So long story short i broke up with my ltr (a solid 8) at the beginning of the summer and now im back on dating apps. Ive been on 8 first dates 2 of which ended up in a one night stand and with the rest more of less ending up with me being ghosted. Some of these girls were 6s or 7s which used to be lay ups for me and now are ghosting me. I am a 29 year guy working in stem, about 6'1 and 185 lbs @18% bodyfat (just started working out again after lockdowns) and making around low six figures (ive been told im about a 7.5 looks wise).
Last date i went on was with this pretty fit 26 year old, met at a coffee shop and conversation flowed really well. We then moved to an open door area in the city im in where we sat down on a bench. She sat really close to me and the conversation went well pretty much the entire time. I pussed out and didnt escalate kino. She ended the date with a hug.
So whats going on ? Is my smv too low for these girls? Am i being a pussy with the kino? Why will some of them give me a ONS and try to ltr me and the others go cold after the first date.
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chickengod 4y ago
Couldn't have said it better myself man. I'm a freshman at a huge college, have made out with 3 girls so far in the first 2 months, but just had my first date this past week. I didn't hug her when we met up, I did do standard kino throughout the night (arm around her, hand on thigh, etc) but I pussied out and didn't go for the kiss. Lo and behold, the next day I invite her out somewhere and get a text that she's "not in the right state of mind for a relationship."
Any tips on how to go in for the kiss? I think I didn't go partially because I didn't get many IOIs from her, but I'm also super inexperienced so she totally could've been into me and I just missed it. Each of the girls I've kissed so far I haven't really made the first move. I think my fear is that I will go in, get rejected, and then it'll be super awkard.
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dirtymikeandtheboyz 4y ago
Yeh i think you hit the nail on the head, im having some pretty big confidence issues as of late due to my relationship imploding and work becoming extra stressful. I need to sack up and go for it. Is there any way to salvage this ? Or is it on to the next one ?
Is there a way to increase smv to the point where i dont even have to initiate with the hotter ones?
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dirtymikeandtheboyz 4y ago
Yeh looking back on it i have missed a bunch of signals over the last few dates. I have to get better locations, I always find it awkward af if you are walking and there is a bunch of people while you are trying to make out with a chick in the middle of the day. Also once or twice I drove them back to their place but they darted out of the car pretty quick aside from one (another missed signal porobably). Probably best to escalate before you get to the car I am thinking.
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dirtymikeandtheboyz 4y ago
I think the combination of the extreme work load recently and the collapse of the relationship that I thought was going to go the distance put me in a bit of a depression. Anyways thats not really a trp issue and il figure that out on my own.
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johnnysmallseed 4y ago
The only advice I can give you is: Don't listen to NeoSpartan. He's a blue pilled man with zero reputation in this community. I wouldn't trust a word he says. He's liable to lead you astray.
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johnnysmallseed 4y ago
If that Copernicus analogy worked we'd be subscribed to your patreon. Unfortunately, and statistically speaking, you are more than likely another deluded man who thinks he's right and everybody else is wrong. No offense intended Neo but your advice to text right away, and movie dates is blue pill 101.
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un_knownguy 4y ago
One thing a lot of this guys failed to comment on here, it's not that your SMV is too low, is that dating apps have made it so that it's almost impossible to keep a conversation with a woman because they have many options, you should expect they're going to flake, for example I have a chick that I'll see next week, but I have other 7 already set up for next week, I know most likely 3 or 4 will flake, so I'll cancel two and end up going out with one, this is how I handle it since girls will keep flaking
dirtymikeandtheboyz 4y ago
ive never had any girl flake on me from the dating apps. It's just after the first date thats been the issue for me. Il try out neospartans advice and see how it goes.
RPEsq 4y ago
You need to take these women on dates that make it easy for you to make physicality a factor
You know that’s what’s divebombing your game, stop swimming upstream.