I need some advice on how to focus on myself to improve myself. It's a long story so heres the condensed version: Grew up in a single parent household where my mother would blame everything negative on me. 25 years later I discover TRP and tried to implement changes in my life. Two years later I start seeing a therapist because #depression. I explained to him that I see myself in the 3rd person a lot which prevents me from getting to know people on a deeper level, I cannot process others emotions towards me properly (like I dont feel like my family/friends love me even though I know they do, it just feels awkward when they try to express emotions towards me), and that I cannot focus on improving myself unless I have a significant other (when I'm single I just drift through life, though when I'm in a relationship I hit the gym frequently, I do better at work, etc). He explained to me that due to my abusive childhood my sense of self isn't there and that I get a purpose from having that other person around. If anyone has ever overcome something like this or has be able to find their purpose without the need for anyone in their lives to give them that drive, can you please give me some advice on how to achieve that. Specifically with going to the gym, I find it so foregin to wanting to improve when I have no one to show any improvements to. I want to find my own sense of purpose
READ THE SIDEBAR BEFORE POSTING!
Created by bambinosupremo
Ask questions related to TRP, dating, life advice.
Women are not allowed to post here. This is a male-only tribe. Women may post in WAATGM and trp.red side of the site.
Original Reddit Red Pill sub (quarantine bypass) that contains the full original sidebar
whytehorse2021 4y ago
This is the classic slave that left the plantation. The Neo pulled out of the matrix. You just have to go over your life and replay everything from your new frame of reference and see where you were blindsided. It takes a while and your therapist can possibly help. Then you go undo the BS in your mind.
bjjneck 4y ago
First of all stop labeling yourself. "I had childhood trauma, I'm depressed." maybe you did/do but what does it matter.
second of all you got to start small, really small. Literally drive to the gym and drive home. Then drive to the gym and walk inside then drive home. Then go to the gym do one set of bicep curls and drive home. Keep doing small steps.
No one expects you to go to the gym and deadlift 500lbs your first day. No one even cares.
Corneliuscaruso 4y ago
I used to feel that way about the gym. After the 10th time going is when I started to like the feeling of increasing the weight every other week, then it was being able to do the exercise with good form, then it was finding exercises that are more enjoyable (incline press). I got the physique I wanted so now I just do 150 push-ups a day. Saving for a mma gym membership.
For your clinginess, try finding purpose in your own pursuits. I offered a girl I had oneitis for a trip to the mountains and she flaked on me. I was filled with emotion. After taking trp, I realized I can’t rely on someone to be the focus of my life. I go to the mountains to hike now, not to date.
johnnysmallseed 4y ago
You have to have a fire in you to want something in life to want to succeed. A goal, and an idol can help. This is why stories are so popular. What stories or movies do you like or gravitate towards? It might be a good hint to what you want in life. Please don't say LOTR.
BabyUareSoSexy 4y ago
Stop blaming others. Only YOU can make yourself happy. Take small steps. Read the book 'Atomic habit's.