I'll keep it as short as possible;
Currently struggling with; a. Putting myself out there, b. Self esteem/confidence, c. Approaching more people
As you can tell, its mainly social problems, I'll describe each individually.
a - I live in the UK. I am done with education for now (graduated with a Bachelors), COVID fucked up the majority of my university experience, which was already hindered by me commuting and not moving out to halls.
b - Posted a single pic on social media back in 2015/16, no more. I know that social media is shit, but the problem is with my self esteem, even though it is much better (social media is advertising in a way, which is why I will need it if I don't want to turn into a social recluse). Used to get bullied, took a hit in my confidence, started to work on myself in general (mentally and actually going to the gym, still a hard gainer but with a little bit of muscle). Never went to clubs, went to few parties. Not a lot of friends remain as I tried to cut off the leeches and the remaining ones aren't the greatest for the most part. I think I do have few insecurities and that is the reason why I don't take pics - little bit of acne remaining, was worse before, great height, deep voice but even with all that its just me not being used to my face most likely.
c - due to the previously mentioned bits, I don't really approach often, its a mix of personal things and the culture in the UK being a little 'off' when it comes to the societal culture norms/standards here.
Don't get me wrong, I'm working on myself, but its still a little shit to think that now it'll be even harder to socialise
YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
A, B & C are all excuses. Shut the fuck up, go lift, get on an acne regimen if you're not already, grow a pair of balls and go talk to people. Sidebar some pickup strategies and lose your fear of rejection.
pfeilmacher 4y ago
Stop blaming everyone else for your life.
If you want to rule your own world, take responsibility for it. I fell into the same trap as you're in now at one time. All I can say is just stop it.
Also, get your Testosterone checked.
TRPPRT2021 4y ago
Appreciate it, why testosterone though? (By that I mean what indicates low T)
pfeilmacher 4y ago
If your T is low, it can create a lot of problems regarding confidence, motivation, direction, to name a few.
TRPPRT2021 4y ago
I’ll definitely get a blood test then, appreciate it dude!
whytehorse2021 4y ago
The cure for social anxiety is confidence in your social skills. When my book is out you should read it. It covers this in great detail.
unplugged69 4y ago
Your problem is your ego, you don't put yourself out there because you want to spare your ego from taking hits. You need to kill your ego completely and not give a shit what others think, even if you are the biggest loser on the planet, the only way to go is up. If your ego is now at rock bottom you can only see improvements from here.
Also here's a good tip about cold approaching, even if you still get rejected you are slowly improving in subtle ways you don't notice at the start.
It's a bit like going to the gym, you won't have a 6 pack immediately, it will take at least 6 months but probably a year or two of consistent workouts. But you do get there eventually, the only wrong move is giving up