Long story short, i’ve owned BTC since 2012. She knows i dabble into it but i’ve never told her how much. Marriage is on the table, i want to protect myself. In this county, divirce rape is hard and the only way to lose pre-marital assets is if the courts believe you “made them available” in the marriage. Vague enough that people tend to hide it im told.
So she pressures me at times to ask what i own and my finances. She reveals everything without asking as some kind of leverage i suppose. Its always boiling down to “do you own more than 1 BTC or less? I dont answer.
Im worried about if i get married obviously. Should i just lie and say i have 0.1 or some small amount or something? The way i see it is when i start spending money and build my own business next, and have money coming in(im basically retired if i want, i just live frugally) she going to ask and im worried how do i make this not “available in the marriage” and separate?
I just believe its awful to share finances and be open about them for a relationship. Keep it private and separate till it matters.
PaidThaCost 5y ago
Women change after marriage as power shifts. Why not try a prenup? If she refuses then keep the status quo.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 5y ago
First, don't get married. Why? Explain the benefit to you?
Second, if you live in the US, if you get married you can try to hide money, etc. If she eventually wants to hire a good lawyer and divorce you, they'll find that money, trust me. And, if you try to hide it on a legal divorce discovery proceeding, you will be screwed further by the court and lose all leeway with them. ie, you will be viewed as dishonest,etc.
Why get married? Note: I did when I was young and foolish. I wish I had the resources of the Internet available back then. I didn't, I was on my own.
Now, some will talk here about pre-nups. Pre-nups can be challenged, most things can. The legal system in the US is whatever you can get away with. If you have much more money than her, or expect to make much more money than her moving forward. Getting married is all a risk on your part, NONE On her. She will get 1/2 of what you own and may get alimony/palimony on top.
whytehorse2021 5y ago
I don't think my wife has ever asked about money in the 17 years we've been married. Keep is safe, keep it secret.
johnnysmallseed 5y ago
RP 101. Never, EVER, tell a woman your finances. Let her see how you live and if she has any questions about it ignore it. It's none of her business. Find a way to use humor to disarm her questions.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 5y ago
agree with you in general. But, if he's talking about marriage. They have to discuss and if you look at my comment. I'd recommend not to get married, especially if he's at a much higher earnings/wealth state than her.
Drainstink 5y ago
Just be clear, i’d never marry in a different country. Here its relatively safe. Its just this little issue which is a potential problem i dont want to handle incorrectly.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 5y ago
Here its relatively safe? country? In US, it is NOT safe by any means.
KirthWGersen 5y ago
Remember this: where you get married doesn't matter. Where you get divorced is the important thing. You could get married in, say Italy, then your wife goes to do a master's degree in England. She files for divorce there after 6 months and gets half of your worldwide assets.
21543546ea 5y ago
Fuck man, I probably wouldn’t tell my future wife if I had a bitcoin ( or two). I’m also heavily into crypto and personally would never tell anyone about it except parents
SheLarror1234 5y ago
You are correct. I would actually not marry this girl though.
Think about it. What compels anyone to ask "do you own more than 1 BTC or less?" TBH the right thing to do is actually be HIGHLY suspicious of anyone who really is pushing to know how much money you have. Its a very beta and simp new world thinking to think you and your partners finances are connected and should be discussed in ANY WAY. Which king or anyone with money would do this? In what reality is it acceptable to tell this to a person who statistically and biologically, is impulse and incentivized to hinder you? Redpill and female nature aside, logically its a really, really bad decision and even you know it is, otherwise you would not be here asking for second opinions. It is not even safe to discuss your finances with your family. They call it the root of evil for a reason.
Act broke/frugal and see how these girls treat you and then see if you still want to be married. Say you own a very little amount that's why you thought its not a big deal. And i bet you will be back on this sub in less than 5 months lol.
And fyi you keeping this secrecy is like a sort of kino for this "girl". Wake up lol. Same reason women love attention. Lets see her behavior once her circus show is finished.
Honestly marriage is the top 5 worst things you can ever do in modern society, everywhere.
Drainstink 5y ago
She thought i was broke for years. So she passed that test. If i were not in this country that makes marriage divorce rape hard then id never consider it. But i’ll get my Visa guaranteed easily if i do. She just saw my trading view a few times and i have BTC open. So shes asked a few times. Ideally i’d never have told her but it becomes harder to explain why i dont have to work over time if you say nothing. I admit i do wonder how i am meant to explain why i dont work and why i have more money over time? And here i am. Do i say i own practically nothing and commit to “i own 0.1btc” or keep it all unknown?
SheLarror1234 5y ago
keep it unknown. Even if she finds out by chance just keep it unknown. Forever. I don't know what situation or country you are in or what type of marriage laws you have over there, but lets omit that for now.
Like said its good kino and it creates a very strong frame and sense of mystique when you don't let people know you completely. And plus, money does not last forever. You dont want her expectations to be blown some time down the line. So dont give her any. Especially if this is long term anything. Keep her curious and just use the mystery to your advantage when she asks you stuff about it. Her not knowing is 100% a good thing. Keeps her in her mind about you and even protects you in many ways down the line when things get rough.
