37M seeing a girl (28F) who’s sort of… confusing. For some context, I’m financially very well off as a result of selling a successful business and now do biz consulting work. I do have a desire to start a family, esp. now I’m nearing 40. She’s clever, well educated, has a nice job as a physical therapist for the disabled and is very passionate about it. Very frugal and still using an ancient iPhone, hasn’t got Instagram or TikTok, drives an old beat up car, but recently bought a house on her own. Goes rock climbing and reads a lot of books in her sore time. We went to the same private school as teens but too many years apart so I never knew her then - so she comes from money. I’m used to mostly dating socialites and aspiring IG model types who like mostly my bulging wallet. I find these types insufferable though. Can’t have a conversation with them and I hate talking about dumb trivial bs or gossip about their social circle. At this stage I’m looking for a catch or reg flags, it’s been 2 months and nothing so far. We were at the mall yesterday getting grocery stuff, asks if she can get a swimsuit while we’re here for the pool tomorrow. I agree and think here we go, she’s going to ask for some expensive clothes. But instead we end up in a store full of high school and early college girls on her volition and she buys herself a $15 bikini. It was almost comical being there with her among all the teens and their moms. I can’t really fault her though because she looked good, but she is good looking with a face and body you could dress in a hessian sack and would still be very attractive. I don’t know know what to do with this girl - she’s so low maintenance, but she could get away with being high maintenance and having men simp over her - somewhat concerned that she’s maybe too independent and self-sufficient that she’ll do a 180 and leave suddenly if she gets some benevolent job offer helping the poor and sick in some dusty country. I’m leaning toward LTR at this stage. Anyone had much experience with these types of woman (yes I know all women are the same, but I’ve not seen any typical shit testing, money chasing, or branch swinging behaviours yet).
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whytehorse2021 4y ago
My wife was the same age and disposition when I wifed her up but we had a several years of screening each other before that. After 17 years of marriage I have yet to find any red flags. You need to be screening her for a wife/mother of your kids. Take it seriously. Dig deep and hard. Does she want to be a wife? Have kids? Are you moving in that direction?
Musicgoon425 4y ago
Keep looking for a problem and you'll eventually find it. You're going to drive yourself crazy looking for problems instead of enjoying time with this chick.
Enjoy the ride and just be ready to walk away at any moment if shit goes sideways.
unplugged69 4y ago
+1
OP, you need to stop thinking like you have a ticking clock. Men can have kids at 90, if you haven't found the right woman then don't rush. You need to vet for 1-2 years before LTR and much longer if you're going to make her the mother of your children. Also remember she's approaching the wall....
MonkMode 4y ago
This.
OP, be patient. Don't commit to monogomy. She may think you are spinning plates and I hope you are. Significant issues generally surface at the 2 year mark on average.
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MonkMode 4y ago
Let me rephrase, the two year mark is when all the issues have built up enough and both parties lose patience with one another. It was a statistic from some book. It's fairly accurate from the relationships I've seen and been in.
unplugged69 4y ago
Ah nice i didn't realise it was some book, but yeah I've personally observed the same thing.
IMO 6 months is when you start seeing some issues, then 2 years and other major milestones are the "what are we" talk which can turn get sour and also the "let's move in together" talk.
I've notice every time I give them more commitment like LTR or moving in, they get more bratty. That's why I now refuse to move in and I'm very reluctant with agreeing to LTR.
I think this might be related to providing too much comfort and not enough dread. I mean if you were truly alpha would you really stick with her for 2 years? That's how bitches think subconsciously.
But your right patience plays a role too, that's when she's no longer as patient and starts to slip up. You'll see her when she's no longer on her best behaviour.
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