Hello guys,
(TL;DR is basically the title)
Lately I've been into this downhill trend into the black pill. I never read anything about it, I just know their primary ideology and it slowly starts to feel more and more true. I don't want to go there, I don't want to go that route and be bitter. But man it's hard....
Thing is I can't even say I have any big "downsides" so to say. I see people complaining about being super short, exceedingly fat, having mental disabilities or things like that. Apart from bad teeth (which I'm fixing atm) I'm a tall slim guy (going to the gym though. Have some progress and yet I barely look like I lift with clothes which adds to my bad feelings), probably average looking face. I improved my style, got a better haircut, got to the gym. And nothing. Now listen I don't pretend that women should fall at my feet or anything. But damn sometimes not seeing even a slight of interest makes me feel unwanted as fuck. It's like at birth I was assigned in a category of men and now I'm fucked. I feel like what I've done hasn't helped at all in regards to women. You would think you would see at least some improvement right? Well no.
Even the fucking gym (which I loved since day 1 and still do) feels useless. I have that skinny bones type of body. I feel like even if I reach my personal peak potential it won't be that good....
I have friends and even extended family people who just look better, face and body. I see them getting interest like it's nothing. I know I know, comparing to others is the biggest thief of joy. It's just not ... Easy. Almost makes you feel like a second grade person.
I don't know what the fuck is going on...
I will keep doing these things. I will keep trying to improve myself. Have a better style, gym, improve at my job, reading and so on. I still like these things. I haven't done them to get women. I done them because I enjoy them.
But I have to ask: how the hell do you keep from falling into despair and believing in blackpill theory?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Maybe you're just ugly. My nose makes me look like a clown. I am getting a nose job soon after my teeth are done. Even so, if you're slim you're better off than 80% of American men. And don't forget that 80% of men are unattractive to women. I suppose overcoming the looks barrier requires no small degree of charm.
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
Hey man. Feeling like this is pretty common. After becoming red pill aware it's easy to get bitter because of the added responsibility in a sense. This is often considered a transitory phase before actually accepting and becoming red pilled. But some get stuck there without moving on, which has become it's own thing known as the black pill.
I think acceptance of the world and the sexual dynamic is very important. Just being red pill aware might feel empowering for a second, but it doesnt actually help you before it's internalised and you are able to make it impact your life. The blue pill naturals, or even just guys with better looks, will still get better results than you very often. Just watch people through a RP lens, learn from the good, and laugh about the bad. Some of what you will see is literally comedy gold.
Just know that others' success doesnt take away from your own. Compare yourself to the old you, and not to others. There's gonna be huge setbacks too that probably make you look back on this time being young and healthy with fondness.
You didnt say how old you were. Remember that a man who keeps working on himself doesnt reach his SMV peak until around 37 years of age. Dont stress out and keep up the good work for your own sake, and perhaps lower your expectations a bit. It's a long ride, try to enjoy it.
Rando123 4y ago
I'm 22. I guess you're right with the SMV, I'm on the younger side. I don't know how much that applies here in my country though (ex communist, rather conservative country). You don't really see older guys pulling young girls all that often, it's just not a thing. I could be wrong though.
And about the expectations. I don't know, I've been thinking about it. I think I have quite normal ones. But let's say one does lower his expectations and settles for less than what he wanted. Can you really be happy then? I feel like would just get a woman in order to have a woman, just so you're not lonely(something I see often).
coolsocks00 1 4y ago
In conservative countries it probably is rarer but im sure it happens more than you think. I am not talking about marriages here, just sexual relationships. I knew of it but was still pretty surprised when i heard from a 20 y.o. chick how she had friends who were actively seeking out and dating older guys in their 30s and 40s, and not as a sugar daddy but for casual relationships.
What do you mean settling for less than you wanted? I didnt really mean settling for anything low. I was aiming at your expectations for how quickly you will see results, i.e. with your body from lifting, with your game from reading/watching stuff and then using it, etc.
Both lifting and game are pretty complicated topics. For results on your physique you need to have a good program that needs to be changed up as you improve. You need to have a clean diet with a slight calorie surplus. Your lifts need to be technically sound to avoid injury and promote growth. All of this, on a consistent basis for years. It's not easy.
Game is also complicated. There is so much BAD content and if you consume too much too fast you are likely to forget most of it before you can actually learn it.
As for relationships, there is nothing wrong with wanting one, even getting married. You just need to understand the consequences (legally etc.) and womens nature, so that you can keep yourself happy (and her as a consequence). You actually need to keep gaming your woman even in the relationship if you want her to stay interested and loving. Check out the marriedredpill subreddit in the future if thats your thing.