You can use this to sound wise as heck or as cool as you want it to. ("We may have our ups and downs but im the type of person who will always find a way"") Type of stuff. Heck, it increases your frame automatically when you are in on something she is not in on. Especially when it comes to money, if she gets a clue overtime she might never leave you because she wont ever truly know just what she will be missing if she Fs up.
But im telling you its no benefit to letting her know. And mentally she doesn't really care to know.
Its a thing to want to flex and reveal yourself. But it ends up being like how men get friendzoned because we forget to be alpha to our crush, but instead act as if the person we want to lay with is our best friend, or by acting too nice. Some things in life you just have to keep separate
Drainstink 5y ago
I agree with everything you said and thats how i’ve been playing it so far. I just kinda get worried about her “knowing” i have assets. I would never say i have lots, but i am tempted to say i own little just to protect myself. The probing is annoying sometimes too. However, like you said, from a relationship dynamic its better to not say either way. Im thinking more about possible ways it could be taken, but i’ll just ask a lawyer i guess.
That said, i did struggle to “explain” why i dont have to work much. From her end it looks like i live on savings and waste time doing a small business just for fun. Quickly became an elephant in the room how i support myself and why i dont need to work. I never wanted to reveal how, so i just said “i have enough income, and its going well” and left it at that. Do you think that was a good way to handle it?
SheLarror1234 5y ago
Yea you have the right mindset. that's what i would do.
And tbh all of us end up being the elephant in the room anyways. This is a good thing IMO. Your advantage comes with your mystique. And to be fair, your worries of her seeing you as ~ ""living on savings and wasting time doing a small business just for fun."" could be all in your head. Since you have the frame and mystique, you can essentially change how she sees your work by just boosting yourself when time presents itself. Saying stuff that you know she will eat up and add to your persona.
The only thing i would worry about is her knowing to much because eventually she will feel cheated or something when she realizes you are not working and are very well off, but she is still struggling and/or working. This is what most of the leeches do here at least. So make sure your occupied and that you have boundaries and frame set clear. Tell her that you are always busy and make sure to spend more time by yourself than with her. All the typical redpill ideologies. Also, legally if you are married or even if your living with a person for a time you can very well be messed up if you disclose any type of assets. This is not a righteous place either so disclosing your funds just puts a target on your back.
When you start making money independently, the game becomes completely different. Like i said, -- ""its kind of like how men get friendzoned because we forget to be alpha to our crush, but instead act as if the person we want to lay with is our best friend, or by acting too nice. Some things in life you just have to keep separate"" When it comes to money and people, be careful, even if you have to isolate yourself to create those boundary's. (especially if you are unknowingly living on a higher standard of living as her).
Even the most chad in the room becomes a financial provider in a women's eyes when they know you have independent money. Not saying she will see you as weak, but she will definitely be expecting something. The game becomes how to keep her expecting by giving her the least.
Drainstink 5y ago
“ Even the most chad in the room becomes a financial provider in a women's eyes when they know you have independent money. Not saying she will see you as weak, but she will definitely be expecting something. The game becomes how to keep her expecting by giving her the least.”
This is probably the biggest challenge. Im still unsure how im going to maintain this dynamic as i become less and less frugal and the time is right and i want to spend on more expensive stuff. Its hard. She’ll probably feel cheated if i do it wrong too. Shes well off on her own but still.
I guess a good way may be to just say “my business is going well” and not elaborate. But then she’ll probably want to see my business and i cant really hide that lol, well maybe i can make it look better than it is. Or if my money becomes enough so i want to live somewhere nice, how can i realistically keep the details mysterious? Its hard. Maybe i have to just say a mixture of business and investment and keep details sparse. If she sees a steady increase in living standards from me im sure a simple “enough if i dont spend it on stupid bullshit” will be enough. Shes not a gold digger as said. Thought i was poor for years. I think her curiosity is more about ensured stability together.
SheLarror1234 5y ago
Welcome to the game lol. Yup, this is where boundary's come into play.
Make the game too easy, and the reward (you) gets taken until there is nothing left. You need to create obstacles (boundary's) so that by the time she gets the prize she will be happy to get a glass of water.
This is why most men say living with a women/partner is a BAD decision at any point of life. Remember, YOU OWE HER NOTHING. So don't sweat about the moral implications of her feeling cheated and whatnot.
Also, it depends on what you've been telling and doing to this chick so far. If you are telling her your in a business or that your working but clearly are not, its up to you to make sure that you are, or she probably will be pissed off about your lies. If your investing with nothing to do, then DO something. Build off of what you are already doing. Create some social channels, get some chart and TA action on some screens and you wont really have to lie when she is really seriously concerned about your "business" because at that point you can just say you work as a trading company.
Technically it wont be a lie but only because at that point you are the company and you are trading. Heck, if your making some serious money then just take it a step further and actually register your own business for the low. You can always be creative bra. Trading consulting, Trading media company etc. I can easily go on blackhatworld or fiverr and get some dude to find me a twitter or any social media with 5-10k followers and set up a website, email list and pretty much anything for prob less than 1k$.
Remember redpill is not about women but about YOUR growth. Focus on expanding on what you do best.