Reconnected with this girl I was smashing after about a month break. She came over recently, grabbed dinner, and she ended up sleeping over. We didn’t have sex, but we were very intimate. We took a shower together, she let me suck on her tits, we kissed, etc. but she wouldn’t have sex and I didn’t force it. Overall, a good night though.
The next day we talked and she said she wants to keep hanging out, but just wanted to be friends and not have sex. I communicated that I didn’t want to be just friends and that I wanted sex in order to keep hanging out.
Do I just pull back and never initiate contact since she knows what I want now or should I just officially let her know that we should stop talking/seeing each other since we want different things? I refuse to be in the friend zone, but also don’t want to come off as butt hurt giving her an ultimatum since we just started talking again.
Just play it cool or break up and walk away?
MonkMode 4y ago
Freeze out guy, where you at.
[deleted] 4y ago
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pfeilmacher 4y ago
This ^^. Learning how to train a dog taught me more about human psychology than probably anything else.
Find out what a woman's dog treat is and ONLY give it to her when she's exhibiting what you consider good behavior.
Semenbaptism 4y ago
next. Tell her you're looking for sex aswell and don't have time for her friendship and pursuing somebody else, so it's not going to work and good luck. This isn't butthurt and this is not an ultimatum, it's communicating your needs and wants. If she can't be what you need or give you what you want, she's expendable and needs to be reminded of that. There's zero point in pursuing a dead end.
It's a shit test, she's seeing if you have the balls to walk away. So walk away.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Thanks bro.. my gut was telling me that, but not sure how to approach it. When you mean walk away, just straight up give her an ultimatum and end it, or show it by just pulling away and ghosting her?
If the former.. Would you do it over a text or phone? And should I let her know ASAP or only state it when she initiates contact again and suggests coming over since we already had the chat?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Just walk away. End the relationshit. "No thanks, I have enough friends. Have a nice life". Go find someone who isn't going to use you like a rag doll.
Semenbaptism 4y ago
I'd text it. No point in meeting up with her to "have a talk". Also don't word it like an ultimatum.
master-of-losers 4y ago
Definitely a shit test. She made out with you so she's definitely attracted. Your reaction was great! Next time you meet her, go all the way. In case she's a virgin, you might not want to push for sex too hard.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Yea we already smashed before a lot, but somewhere along the line, I was showing weakness and got attached and/or a different guy came in the picture.
So you suggesting to just invite her if she initiated contact and wants to come over again? Or should I give her the condition that we smashing if she does or it’s a no?
master-of-losers 4y ago
I just read some of your other responses and it seems like that was more of a pity make out and less of her feeling very attracted. But at least there is still some attraction left, otherwise she wouldn't even have slept over, so not all is lost.
Put her on low priority and let HER want to come back over to your place. Don't do stupid stuff like waiting exactly 12 hours to respond to her texts, it's ok to reply sooner, just make your responses very short, as if you didn't really care.
You've already told her your rules (you want sex) and she surely won't have forgotten. Repeating that would be giving her too much attention. You want to keep your attention towards her to a minimum. When she does come over, assume that she has accepted the accompanying terms and conditions and just go for it. If she blocks you off, treat it as LMR (freeze out etc).
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Bro I’m glad you responded. I can tell you really payed attention to details in my posts and responses and can read the situation well in a unbiased way.
If I may ask, can you clarify your last sentence? If she blocks off my advancement, treat it as a LMR.. what is freeze out? How do I handle this situation going forward if it does happen?
I like your approach. No need to be so cold and ghost. She already knows what I want now. I can let my actions speak for them while still moving on. I get the perspective of the other posters too though.
master-of-losers 4y ago
Freeze out means (pretending to) suddenly lose all interest in her. For example if you guys were kissing, you could stop, check your phone, reply emails and show no interest whatsoever in the naked hottie on your couch. She should soon come after you and want more. A lot of @unplugged69's advice is also really great.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
You move on and game other women. You don't need to talk to her.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Thanks bro. Her last text was a question asking how I’m doing. Should I even respond or would not responding be butt hurt?
She waited like 12 hours to respond to my text before asking that question. Tired of the games bro.
unplugged69 4y ago
If a bitch says she just wants to be friends she's trying to turn you into an orbiter. It means you gave strong beta male vibes so at least you know what to work on!
