thing to do morally, eventually you will be seen as some controlling freak or something.
Your not wrong, its just that this is your sister and not someone you can enforce your boundary's on ~ like a girlfriend or child. They're not even going to listen or take you serious as they have nothing to gain by doing so anyways. Plus Its already been pretty obvious that they are smashing each other, or that she's interested in him. So in the end your just going to look bad
I've had similar situations and the best things to do is nothing. These are situations out of your control .Try to isolate yourself from your sisters affairs more. Your family is just family because you so happened to be born from the same blood, so in the end you must look at them as just regular females. Stop associating yourself and hanging with those "friends". And just keep it pushing.
Corneliuscaruso 4y ago
Yeah will do. Only problem is that all our parents are friends so we regularly see each other every other weekend.
Cutting ties is something I never would’ve thought of before because I’m close with most of them, but if he’s going to be in the group frequently I’ll just cut my losses. And hang out separately.
Escapethecity 4y ago
You're being a white knight, nothing you do will change how she feels about him. I'd honestly walk away and let her get hurt and don't comfort her when she comes crying to you... Give her the cold shoulder and tell her you did what you could but it's her responsibility.
Corneliuscaruso 4y ago
Yeah I figured in my head if I had a plate do the same thing it would be an easy next just annoying having this happen to the sister.
I’ve found in these situations when I stop giving her attention she follows me for validation that she’s doing the right thing.
It’s when I’m not around that it doesn’t exist. Right place right time situation. I want to speak sense into her but that just puts me in line with the rest of the guys that hope to speak sense into women. It just doesn’t work.
Truth has set me free but has brought other obstacles I never even thought of.
This is just me rambling to myself, lol having a weird time processing it all.
Scorpion69_ 4y ago
Thats the problem with having a sister. You know how girls work, and ur sister is a girl (im assuming lol)
Then u cant really do anything, just be careful that he doesnt rape or beat the shit out of her.
Although if she isnt in the legal age, u can get that guy in prison at the drop of a hat
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
I personally would not put up with this. Of course, it's not under your control what these people do, including your sister. But i think that beating around the bush, talking with the rest of the group about this casually going on infront of your face, is just making this behaviour increasingly socially acceptable in the group over time.
You need to first let go of your ego, stop drawing parallels to movies - it's destructive. Accept that your power is limited and prepare for bad outcomes so that they wont affect you if it does go that way.
I dont fully understand the setting, it sounds like a strange situation. But i think i would go the route of an open confrontation with him. I wouldnt be angry and invested in it. I would simply point out infront of everyone that what he's doing is creepy and unacceptable; he has a wife, these girls are 16 and 17 and are family friends of his. I would aim to get his confirmation in front of everyone that he stops with the strange behaviour. This should be enough, but it requires calibration and good frame on your end to make sure they dont take his side. If you're in doubt about this you might want to drop it completely so as not go get ostracized.
Corneliuscaruso 4y ago
Yeah i had to call him out because the 16yo girl has a brother who lets it happen in front of him. You can see how he feels about it in the face.
I used to be cool with the 25yo but by him doing that in front of me it shows he doesn’t have any respect towards me. So I’m just cutting my losses and hanging out with them less. I am getting ostracized a bit because of my new rp behavior, not the goofy person they can pick on whenever anymore .
I_respect_females 4y ago
Don't save her she don't wanna be saved...