One of my hot plates has told me a couple lies about who she's with and what she's doing. I didn't ask her, she just offered it: "I'm with family", "I spent the night with my bff because she's sad".
Do you even bring it up? Do you normally next her? I can handle her getting other dick, but the lies really bother me.
unplugged69 2y ago
Never confront women with their lies and inconsistencies, because what can you get out of it? Let's go through each scenario:
a) She will feel attacked and you will be that asshole controlling guy she will tell everyone about. b) She will agree and apologise but words are meaningless anyway, only actions matter and she will continue to lie c) She will double down and gaslight you and say you are paranoid and making shit up, this is their most preferred defense tactic because lying is second nature to a woman.
What do you get out of it? Let's check the options shall we?:
a) You get to break frame b) You ask and maybe receive validation that what you said is true and she is indeed lying c) You get her guard up so she's better at hiding her lies
Basically you get noting out of it, so never tell women SHIT. You just make decisions based on what actions she's taking, you don't tell her why, you don't explain your decisions, etc. If you do any of that it makes you look weak, damage your frame, and break the plate.
Now whether you next her or not is your choice, in my opinion women lie all the time, it's second nature to them so I don't really hold it against them. However if she's lying to you like this, she's trying to make herself a good girl, be prepared for the "where are we" talk very soon. Personally I would keep plating her, but never let her rise above plate rank. When she brings up the "where is this going" talk, I wouldn't tell her why she's never rising above plate rank. I would just deflect and say vague shit like "we're still getting to know eachother" or "I'm not looking to jump into a relationship so soon but I am open to one with the right person", etc.
Some people would say, why not just be honest and say you don't LTR a lying whore? Well it's really simple, that's OVERT communication and women respond better to covert communication. And if you feel bad, just remember the times you've seen or have BEEN the billy beta that women string along for 50 dates and never put out, or worse just be a shitty orbiter who does stuff for her but you never get anything back.
They KNOW the rules of the game, they basically invented the game and play it instinctively, it's men that have to be taught. Being honest and direct is something only men appreciate, so be like that with men but not with women.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
This, good stuff.
This is vetting. Observe, listen, let them think you don't know. Let them step in shit. This will tell you if they respect you,etc.
Now, as they are doing this, if they are stepping in "shit". You do what makes sense. You demote them, you remove interest and attention as necessary.
Great way to vet. Now, remember, at the same time you have to state your (expectations) from her. But, not at the moment you caught her at something. Just bring up whenever it makes sense.
I don't tolerate lies I don't tolerate disrespectful behavior and so on, your list, not mine.
And remind her of it from time to time. That way there's no (I didn't know, confusion). You communicated it clearly, she is not following and you take corrective action that you deem fit.
LudgerKresnik 2y ago
"however if she's lying to you like this, she's trying to make herself a good girl, be prepared for the "where are we" talk very soon"
i had 4 previous plate year ago who's consistently lying where they are, who's with them or what are they currently doing. which is i always ignored even i knew it's a lie. and those 4 plates never open the talk they just branch to a better SMV and forget that i'm exist ofcourse after few months 2 of them hit me again. so i don't know now if the way i ignored the lie of this hoe is a good thing for the future plate or i will just continue act like a fool when they spitting lie.
unplugged69 2y ago
Interesting, well there are two options:
a) They don't see you as their best option right now so they don't try to lock you down
b) You give 100% fuckboy vibes in which case they know they have no chance to lock you down so they don't even attempt it.
Either way who the fuck cares since you are smashing, but if you want them to invest more try to provide a bit more comfort with your behaviour, it's easy to overcorrect so don't overdo it but even 1% beta and 99% alpha will keep them chasing longer. Ultimately women want the elusive Alpha bux, there is a middle ground where you can make yourself seem like the unicorn she's always been looking for, which of course doesn't exist, just like the unicorn you are looking for who also doesn't exist. I guess dating is ultimately a game of illusion and keeping it up can make the game longer and more fun for both parties.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
Excellent points. I had thought this sexy girl was potentially LTR material, but a plate she will stay. NGL, I'm a bit disappointed.