Your only response options are:
a) I have enough friends
b) Just don't answer and ghost her, this is probably the best option.
Anything else is basically saying you are beta and looking to be humiliated.
Now onto the important part, where did you go wrong? It sounds like you're missing the "I am the prize" mentality when you say "She let me suck on her tits". These stupid whores should be lucky to sleep with you, they need to work for it!
During a date you need to be hot and cold and make them qualify themselves to you. Polarize the conversation, take her on an emotional rollercoaster and she will feel excited.
When you kiss her don't do it for too long, a few seconds and pull back and make her wonder what the fuck, don't talk about the kiss either.
Once you start escalating get her horny and play with her pussy but don't make her cum or you've lost. If she says no at this point then say oh that's cool let's watch a movie and she will be all horny and going WHAT THE FUCK!
Then try escalating again in 30-40 minutes, if she rejects you again say that's cool it's getting late anyway and you need to sleep so she should go.
If she asks to stay over say no and don't explain yourself or apologise. Sometimes she will literally jump on your cock on at this stage but if not then you've increased your chances on the next date.
Never let her sleep over at the start, even if you smash her puss. This is because it's a beta move and she will get boyfriend vibes which means she can treat you like trash. Instead you need to give fuckboy vibes which means she will chase you and try to please you.
You should also make sure you squash her shit tests, I suspect you failed some here.
And IMO don't shower with her before you have sex, tease her for being a pervert and only thinking about one thing. By getting naked with her but not fucking, you diffused the sexual tension.
Sometimes she will lead you on and try to tease you and get you to work for her attention or sexual favours. NEVER fall for this trap, you don't necessarily need to fuck on the first date but you should always try on YOUR terms only. Don't be afraid to deny her sex, but if you do also deny her time and attention and tell her to leave.
I've had a girl be lukewarm with me before and I said okay well someone is coming over soon so you need to leave. That fucking drove her crazy and she started trying to seduce me, when she started saying please I'll be quick I knew I had her but a valid strategy would have also been to kick her out. That's how you stay on her mind, you do shit like this to piss her off.
Instead I said you have 15 minutes to ride my cock and then leave, when she was about to cum I said times up and pushed her off and jerked off on her face and sent her out the door. She probably called Billy beta to complain later and I'm sure he spent all night comforting her whereas I spent all night fucking a FWB. You can bet Billy never came on her face and never will because he gives his attention for free.
You need to lead every interaction with these whores and don't be afraid to lose them, that's the most important lesson here.
P.S - Some people have said you need to tell her you're looking for sex and verbalize it, don't do that. These bitches know, they know how the game is played. No sex, no attention, they know the consequences but they're testing if you are beta and try to negotiate or if you're alpha and you have another option around the corner.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Appreciate your time in writing that response. I agree with you that I was turning her off by becoming too available and showing beta male tendencies.
Trust me when she had her guard up all night. Even when we kissed, she pulled away and said “can you stop doing that?” I’m not concerned about how I escalated.
We already had sex the very first date we met and smashed every week before she got cold and we took a break for a month.
But I’m still torn based on your last statement. I still don’t know if I should tell her straight up and walk away putting the ball in her court, or showing that by pulling back and letting my actions speak for it by not giving her no more of my non sexual attention.
Like.. if she asks to come over again, what would you personally say?
unplugged69 4y ago
Well man ultimately you do what you want, think of this like a fucking game and there are no rules only guidelines and the experience of others. Ultimately your experience is more valuable because it's first hand experience.
You should always try stuff both ways to see how it works, for example in the same situation sometimes you verbalize it and sometimes you don't. I tried this one out a lot and I found verbalizing got me worse results, it was easier to withdraw attention. If they texted again I would make a bullshit excuse that I'm busy with something, they understand that language perfectly.
You know when you were 18 in college and asked some hottie out and she would say some shit like "Oh I can't I'm busy with exams" or when you went on a date and she decided you were too beta so she said "you are a great guy, I really like you, but we should just be friends". That's how women communicate, that's COVERT communication, it's subtext. What she's NOT saying is more important than what she is saying, that's what women respond to because that's how they communicate with us.
