I'm learning about frame, specifically holding it, but it's a pretty abstract concept so it's taking time to settle in my brain. Knowing that "reacting" to someone's bullshit is basically breaking frame helped to connect some dots, but I'm pondering on what is considered a reaction or not. Surely you can't just ignore everything that's thrown at you right? It's nice when it's possible but in some situations it just isn't. Like when you're being disrespected in front of other people, not doing anything often comes off as weakness by being passive.

That being said, would it be correct to say that reacting means letting the interaction be shifted to the direction the attacker wants? (I know it's a stupid term but whatever) Or in any other direction, even if it messes with their frame too?

Example 1: With coworkers on voice call, my shift to oversee things. One guy accuses me I did x thing wrong (I didn't and everybody knows it, it's literally an annoying "shit test" he does with everybody often). Not in the mood for banter, I know that if I ignore he'll just keep plowing on until someone goes along with it, so I say "Your shitty mic exploded my eardrums. Say it again in 30 minutes when the ringing stops" and promptly go back to what I was doing. Bad? Good? Did I react to his stupid frame?

2: Discussing politics in a "friends" group with a male acquaintance, I refuted a point he made against early covid treatment. He then attacked something unrelated I mentioned before I was finished, not providing a valid argument. But instead of calling him out or returning the subject to the previous one, I just very sarcastically amplified what he said to make fun of it and left it at that. He then arrogantly insisted on it saying I had no counter argument. This is the type of guy who fucking drags arguments on for an entire day just to have the last word. Knowing there would be no end to this, I left it on read. Frame kept or in pieces?

3: In one occasion I asked a serious question to some people, but got a tease from one of them in response. I agreed and amplified. In other words I had to swerve the whole thing to prevent myself from becoming the butt of the joke. They didn't get the reaction they wanted from me, but I didn't get the answer to my question either. So idk if it counts as holding frame. What do you think?

Also know that I'm fully aware of and working on the mental resilience/stoicism aspect of frame. It's about the situational frame control in social interactions that I'm more confused about.