Note - I work at a random ass temporary job that I don't care about, hopefully about to leave and find a new job that will make use of my degree.
I'll keep it concise - new girl joined (24 y/o), talked a little bit but not too often, colleagues tried to embarass me be saying "she has a boyfriend", kept talking VERY briefly on the days that I work. Fast forward to 2 months later (now), I decided to be more enthusiastic/energetic, I talk a lot to a lot of people at work, basically trying to improve my social skills whilst making time run by quicker and probably making other people's day better/quicker. Talked to the mentioned girl a bit more, gathered that she's definitely an over thinker, probably shy and slightly awkward (i guess they could be synonyms) but overall relatively down to earth. Thing is, I'm 21, literally the definition of inexperienced, body count of 0 and I'm only somewhat starting to live and go out now. We've added each other on social media from the get go and based on her profile pics from when she was 18-21, she most definitely had her share of fun (on top of that, mentions of going on a holiday to a costal city in Spain with her 'crew' (slang term in my country for a close group of friends, I didn't ask too many questions).
I'm expecting comments saying that I've got oneitis, but I'm making sure I use every opportunity I get my hands on as that was my mistake from the past. Looks wise she is still attractive, less than in her older pics but attractive nonetheless, but thinking about the body count (in general, not just her) disheartens me a fair bit if I'm being honest.
I'm still kinda gauging and testing the waters - she recently mentioned 'ex' when talking about something, could be an indicator that shes single or just somebody before current bf, whether she's receptive, hard to tell, we definitely laugh and talk and get to know each other, but typically I have to initiate from the start of the working day (which is fairly normal here as people seem to be like that, including me but I decided to change).
I don't want to escalate directly to a "lets hang out" because it may be a little awkward afterwards if I dont land a new job, but let me know what you think (overall, escalation is probably my biggest weakness).
[deleted] 2y ago
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hannulv 2y ago
Just try to fuck her already. Don't be so timid. Just assume she's been with hundreds of guys and she's kind of like a free prostitute that actually likes you.
You have waited so long, you're probably already in the friend zone. Just take the shot. Stop worrying about how you stack up and just get laid. All that matters is whose boning her right now. The goal is to get you more experience, not to get her less experience.
"Hey I think you're cute. Lets hang out after work tomorrow. I want you to be the one to cash in my vCard. Go gentle on me." If she doesn't want to , don't freak out and get rejected. Just be cool. "Hey remember that time last week when I asked you out. I thought that was pretty bold."
jriver11 2y ago
Whoa... Do not tell any girl that you're a virgin. Overt approach in the workplace is not a good idea. She needs to initiate and he needs to lead her there by flirting and getting her turned on.
hannulv 2y ago
Definitely do NOT tell her. That element was meant in jest.
master-of-losers 2y ago
I agree with this. Briefly withdrawing attention before making your move, for a few days or so, may increase your chances.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
I know exactly how you feel. You start liking a girl, get a bit of oneitis, and then start thinking about how much cock she's had and whether or not yours could ever be as good as her best.
DON'T!
Just fuck her AND somebody else AND somebody else. The more women you are sleeping with, the less important any of those stomach churning details like bodycount are.