Firstly i want to say that i'm very knew to the red pill. I haven't finished the handbook yet. Second is, English is not my main language, sry about any mistake.
So, i started texting a girl on Instagram. At the beginning i tough i was doing well, we talked about pretty much anything all day long, we even talked about sexual experiences. She even said stuff like "to know more u'll have to do a "test-drive"". However, eventually she says she just wants to be friends and all the sexual stuff was just she joking around. I got pretty upset and disgusted by her behavior, in my eyes, she wasn't that "attractive" anymore but she's cool so i kept talking to her, not as much but i would still talk to her before work and i was much colder when talking to her.
After that we meet a couple of times, just as friends no "sexual ambience" or nothing. One day, a friend of mine shows interest in her, so i invite them to grab a coffee, the three of us, so i can introduce them to one another. After the "date" she takes me home and in the parking lot, we start to make out. We do some sexual stuff but don't actually have sex. After that, she said we're "friends with benefits" however, she's different now. She doesn't talk as much, sends short messages and left me on read 3 times, so i soft-nexted her, i even blocked her insta stories so i wouldn't be tempted to see them. It's been 1 week and she didn't texted me. So, can the soft next work? And more important, whats going on in her head? Why did she do all of that?~
Update: 1 month after not talking to her and removing her from all social media. She sends me a "happy birthday" text on my birthday. Is it normal for women to try to grab an orbiter a second time?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
I'm not the most experienced guy (full disclosure) but I'm familiar with the RP content and I don't see that anyone else has answered this yet so I'll try
"Instagram" She's on there to get validated by literally hundreds of men, these are how Instagram hoes are
"Talked about pretty much anything all day long"
1) Texting/messaging should be mostly to set up plans, not building conversations. It's good that it got in to sexual topics, since she should know you have a dick, but still.
2) you gave her your whole day to message her. She knows that you must have not had awesome things to do that day if you could spend that much time on an app with her. She's got to chase you for your time, you gave it away freely.
"Got pretty upset and disgusted with her behavior but kept talking to her"
When you get let's just be friended like that you have to tell her you're not interested in that and next right then and there bro
"Meet a couple of times with no sexual ambience"
Why would you put yourself in this situation if she's told you that you're not gonna be getting any pussy? She's getting free time with you as an orbiter unless there's some critical information that you've left out that indicates there was a possibility for sex in the plans
"We start to make out and did some sexual stuff"
Awesome, clearly you applied the correct RP principles somewhere in unmentioned parts of this story
"But didn't have sex"
Man that hurt to read, you should have invited her inside
"She said we're friends with benefits now"
Right after you kissed her and folded around? while you were still in the car? If so you should have invited her inside and tried to escalate
First of all, she's an Instagram hoe, she's gonna be milking guys for their validation all day everyday.
Second, she was probably upset you didn't take it further that day
Third, maybe she regretted what she did with you in the car if your SMV wasn't high enough (I don't know what your SMV is).
Four, she's an Instagram hoe
Also, the soft next is more so for bad behavior you don't want to deal with. Soft nexting is something you do when she is actively engaged with you in a way you don't appreciate.
Then you withdraw for a set amount of days, ignoring any and all messages she sends you (assuming she doesn't piss you off any further, which earns her more days) and then you come back like nothing happened to ask her out again.
In this case she ghosted you while you were interacting with her, so a soft next will do nothing for you. What you need to do is forget about her completely unless she reaches out to you (and she might not).
And when she does reach out, IF she does, you have to ignore her for at least a few more days, if not a week, before answering her
coiso 4y ago
"When you get let's just be friended like that you have to tell her you're not interested in that and next right then and there bro" So, im only supposed to have male friends?
"Why would you put yourself in this situation if she's told you that you're not gonna be getting any pussy?" Cause i lost interest in her and just wanted friendship from her.
"Awesome, clearly you applied the correct RP principles somewhere in unmentioned parts of this story" I think looking at her as just another friend and not giving her much attention did the trick. But i did by accident cause i really didn't want anything more with her.
"Man that hurt to read, you should have invited her inside" I worked a 14 hour shift that day, it was 6am, i was tired and i live with my parents.
"Right after you kissed her and folded around? while you were still in the car? If so you should have invited her inside and tried to escalate" No. It was the day after through texting.
"In this case she ghosted you while you were interacting with her, so a soft next will do nothing for you. What you need to do is forget about her completely unless she reaches out to you (and she might not)." Might as well just stop following her on insta. One less orbiter around her.
Thanks for the advises by the way dude, appreciate it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
You're welcome man,
"So I'm only supposed to have male friends?"
1) YES, unless you truly don't want to fuck the girl you are friends with, but in this case you clearly wanted to fuck her so hard NO.
2) Women's greatest prize they can give away is sex, men's greatest prize you can give away is committment. Both sexes try to get the other sex's prize without giving away their own.
She's gonna suck your commitment out of you like a blood-sucking parasite in return for nothing dude, and get dick from somewhere else without committment to have the best of both worlds
3) I was "friends" with a girl who had a boyfriend, because I don't try to cheat or get people to cheat. As soon as she became single I swooped in and we fucked a month later. But I didn't give her my time until she was single
"Cause i lost interest in her and just wanted friendship from her"
no you didn't dude, why else would you make this post then and read our detailed-ass feedback if you didn't want to fuck.
You couldn't get her sexually interested right away so you tried to sneak in throuythe back door as a "friend" in hopes she'd fuck you. Own the fact that you're a horny dude that wants to fuck and don't lie to yourself
"I think looking at her as just another friend and not giving her much attention did the trick"
Being her friend didn't do anything, it was pulling back the validation you gave her, I'd anything being her friend probably made it harder for her to be okay with fucking you
"worked a 14 hour shift that day, it was 6am, live with parents"
Is there no room you can safely fuck in? What about her house?
