I’m in an LTR and I’ve been reading the ‘6 Stages of Breaking Up’ - https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4mt89q/the_6_stages_of_breaking_up_a_guide_to_not_having/
And I’m pretty sure I’m at Stage Two: Overt Shit Testing
There is a loss of attraction. When we see each other in person, her sex drive isn't the same as it was. She tries to get me to do stuff for her a lot more, she shit tested me once that I'm 'not very good with words'.
It's more obvious when we are apart though - her messages fluctuate from her normal self to sudden bluntness and she initiates a lot less, no sexting anymore, and the other day we spent over 24 hours without conversing which is very odd. Anyway, I have a gut feeling a break-up could be on the cards soon, but I’m seeing what can be done.
I think I’ve always applied a healthy amount of dread in the relationship up until now, but it seems to not be working the same anymore, as other mistakes I’ve made have led to this point.
I have an active social life, female friends, I don’t make myself too available to her – I’ve often had to turn down plans with her when I’m busy etc. and I don’t always stay over at her house when we meet.
Career-wise things are not good currently. I am looking for new jobs as my previous work fell through so I think she looks down on me for keep failing at opportunities.
I am starting to lift (I know I should have been doing that anyway) and trying to get a new job.
Question: how can I demonstrate to her that I have other options/other women find me attractive? I have a couple of female friends (both are in relationships, though) that I know have a soft-spot for me - when they have been drunk they have basically confessed they fancy me and said would go for me if we were single.
Is there a way to hint at this without looking like I'm trying to make her jealous?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Finger in the ass and hair pulling worked for me. You went beta somewhere and need to re-establish frame by asserting dominance.
[deleted] 4y ago
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hannulv 4y ago
LTRs are hardmode. She is over your weak, jobless ass. Winning her back will be 100 times more difficult than getting someone new. She no longer views you as her best option. Just next her.
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
If she does that is she still LTR material to you?
You may pass this round but do you think it wont repeat in the future?
You have the power to not let this get to you. You recognized that you should be focusing on your career and health first. Do that and let things run its course. If she doesnt give you attention, leave her be. When you say you've rarely gone past 24 hrs without contact, it sounds like you're still very available to her.
Guyandtheroadtovictory 4y ago
Yo man,
I see only one question. When you will have your thing back (as a job, hustles etc.)?
Career-wise things are not good currently.
In my opinion, this is the case. Nowadays it is mandatory to get different sources of income - that some say "FU money", without it, it is very easy for girl to loose interest, because of hypergamy and social conditioned, programmed thinking. For example, I am now working, studying courses and bringing side hustles to work in my favor in the future - youtube, blogging, marketing, consultations (business, accounting etc) - trying them all to get out of the slavery. Girls are great, but if you are in deep butt, focus on working your butt off not "what shee will think", because you got bills to pay and earn your future. If she will leave you, because of you are "jobless"- does it will matter if she is jealous or that you have options? Focus on priorities, for god sake, it is your live or you are living for one girl who looses interest when you are down? What she brings on table - beauty or home-made cooked food? If second option, then you should hard grind and hope that women for you will stay and understand - if no, you are lucky that it disappeared without consequences.
I understand, it is hard to look on yourself, but you are the king of your life, you are the warrior of your way ,magician of your destiny and lover of people who appreciate your efforts.
I am starting to lift
This is great, proceed tiger, let the pain and struggle work in your favor - gains.
be strong,
Semenbaptism 4y ago
You're losing in her eyes. AWALT, when you're winning, a woman will be by your side 100% of the time. When you're losing, she's not going to be anywhere to be found.
Job loss is usually followed with a breakup. Been there, done that twice.
Jealously ain't gonna work at this stage. You're going to have to go nuclear. Tell her "All this free time has got me thinking... thinking about us. I just don't really see a future with us." Don't tell her what it means, don't tell her what you think, don't argue.
dxmt 4y ago
Yeah fair enough, I get that
Ok, just to clarify by 'go nuclear' you think I should initiate the breakup?