Hi. I'll start by giving some context.
I've been dating this plate for about 6 months. She's been my main plate for the past 2 months give or take and we've been seen each other 2 times per week in the last month. She is very submissive in bed and outside bed and she has never told me 'NO'. I'm always the one that chooses where we go and what we do when dating and she always complies. A few times she even made me choose her drink. About a month ago she told me that she was usually dominant in bed but with me she likes to submit.
Last Wednesday she initiates via text and invites me to her home, which was weird not only because it was late but also because she usually only tells me that she wants to see me and I come up with a plan. I know I should've said no, but I wanted to fuck her, so I went and fucked her all night. We got up early because we both had to go to work and she made fun of my morning wood because we didn't have time to fuck and I laugh. Finally, we were having breakfast and talking about some not important topic and out of nowhere she says
HER: "I like that you don't try to dominate me" ME: "What do you mean?" I was thinking "WTF, about a month ago she acknowledged that I was very dominant in bed and she liked it" HER: "You are not always forcing me to do what you want when you want. I hate that kind of people"
Then she starts to talk about another topic. If it was a shit test I definitely failed it. She does this "I like _ of you" often but always with things I consider positive, like "I like how you talk about your job".
So, my questions are: Is this because I went to her house showing to much availability or because I didn't fuck her that morning or because of my behavior in general? She literally lets me make almost every decision. I take into account her likes/interests too but I didn't think was that important.
I might be overthinking this, but I've never expected something like this from this particular plate. I really like how she behaves around me because I don't have to push hard to be in control, she just gives that to me and that doesn't happen with other plates. I would like to maintain this with her and make it happen more often with other plates, so I want to understand what's going on.
YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
When you lead, women who are into you follow. If you're doing it right, they'll even think it was their idea in the first place. You're doing the majority of the things right, keep smashing and if you want to go to her place and smash, do it. Let her say whatever she wants and believe whatever she wants until it doesn't suit your needs.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
First off she's not a plate if you're dating and spending the night. That's a girlfriend. Second she's telling you what she likes and you're sperging out over it.
Not everything is an assault to your frame. Read that again...Not everything is an assault to your frame.
LudgerKresnik 4y ago
"First off she's not a plate if you're dating and spending the night" wtf i think i'm doing it wrong then cuz everytime i smash we spend night and move next morning? so to be called a plate i should not sleep with her after i fucked her?
drink > fuck > sleep > wake up > fuck again > move that's my rotation tho.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
Yeah you're doing boyfriend shit. It's sending her the message that she's more than just a casual fuck.
unplugged69 4y ago
That was definitely a shit test so as long as you react or bring it up again you're fine. Failing some shit tests is not the end if the world as long as you don't dwell on it.
However, don't let women tell you how to be. For example in this case if you want to dominate her in bed, then do it. It doesn't matter what she said the other day, women say all sorts of shit they don't mean. And they ALL like being submissive sexualky, even the ones that say they are dominant.
Now here's the final and most important tidbit, while she may be a plate (I hope you're spinning more than her) you are in fact treating her like a girlfriend. Taking her out on dates, spending the night, I bet you cuddle and listen to her bullshit like when she vents about her day. You probably text her about shit, share funny memes, etc
Don't do any of that, treat her like a plate, give her fuckboy vibes. Fuck her hard, dominate her and tell her to go. Then don't text her at all until you want to fuck again, invite her straight to your place and fuck.
Take her on dates occasionally, respond to her bullshit uninteresting texts occasionally, and cuddle occasionally. However don't do that shit often enough to give her beta male vibes, otherwise the frequency of sex will decrease, she will become more bitchy and bratty, and she will go seek out alpha dick.
pfeilmacher 4y ago
Stop needing her validation. Who gives a fuck what she thinks she thinks.
RedChurchill 4y ago
Yes - you overthinking and caution.....she doesn't think that she is "only a plate"
Intrepid_Place53900 1 4y ago
I think you are overthinking this.
she likes some domination, but she doesn't want you being a dominant prick. Get it? She likes the balance, you are dominant enough.
She liked that even though you had morning wood, you didn't have to finish it. That's an abundance frame.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
That's the beta side of hypergamy. Women initiate the beta stuff like cuddling. It's usually during week 2-3 of their ovulatory shift. They prioritize alpha fucks but next in line is beta bux. You just have to align your alpha with their 1st week after menstruating and your beta with the next 2 weeks.
jackblack 4y ago
Thank you all for the comments. They were very helpful.