"I didn't want to drive"
You should have, it would have given you the option to drive to her place instead which would have given you a chance to fuck, and she doesn't want the responsibility to drive. Men should lead, not her
"No. It was the day after through texting."
with how often you text her instead of just using texting to set up plans/logistics, you probably said or did something over text that shot you in the dick. You should only be texting to make plans.
When she said "we're friends with benefits now" you should have just said "cool" and set up plans with her at her place where you could escalate to fucking. Only text to make plans
"Might as well just stop following her on insta. One less orbiter around her"
You should, and if she asks you why you did it don't answer it. She might spam you when you ignore that but you have to ignore what she says unless she says something like "come over" which I doubt she will.
coiso 4y ago
"no you didn't dude, why else would you make this post then and read our detailed-ass feedback if you didn't want to fuck." I guess i did, i don't know. I was open to it in the parking lot, so i guess i always wanted. I made the post cause after the parking lot, i wanted more action, i started having oneitis.
"with how often you text her instead of just using texting to set up plans/logistics, you probably said or did something over text that shot you in the dick. You should only be texting to make plans." Thats most likely what i did i guess.
I think it's best for me to read and focus on myself first and forget about women for now. Thank you, dude.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4y ago
First thing you should do before reading any more RP content is ADMITTING to yourself that you're horny and want to fuck women. You know you do, you're just ashamed to admit it from blue-pill conditioning.
You've got to face the truth, you know you want sex. Without that most of the other RP content is not gonna stick with you because it is about sexual dynamics, not friend dynamics.
You got oneitis because you don't seem to have other options and kept bonding with her over messaging and hanging out instead of getting sexual satisfaction and pursuing multiple women
You're welcome dude, good luck on your journey
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Keep reading sidebar content. Get The Rational Male book as well. While doing this on the side you should keep your focus on yourself, and your investment in girls low, because you will only continue to waste your time trying to game girls as a bluepill.
Get into lifting if you arent. Focus on school or upgrading your career. Find enjoyable, high value hobbies. Set goals unrelated to women and chase those, first of all.
Now to your post.
So, i started texting a girl on Instagram. - youre wasting your time with this unless you have some sort of solid routine, which you dont.
we talked about pretty much anything all day long - So you became her emotional tampon. She never earned this level of investment from you, so dont give it. In reality you never want to do this. I understand you're probably starved for pussy but this is not the way to go.
said stuff like "to know more u'll have to do a "test-drive" - at this point you may have gotten out of this situation by escalating (like you should do constantly, in some way). Your goal is to get off the internet and into her.
eventually she says she just wants to be friends and all the sexual stuff was just she joking around. - You never escalated, so at this point she has realised you are the beta she suspected and feared that you are. You give your attention for nothing. You stay in her frame and she has lost respect.
she's cool so i kept talking to her - shows your lack of abundance and how little you value your time. This dries her up further.
just as friends no "sexual ambience" or nothing - once you got her out you failed to escalate again
After the "date" she takes me home and in the parking lot, we start to make out. We do some sexual stuff but don't actually have sex - You are completely in her frame and will only get so far as she feels like. Just look at your wording here, "she takes me home". Why is she in charge of shit? And did you even try to get past ASD/LMR?
After that, she said we're "friends with benefits" however, she's different now - Dont look at her words, only her actions. She pulled away.
So, can the soft next work? - Probably not, but it's not what's important here anyway. You're simping over this chick and wasting your time. She will reach out if she wants to, though i doubt it. If she does you settle logistics, and close ASAP or dont bother.
And more important, whats going on in her head? Why did she do all of that? - Who knows? Women dont think about these things like men, like TRP will teach you. There is no point in worrying about it, so dont waste more of your time on her.
coiso 4y ago
"at this point you may have gotten out of this situation by escalating (like you should do constantly, in some way). Your goal is to get off the internet and into her." After that i asked her to grab a coffe but she kept saying that kinda of stuff is too "romantic", whatever that means.
"shows your lack of abundance and how little you value your time." lack of abundance, that it's true. but how little i value my time? Don't u text ur friends? That's what i did with her.
"once you got her out you failed to escalate again" Again, i wasn't trying anymore. She was a fresh break from going out with guy friends all the time.
"Why is she in charge of shit? And did you even try to get past ASD/LMR?" Cause i live between her town and the town we went for the coffee, so i asked her to give me a ride so i wouldn't have to drive. I was very tired, coming from a 14hour shift, she mentioned how late it was and me too so we stoped there but I have to admit, that i didn't knew yet about asd/lmr and didn't recognize it.
Thanks for the feed back dude, i appreciate it.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
When she says "thats too romantic" you should just assume she wants to be fucked.
I have maybe 1 girl i consider a "platonic friend" that i keep around, but no i dont text her about her day etc. Thats cringe. Mostly guys and girls dont make good friends. They can pretend but normally the guy is friendzoned, wants to fuck her, but she's looking for chad and is keeping the friend for validation.
And why do you post if you dont want her????
coiso 4y ago
I didn't before the parking lot thing...Or i think i didn't..
I'm gonna do what u recommended. One last question, was it hard for u to regain respect for women after taking the red pill? Cause i don't think i can respect them anymore.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Women arent to blame for their nature. Just like men. The only reason you would "lose respect" is that you still have the blue pill disney-view of both love and female nature in your head, so you think they are "behaving badly". In reality the disney story was always a lie.
Anyways respect is earned not given for free, which is what matters. Be a man and lead. Keep the ones that deserve it, and dont get bitter about the ones that leave of their own accord.