Have a girl from work chasing me.
I dont shit where i eat, which is a shame as shes hot af.
I dont work directly with her but she has been assigned under me for a smallish admin duty on a daily basis so i will be exchanging emails with her on a daily basis.
She has added me on insta, send nudes and gotten my number from a mutual friend and is now whatsapping me. She is laying the usual crumbs and is probably used to getting what she wants and to be honest if we didnt work together id already be balls deep.
I ignore her most of her texts (she is now triple texting) and only answer very basic in a friendly boring manner but definitely not showing interest. Of course the more i ignore her the more she pursues.
I have to remain on friendly terms. I also dont wanna turn up the beta to put her off me as itll get around work.
Do you recon im taking the right approach or need to spell it out in not interested?
hannulv 4y ago
Don't go "scorn" harsh. Tell her that you think she's lovely and you would love to get to know her better, but that you don't date people from work. Tell her that she needs to stop contacting you outside of work. Send a followup email indicating that you had a conversation on X date and that you had a discussion and she agreed to stop contacting you personally outside of work. Let her know the email was a formality because you're a boss. Put a printout of the email in a file with all the texts.
If she continues, file it with H.R. Don't warn her.
Iliketoast 4y ago
Thanks man. I didnt wanna poke the bear and tell her im not interested as shed probs blow up through ego. Instead ive just said i have a flat out rule that i dont mix with coworkers and shes backed off.
nightlyphoenixx 4y ago
Why aren't you laying her? I don't get this "I don't sh*t where I eat". You fancy her? Good, go get her. You're a man, you go after what you want. Fuck rules.
Iliketoast 4y ago
Work relationships hardly ever work and then you have to see them every day. Laying her is a short term reward that doesnt outweight the inevitability of something going tits up and having to see them. Also not worth the risk and i like to keep parts of my life private and separate from work. Women are nuts and shes already showing red flags.
Also I have worked shitty retail jobs in my younger days and went through plenty of colleagues there. This is a career job so strictly not shitting where i eat but agree it shouldnt be an absolute. I actually recommend young dudes in shit jobs clean up at work, its too easy.
nightlyphoenixx 4y ago
Fair enough. You sound like you have your head screwed on, good on you. I agree that a career job is a different story, especially if you've already seen red flags. Do you need to text for work? If not, then I would tell her face to face, with as much authoritative voice as you can: "Stop contacting me, this is not going to happen. I don't go out with people I work with", and if she doesn't back off, block her (assuming you don't need texting for work).
LimpJongUn 4y ago
He’s her superior. It’s at work, a place he depends on for income. HR is fucked and often sides with the woman. 4billion other pussies out there. Why risk it?
thermodynamic 4y ago
the best one is when you run your own company. you are the HR lol
LimpJongUn 4y ago
Shit pimps had this figured out all along!
pfeilmacher 4y ago
Tell her flat out "I don't date colleagues."
If she quits, fuck her brains out.
Scorpion69_ 4y ago
Im boldly assuming u dont want to potentially lose ur job.
Abundance mentality. Keep doing what ur doing.
Shes hot, and? 9999999999 hot girls out there
ThrowawayJoe 4y ago
Looks like she's trying to fuck her way up the corporate ladder, but of course you already know this. It sucks that you can't smash, but remember, if the positions were reversed it would be sexual harassment. Confront her through text about it, say "Your behavior is unprofessional and inappropriate. Above all, by sending me these messages I take it as a sign of disrespect for my position. If you continue, I will have to confront upper management about your actions." She'll go fucking crazy, but it'll probably stop after that. Never be alone with her, ever. When you confront your boss (do this through email) ask for her to be transferred out of your care or tell him you're not comfortable with what's going on. If he tries to belittle you for not being grateful for getting nude messages from a hot co-worker, seek a lawyer and have him counsel you on how to go further, some lawyers offer free first counseling. Save all her and your bosses messages and build a paper trail, so if anything ever snow balls into a legal case you've got proof from the start and your lawyer has something to stand on. If your job is ever threatened by #metoo or your boss tries to retaliate(he'd have to be a real asshole, but most bosses are), you can sue both for defamation, wrongful termination, sexual harassment, etc. etc. If she still harasses you after your boss transfers her out but she still works at the same company, you should look into filing a restraining order.
Edit: now that I think about it, it's possible that by ignoring she'll lay off after a while. But it'll take a LONG time. Weeks, months, and up to maybe a year, in fact.