I started university a month ago and the first 3 weeks were pretty nice...was able to meet a lot of new people and made what I think are "friends". I was going out many times a week (3 days in a row) and was getting invites quite often.
However, it's cooled off a bit and as the groups are cementing themselves, I am starting to feel left out. I managed to break out of my prison of shyness and lost 35 pounds (january to august, 220 to 185 ish) and can start a conversation with almost everyone. There are a lot of people I see at school and sit down with, have a chit-chat and make them laugh often but I have often seen myself left out when it's time to make plans and go out.
I guess that I'm fun to be around because I make jokes and I'm resourceful in a way that I understand what's going on in most classes. So I don't know if I should start forging stronger bonds and even then, I don't really know how.
For those suggesting I join a sports team, I'm planning to join the rugby team next year. I was in my HS' football team and my neighborhood's soccer team. I was kind of a loser in high school so I get why I wasn't invited out. As for the soccer team, I was getting invited to events and all during the first season but after a few months, they stopped inviting me.
I'm not willing to just hang out with anyone. I may sound like a post-wall woman, but I know how I should be treated. When I switched schools during high school, my friends from my former high school, many of whom I didn't see for 6 years, welcomed me with open arms when I randomly saw a few of them during the last summer. Same for my co-interns at the hospital last summer. We were only 4 but they seemed to actually care about me. At one point, I was gone for the whole day with the head of surgery so I didn't get to see them that day. When I came back to my desk, they left a note for me saying "If you want to come play football tomorrow, don't forget to bring your clothes".
How come people I had only known for a few weeks were nice enough to leave me a note like that, when people I consider friends make plans right in front of my face or keep forgetting about me when making plans?
I am deadass a lot more confident in my ability to get girls that to get friends, something I did not expect.
I know it's a long post, but anyone been in a similar spot and care to give some advice?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Happened to me all the time. It turns out that my autism was the problem. So I fixed it and wrote a book so other people could fix theirs. It's out on paperback and I'm still waiting for the kindle version to be approved. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09HFXWF78?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860
SheLarror1234 4y ago
"How come people I had only known for a few weeks were nice enough to leave me a note like that, when people I consider friends make plans right in front of my face or keep forgetting about me when making plans?"
Its a cycle. First thing to understand that MOST people simply do not care too deeply about anything outside of themselves. Yes, these people may be having fun with you now as they build their social circles up more, but in a few years i can bet the same will happen.
Friends are temporary and situational based. When your situation changes, change your friends. When you unlock a new mindset, change your friends. When you make more or less money, change your friends. Abundance mentality is not exclusive to only females.