Guys interested how others feel. Personally I've had success spinning plates in the past but have lapsed back a few times and find myself getting into LTRs. (I know I probably need to stop beating myself up about this). I have a feeling it's due to lonelyness or this missing gap of emotional connection.
Thoughts on how to negotiate all this? BC obviously I know logically LTRs don't work and I'll usually end up getting bored or hurt, however, I still seem drawn to them.
I personally reckon that being a man who manages to never marry and have children is stronger than those who do the opposite.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
LTR's can and do work, but the longer the term, the more difficult and they younger you are the more difficult.
LTR's as many have said on here, take a fine line of alpha/beta to keep your woman. she's also part of the equation and vetting prior to moving into a LTR is incredibly important. This can NOT be done in 3 or 6 months. This is like 1+ year of spending time with her and seeing how she is when life hits the fan.
You think never marrying or having kids means you a stronger than a guy who had kids. Nothing is harder than having a LTR/marriage and raising kids, especially raising kids in a healthy environment and teaching them, all the while making sure you stay a HVM, Lift, career,etc. Nothing. Are you up for it?
I'm not saying that should be your goal. For many it should not be. Unless you really want kids and a family. Again, it's the biggest commitment you will make in your life. Is that what you want ? You need to know that and for many it's not. They want freedom, live life their way. With kids, that's not really possible.
A LTR/wife, no kids, you have a lot more freedom, but again, you have to always be on your game with a LTR, else risk the relationship. Some don't want to bother, that's ok.
My view, is have fun when you are younger, learn from plates, short term LTR's.etc.
As you get older, your life views change. Yes, guys change their minds about family when in late 30's ,early 40's. They get tired of plates and minimal relationships, they often want more. You need to adjust. Your life goals in 20's, may be very different in your 40's. Be flexible. But, take your time figuring it out.
STAYShredded 2y ago
Thanks man this is good shit... I'm only 20 yo so have so much time. Recently landed my dream job and making over 6 figures so I think perhaps I'm looking for a new challenge... I also know logically I am wayyyy to young to consider family even tho I am financially in a position to.
Intrepid_Place53900 2y ago
20? Listen, you sound like me at that age. Take your time with the relationships. Go out and have fun with women. Find out what you like, what you don't like. You'll make some mistakes, learn from it, that's what it's all about.
IF you find a girl you want to LTR, VET, VET,VET and them some. I failed this at your age. Don't feel bad about moving on, don't accept red flags. There's more girls, better girls out there, take your time until you find one that is acceptable.
And wear a condom,always. Make sure it goes in the toilet also. I had girls try to manufacture "mistakes" with me. It's real, don't let it happen.
[deleted] 2y ago
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whytehorse2021 2y ago
LTRs are easy peasy with a good woman. Plates are a pain in the ass. I do both but most of my plates are prostitutes or one night stands.
STAYShredded 2y ago
If they r are prostitute or a ONS then they arnt a plate my guy smh
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Same same, but different.
placer 2y ago
There is nothing wrong with a long term relationship (LTR), if that’s what you want. In the context of a LTR, spinning plates is simply letting your LTR know you have other options.
There are advantages to a LTR: You don’t worry about whether you will get the bang or not; a good LTR knows to always put out when you feel like having sex. A good LTR will be on birth control and be tested clean from STDs. Bareback sex is a lot better than sex with a condom, but that’s only safe when one is inside a LTR.