To give some context I've been in a ltr for 8 months. Textbook dominate and submissive relationship, I'm the masculine leader and she's the feminine one who follows my lead. This dynamic applies in the bedroom and outside of it.

Sex has been fairly consistent but needed just a little more "spontaneous". One day we were talking and I teased her by saying I'm going to spank her with a ruler next time I see her. She didnt believe me and tried to play it off as a bluff.

Next time I see her and we initiate sex, I pull out the ruler and she awkwardly laughs but still gets in position to be spanked. She was still acting aloof and uninterested during sex which was rare so I immediately stopped and told her that she killed my mood. I actually got annoyed and looked angry, I told her my time was valuable and if she was going to be like a limp fish then I'm not interested. Her demeanor changed and she stopped acting bratty, she was now looking at the floor and trying to make excuses.

After a few minutes of silence, I told her she needs to prove she's worthy of being spanked and dominated, shortly after she gave me one of the best blowjobs I've gotten from her followed by a second spanking session except this time she was moaning and being submissive.

I got what I wanted in the end but I still feel like I could have handled the shit test in a better way? Any pointers? I'm still a young guy trying to learn.