Men on the other hand communicate OVERTLY, they literally state in a short statement what they want, or what their understanding is, and it works really well with other men because we are precise and logical and want to get to the point. This shit does NOT work with women though. A good example is married dead bedroom types, when they tell their wife "oh I need to have sex otherwise it's not a relationship" most of the time the wives ignore them, sometimes they improve for a bit but then revert back to a state where they weren't sexual at all because that's their default state.
The only thing that works for those guys is to implement HEAVY dread, you can check out MarriedTRP forums for dread they use and that shit does work well, they never verbalise anything, they just raise SVM and apply dread and suddenly their wives are like WTF is going on and it gets their hamster spinning. The reason why women react well to this is because they don't need you to make a rational statement, they need you to make them FEEL something, and then their hamster goes and rationalizes their feelings and fills in the gaps. Understanding this unique female behaviour is the key to understanding how to fuck with them and get them to do what you want. You WANT to caffeinate the hamster, not provide an explanation for it.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Bro.. I’m new to this forum so I just want to say I really appreciate your time writing these quality posts.
Everything you said makes sense. This is very helpful. Maybe I’m overthinking, but I like your approach of implementing dread. Good to get different perspectives from others too. It’s all situational for sure.
On that same note, this same chick responded to my text like 12 hours later yesterday and she asked how I was feeling since she got me sick. Still haven’t responded yet. Should I not respond in relation to this topic to show that I won’t give her non sexual attention after our friend one chat?
unplugged69 4y ago
I would leave her on read, if she's into you she will message again going "oh hey what are you doing" or some shit like that. Honestly when you've got 4 plates you will forget to messages some of these bitches back and by the time you check your phone she's messaged you 5 times. Be that guy, even if the plate breaks who cares, if she's really into you then she won't break so easily.
P.S - No problem dude, years ago I was in a very dark place when I discovered the redpill and it really changed my whole life. It was not an instant change but over time changes started to happen and I'm in a place where I want to give a bit back and hopefully help some people who were in the same situation as me.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Thanks bro. Yea.. Again a grey area between dreading and looking butthurt. I was thinking about just leaving a statement like “I’m ok” and leave it close ended to not look butt hurt but show I won’t engage in conversation, but I see your suggestion works too. I’m not trying to be her friend and she’s clearly being disrespectful.
I agree.. I don’t have a rotation like that at the moment, but working on it. Honestly, I prefer to be purple pill.
Very fortunate to have you in our community bro
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
Update: she double texted me another question asking for financial advice after I ignored her. Lol
unplugged69 4y ago
Hah fucking women, whenever they ask me for shit I always joke I have to charge them £200 per hour. Never do women favours, ever, even if you are in an LTR.
P.S - I don't think you prefer the purple pill, I think you prefer LTRs over plates. The problem is acting blue pill will not get you a good LTR, you'll get the sloppy seconds of an LTR, you will get cheated on, and you will get a lot of drama. You need to use the red pill techniques to get a GOOD LTR, I prefer LTRs too and I generally keep them until they turn sour and then plate them and start the rotation again until a good one pops up. You need to use the bitch management guide humansockpuppet wrote to find a good LTR.
MarloChrisSnoop 4y ago
That’s a little overboard in my opinion, but I definitely see what you’re talking about.
So you sparked my curiosity though:
How would you respond to this considering my situation? She clearly hamstering if she double texted. She asked if I recommended any good investing apps.
unplugged69 4y ago
I wouldn't quite call that hamstering, she's asking for beta advice, she thinks you'll give it. I wouldn't even engage here. Think about it this way, if your phone is currently being blown up by 50 women and you have NO time because you're fucking so much, would you be giving her attention because she's asking you favours? LOL
Was that text really enough to grab your attention? She knows it wouldn't be enough for the guys she finds attractive.
The only way to get women is to not be afraid of losing them, if you're constantly walking on eggshells and are afraid to tease them, ignore them and tell them to leave, then you're just running a blue pill game and it will not work. You can keep trying but you'll notice you get the same shitty results.
My advice is to leave her on READ until she says something you find interesting. With women you remove attention when they don't do what you want, that's your ONLY move but it's a very potent one. Go read humansockpuppet's posts and you will understand more about it.
Growing 4y ago
Interpretation: it's your duty to fuck me.
Her: I have a duty? Fuck it. I thought sex was more of a hobby. Bye bye. But if you wanna give me attention, I'm all for it.
What should you do?
You know the answer.