We were in 2 year ltr and I cheated on her after 1 year then we broke up in summer and both fucked other people when we were on break.
After summer we got back together and then after one year we break up again in summer because we had an argument my fault. I went to fucked over 15 girls and she fucked ”2 guys” BS.
After this we have not got back together but stayed in FWB with her and I was beta and I tried to get her to LTR but she declined. Month pass she says I just booked trip to Malta with 2 of my friends and it is so spontanious trip. (Ofcourse she fucks there) She says she didn’t see anyone after she declined LTR. (No I didnt ask have you seen other guys after you declined) it was just timeframe for reader.
She came back from there week ago and says to me after I wake up to get to work that she loves me twice but I dont say anything back and leave to work.
Then yesterday I got idea to surprise her without saying to her that I am going to her place because she is sick. so when I go there her mom opens and she knows that we have broken up and is positive to me just asks how you have been…
I go to her room and she smiles and says why you came here? I am sick I dont want you to be here. We talk for a bit then
I SAY to her (NOT SHE) that we should take a break and we talk for a bit (30 min)then I leave. She said that I will see other girls like this summer on this break (she found out and was disgusted how I talked sexually with them)
I did this because I want her to respect me more and raise her interest and then maybe she will offer me ltr.
What I should do now? It was very hard to hold frame when I said we need break. I literally started crying when I was alone. I really want to be in LTR with her.
My current situation is I am 20, work in SaaS Sales as an SDR Mon-Fri from 8am to 5pm. Lift 5-6times a week heavy weights. She is 20 and she is my ONEITIS I know this. I am RP for 3 years
Thing is that I have never seen advice on RP that any guy says to girl we need break its always girl who says that we need break.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
You both have issues and from this limited amount of information available, a LTR seems implausible. You're both young as well, think of your life a few years into the future and visualize it with this woman and without her. She's your oneitis and that's bad, I swear to god there are other if not better women than her. She has already declined your LTR once, this should be a wake up call. As soon as she steps over your fingers, that should be a warning. Why are you so insecure? Why do you think she will fuck at Malta? You seem to have your life view all mixed up; you're not supposed to be in her life, she's supposed to be in yours. She gives you enough reasons to not be in it, you cut the negative energy off. It's simple. If someone in my circle expresses negativity or makes me feel negative, I ask what the fuck's up and if they're not important, I cut them off. Friends and family are supposed to be here to build you up, not pull you down. Is this woman building you up or pulling you down? Are you building her up or pulling her down? You both seem to broken clocks.
My advice: keep grinding, keep hustling, try to further your career and build your mind, enjoy life.
Gluezuzz 4y ago
I understand where you are coming from but the thing is I only want to be with her in LTR.
So what are action steps to get in to LTR with her?
And thanks for long advice it really means a lot.
itsentirelypossible 4y ago
So she knows you have fucked multiple other women while on your "break" from her. You know that she has fucked other guys as well. This is a really big red flag, you're both childish. If you both truly had actual love for each other, this would've never even happened. In your situation, the next time when I'd meet her, I'd put everything on the table. Talk about all deep shit, about the relationship, honestly about all the women, honestly about everything. If she doesn't return the honesty, if she doesn't express mutual feelings, it sounds bad. Make clear to her what she is to you, but also make extremely clear that if she abuses the connection that you have to her, you won't have none of it. So set clear boundaries and stick to them. And no, I don't see this as dropping your frame, I see this as a normal human interaction. This is what you probably deeply want. If you do this and you allow her to step over you, then you've lost your frame.
You have to completely change your view on sex, in my opinion. I am saying this because I have. TRP taught me a few years ago what sex is in today's society, it's a transaction. It should not be that, it should be personal, intimate and done between two loving people. Sex, when you feel something towards the other person, is completely different. I have very limited experience on this though, but this is how I view it. You may have a different outlook since you have slept with so many women.
PaidThaCost 4y ago
The thing is she is another person, with her own wants, and you do not control her. Basing your happiness on things you cannot control is a recipe for pain and suffering. It seems like she has seen the best of you (for now) and she feels she deserves more.
Maybe there is another guy on the scene who she thinks is a better all round package, maybe her friends have boyfriends better than you, maybe her friends are dating multiple guys and that's their idea of fun, who knows?. Accept it and move on. The only way you can get her is to 1) not be desperate for her and 2) raise your SMV a few levels - both within your control.
LudgerKresnik 4y ago
we have the same situation 3years ago even i fucked alot of girls that time i still have oneitis with my 8months LTR we broke up like the way you do.
we became FWB but she don't like to commit anymore(i think we know why) so i tried everything to bring her back to be my LTR even tho i know she's riding other dicks.
after awhile i show her i had alot of option one day she came to my house banging other chicks then she left crying. short story i successful dread her to be lock as my LTR again i thought after that i will gain the power in our relationship and she will respect me more but no, nothing changed maybe for the first 1-2months but she will slowly fade she will test your masculinity again, she will start to argue again with a small things, she will start to shit test you again etc.. she missed the single life when she can ride other dick everytime she want.
till now she is the most beautiful round ass i banged for my entire life but i will tell you the juice is not worth the squeez the effort / the time / the mental damage she did / the shit test almost everyday that you need to pass will make you drained.
[deleted] 4y ago
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SeasonedRP 2 4y ago
I'm not sure what you're taking a break from since she declined an LTR. First, the girl should ask you for an LTR, you shouldn't ask her. You need to read the sidebar on the main sub and talk to other girls, and keep your distance from this one.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Maybe you should go study Buddhism and the four noble truths. You are attached to her. It's causing you to suffer. Stop being attached. It's probably the reason the relationship failed. Put yourself first. If she comes along, great. If not, her loss. There are 4 billion women on the planet.
johnnysmallseed 4y ago
Reality check. You get caught cheating. It's over. Move on. You can probably get away with it if you have a big dick, status, and money, but average joe isn't going to make that go away. It's over. Unless you want a miserable marriage with her. Go for it. But Consequences exist for both sexes, be accountable to your actions. Exit now.