Asked plate to go to a venue on a call late EU time. She said we'll see/i'll let you know as she is a busy person. Best case of action here? Venue is on Friday and I have a gut feeling that I need to rescind my offer and say we should do this another time instead of waiting for a potential flake. But then if she actually can go during that time I'll feel as though I made a mistake. Or perhaps say I need to know by tomorrow
All opinions are appreciated.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
"I'll let you know" = "I'm waiting for another guy to answer me but if he isn't available I'll settle for second/third best and that might be you at that time so if it is I'll let you take me out so other guys can see me and hit me up while you're getting me drinks"
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JBPW 4y ago
Yeah I know man it feels like a grab for power or something, she did this one other time and flaked. I have been out with her after that time, I know this screams probably screams oneitis but I want to attempt to handle this situation in the best way possible to prevent wasted time or a flake.
[deleted] 4y ago
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JBPW 4y ago
No not fully, just head (Location wasn't exactly great). Does that really matter?
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unplugged69 4y ago
If she already flaked on you then stop giving her attention and chase other options. wait for her to reach out for the next date and then leave her on read for a bit. Withdrawing attention is the only way to deal with women who aren't doing what you want. It doesn't solve every situation but it's VERY effective and it has the added bonus of redirecting your limited time in areas that are more productive, including other chicks who are more enthusiastic about going out with you.
Anonytrp 4y ago
soft next. cancel the friday and try to get someone else to hang.
JBPW 4y ago
Yeah it is a tough choice and time is running out. Stay silent or rescind the offer
unplugged69 4y ago
Just stay silent, going back to tell her she's not coming is a fucking beta move. Her saying "we'll see" means no and you should treat it as such, go with someone else and withdraw attention. Never communicate to women when they fuck up, just let them know with your actions not your words.
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unplugged69 4y ago
This is why we recommend Models by Mark Manson, there's a lot of useless shit in that book but the most important part is that you need to naturally gravitate towards women who are FUCK YES about you.
a) Because that's a better use of your time
b) Your life will be easier when you're not trying to convince her
c) If she's chasing you then he relationship dynamic is better for both of you
d) If you are getting lukewarm responses from a bitch, withdrawing attention can help as you show you have options and are not sitting around waiting for her.
In this case the solution is clear, you do NOT respond and you soft next her. Just imagine a maybe is a no, because you should NEVER try to convince women to do stuff with you, it will turn them off even more.
Go get another date, and if she does reply that she wants in at the last minute, then don't apologise and just say you already made other plans and that's it.
You don't explain shit to women, it makes you look weak. She already knows you need an answer to arrange shit, you don't need to tell her. She already knows she's treating you like shit by saying maybe, she's either not interested, chasing another chad or testing your frame. Whatever the scenario, there are no good outcomes by providing her more attention and validation.
Instead you withdraw attention and focus it elsewhere, you're not upset because you have lots of options.This is why spinning plates and abundance mentality is SO important. Because once you internalize abundance you know exactly what to do in a situation like this, it becomes second nature.
JBPW 4y ago
Thanks for the info! So in that case you would go against sending a text saying something like "I need to know by X time."?
unplugged69 4y ago
Yeah don't say shit, her maybe is already a no but even if it isn't you don't want to waste your time on someone who's not enthusiastic.
Imagine you have a hot blonde, a cute Latina and a VERY flexible Asian chick all trying to lock you down, and this bitch isn't responding in an exciting way. What do you do?
Simple, you withdraw attention and go out with one of your other plates. If you don't have other plates go game other women, you can go with a male friend to the venue and go game other chicks.
If you respond now you seem desperate and you will lose her. You may lose her anyway Even if you withdraw attention, but you won't gain shit by chasing her.
Does that make sense?
JBPW 4y ago
Yes, all very clear. When you say "testing frame", could that mean she is expecting me to react in a certain way? Perhaps keep chasing / fishing for if she will attend, if I do the opposite then the frame is held?
unplugged69 4y ago
It's very possible, they all do it but subconsciously, they're not really aware they are doing it and it can come in many forms. In this case, whatever her reasoning, withdrawing attention is the best action with the highest likelihood of success with the added bonus of wasting less of your time so it's a no brainer.
As a rule of thumb, it's not always doing the opposite of what she says, it's just doing what you want and ignoring the shit that she says. However when she's not excited and trying to get you to chase, you shouldn't do it under any circumstances as it makes you look thirsty and will only hurt your chances, act aloof, like you have lots of offers all the time and you don't care if some girl flakes but that she's dropped down in ranking.
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unplugged69 4y ago
If she's a maybe trying to convince her and acting needy is going to turn her off more. Of course some time investment is necessary at first until you get her hooked but if you overdo it then you provide free attention and validation making it harder.
a) groups of friends, having a big social circle is the best way because you have automatic social proof.
b) pick up some new hobbies, you'll either meet new women or make friends who know some fuckable women
c) while you are out doing your normal shit during the day, approach any woman you are interested in. You will get a lot of nos but you only need a few yes.
d) go out and practice night game, it's different and more dynamic than day game but you need to learn it. Go to bars and clubs enough to know the staff and regular players, you will have the social proof you need and dominate the environment
e) finally do a bit of online dating but it should be a small percentage of your time
Eventually you will get 1, 2, 3 plates and it will get easier with abundance, but you need to repeat and keep going so you always have something in your pipeline.
If you get rejected often then work on SMV, however don't get discouraged as even high SMV guys get shot down a lot.
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unplugged69 4y ago
You need to hedge your bets a bit, so you can keep talking to maybe girls but dont compensate for their lack of interest by showing more, try to match her interest level and don't show that you're desperate.
The best way to deal with less enthusiastic girls is to spike or polarize the conversation, be bold because you have nothing to lose. The thing is you need to get them to meet as soon as possible because it's very hard to build attraction online and a lot easier in person.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
That was a no. Fuck with someone else.