Disclaimer: Yes, I am retarded. I'm 19 in an LTR for 3 years with a reformed slut who's about to be 21. I am on my mission, have a really good physique, and the only reason I wrote this post is because I want to break up with her if she is an Alpha Widow, not because I am scared to lose her.

TLDR - LTR brought up a previous fling a few times early on, and once said she had fond memories of him 6 months into us dating(this happened 2.5 years ago), then immediately took back the comment when I responded by saying I’m done with her, and never mentioned him again. Has been pretty good to me otherwise for 3 years and doesn't really treat me like an alpha widow. Even if she was an alpha widow she never cheated on me or contacted him so maybe it doesn't matter. So is she an alpha widow or was it just a shit test?

Made some mistakes in the beginning since I was inexperienced and didn't fully understand RP, like committing before getting sexual and waiting too long for sex. She's supposedly kind of inexperienced.

I'm 99% sure she's been loyal, both initiate,does whatever I want sexually, besides another girl (working on that one lol), cooks/cleans, respects/supports me, calls me hot/sexy/handsome/cute, says I am the most attractive guy she's ever been with, always says she's in love and I'm her soulmate, says she wants to have my children, no guy friends,no slut friends, no parties or clubbing, very occasional drinking and smoking weed around me or family and never gets trashed,is scared to lose me,gives me all Alpha Tells. I'd say we're pretty looks matched, most guys rate her between a 7-10, I say she's like a 7.5.

I've been thinking back and realized I may have missed something though. The story is hers, she could be lying, it's stayed consistent when I asked her about it so let's just assume it's true for discussion.

Basically when she was 15 she met a guitarist on a cruise who was about 30(daddy issues) . They stayed in contact on text and email, they would talk a lot and she said she mainly thought of him as a friend and someone to talk to. She said the first time they hung out they madeout, the second time which was about a year later they hung out again they madeout and he sucked her boobs and she said she may have rubbed his pants. She says she's the one who broke it off with him over text, and remembers feeling disgusted by the whole thing.

She said she once made a joke or asked him about having sex with her when they hung out, and she said she once texted him a message implying she would bring a friend for him to have a FFM threesome(saw him as high SMV?) . She says she never had any intention of actually doing either, nor did she ever set up a threesome or tell the friend about him, she says she just said crazy things to get a reaction because she was immature (a slut) back then. She never offered me a FFM, so that makes me think she was more attracted to him maybe? Idk. Or maybe she was just stringing him along as an orbiter with promises of wild sex. Who knows.

Anyways, a long time before I seriously talked to her, she showed me his YT channel in a class we had together. I think she may have showed me again very early on into when we started talking for real, which was many months later, not sure if I had even kissed her yet. She said she only showed me those videos to try and relate to me, I play guitar as well.(so relatable to show me someone who sucked your boobs right, fucking women bro). After we were together, I think she mentioned him once, maybe twice. Once earlier on, maybe a week or two in, and once after we had gotten sexual, maybe 3 months in, not sure if the second one even happened or if I'm just remembering wrong, let's just say worst case scenario it did. Both times it was when I asked her who showed her certain music, she would say "this guy I met on a cruise." It seems like he was on her mind to an extent.

About 6 months in I think, at this point we were having sex everyday , had said ILY, and she had bought me things. We were on the phone and talking about our pasts. The topic moved to him, and she said "I could tell by the way he was looking at me he liked me" she also said she had "fond memories of that time/him". I lowered his SMV in her eyes by saying "what kind of 30 year old needs to prey on a 15 year old" and asked her if she still has "fond memories" and she said yes, so I hung up and said we're done and to go be with him.

After I hung up we text and I think I said I don't really want to be done but need an explanation and she texts she didn't mean that and wants to explain. She called again and explains she didn't know wtf she is saying and used the wrong choice of words and doesn't have fond memories, she said something along the lines of she just meant they ended on good terms, and in her words didn't say "fuck you bye" and said that back then she thought of him as a friend and someone to talk to (orbiter?), but she is obviously disgusted and sees him as a predator now and only wants me. She says she already knew it was gross but realized even more how bad the whole thing was when she met me. I'm pretty sure I never heard about him again after that, and she said she was never thinking of him while with me and she never checked his socials or contacted him while with me, which I think I believe.

So I kind of just forgot about this whole thing since she treats me pretty good, but now thinking back I realized she may be an alpha widow, but some of the things also sound like he was more an orbiter to her than anything. Her behavior has mostly shown she is completely into me though, and if her story is true I've gotten way more from her than this dude did, besides the FFM text, so maybe it really was just the wrong choice of words or something when she said she had fond memories. She's been loyal and never really given me an issue besides this so am I just overthinking the situation? Was it just shit tests when she brought him up? Or something deeper? I just feel like she wanted to lock him down and never could because of the age gap and him being a traveling musician, and she was more attracted to him than me, but at the same time she is the one who ended things with him and treats me pretty good so maybe not. Thanks, I know that was long af.