Thank you, brother.
unplugged69 2y ago
Yeah I know how you feel man, most women are not LTR material these days, that's the sad truth. That's why the advice is to spin plates and never look to LTR anyone but be OPEN to it when the right one comes along. Obviously you should always keep an eye out for red flags which you are clearly doing, so great job there.
Generally speaking you shouldn't even think about an LTR before she starts doing non-sexual favours and gets promoted to Friend with benefits, the non-sexual favours is the really big one, needless to say the sex has to be very good as well but the non-sexual favours shows commitment and investment on her part which shows she wants an LTR and is putting in the work.
The thing is you can get the same benefits as you get with a girlfriend with a friends with benefits, except exclusivity which hurts you anyway since it removes abundance and now you're making decisions from a scarcity mindset which will turn her off.
If you really want an LTR to last a long time your best bet is to find a Bi girl and have an Open LTR where you can both see other girls ONLY, that way she has some competition to deal with and she has motivation to drain your balls constantly and in my personally opinion I don't mind if she licks some pussy as long as I can come over and fuck them both, but obviously that's down to your preference.
If you go full monogamy she has zero motivation to keep you happy since you are now sitting around at home instead of going out and gaming chicks. Whereas she needs NO game at all, things just happen to her. The next time she goes out for drinks with friends chad comes and offers her a glass of tap water and she ends up getting raw dogged in the bathroom stalls, it just happened you see, she even told him she had a boyfriend but he STILL fucked her, what an asshole chad is, she's going to call him next week but he gave her a fake number lol.
This brings me to my last point, some people say you should only go for 8s, 9s and 10s for LTR especially if they were bitchy and hard to approach. This is because you want her to be hard to approach, you see mate guarding is weak but the best LTRs mate guard themselves. If a girl is truly LTR material, you go to a bar together and some chad tries to AMOG you, she will tell him to fuck off and you just sit back and smile, that's how you know you've got a good one. Now any girl has the capacity to do that, I've just seen 8s, 9s and 10s do it more often, probably because their SVM is higher and they reject more often so they're constantly in "rejection" mode.
Good luck out there brother!
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
More good stuff here.
(you never think about an LTR before she starts doing non-sexual favors), Yes, THIS!
She has to show you that you are a priority in her life. Why the hell would you even think about LTR'ing with a girl without that, right?
LTR's can last, agree it's very difficult and it takes 2 to tango. For LTR's it's all about RMV.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
She told me she was in a hot tub last night, but I know what she was really doing. I think I'm going to tell her that a hot tub sounds great and that I'll be hopping in mine tonight.
Good or bad idea?
unplugged69 2y ago
Well since she's just a plate it doesn't really matter, don't overthink it. Personally I would use that as a Segway to sexualize the conversation.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
With her there is no segue needed. She's hyper-sexual and a 9. Definitely my top girl at the moment.
unplugged69 2y ago
Nice man, enjoy and good luck!
pfeilmacher 2y ago
Thanks, bro.
KirthWGersen 2y ago
She's a plate, so what does a little white lie matter?
Sometimes it is kinder not to know the whole truth.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
She checks a lot of boxes for me, therefore she was on the LTR path. But no more.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
right, she's hot, you enjoy her, have fun. Just remember she's a plate. Nothing more.
ScubaSteve9000 2y ago
She gone, Hoooo she's gonnnnne!
pfeilmacher 2y ago
She's still a 9, so I will continue to smash. I'll have to continue vetting her.
Musicgoon425 2y ago
Continue to fuck her, but don't ever promote her past a plate. That's the only position she has earned.
pfeilmacher 2y ago
Damn. So many plates I have right now. Lol
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
you'll find that plates are easy. Finding a girl worth being a LTR is hard. Staying in a LTR is even harder.
But, it's what you want out of life that matters. Your goals, what you want things to be in 5 or 10 years. Keep the focus on that. Girls will come an go. If you find one actually worth an LTR. Do what you want. You can gain a lot of insight in LTRS. But, Only after 6 months of vetting and you continue vetting , it never stops.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Only betas resort to explicit language. Alphas just "get it" and act appropriately. You gotta get her hamster spinning thinking about you while she's with him. Pull her hair and put your fist in her ass. Something like that.