I’ve been in this relationship for about 1 year. Im well aware of most things redpill and as a relationship is hard mode i boiled it down to just being outcome independent and not jealous mostly, and lifting as i cant be perfect all the time. However my GF recently expressed its oretty much the end of the “honeymoon” phase and said words to the effect that her attraction is decreasing compared to at first. Now to me thats just obvious shit but i suppose women are deluded that they can feel like the first month forever. Anyways, im pretty level as a guy, with slight reduction. I vetted well. Shes a good loyal GF, etc.
Is there really anything i can even do beyond carrying on as is, and if it ends it ends and just making her aware it can? I pretty much said that to her in response, that this is just reality, good thing we dont live together, and took it in stride because being redpilled its not exactly a shocker knowing womens nature. It does sting a little i must admit.
I know k can never have her as she was at first and i have to find a new one for that experience. But im wondering if this is early for this? Maybe i fucked up. Maybe if this doesnt work and i dont care to continue i can avoid it next time?
We see each other strictly on weekends only. This is 90% of weekends. We almost always do something fun and almost never spend it at home “chilling”. Even If its just going to the city for food. We have sex 2-3 times a week still. Sometimes i cba to have sex and we wont. Shes receptive anyway.
I think the ONLY thing that may be amiss is some dread. Although i never act jealous or needy and always have a foot in the door, workout and dress well, i admit i don’t exactly hang around other women at all or go clubbing with friends etc. To me thats so inappropriate no matter how dread inducing it may be as it leads by example and teaches its ok. I also moved to this country and am learning language full time, and she helped me out with complex government stuff a lot till now, and i havent got my driving license till just now leaving her driving.
My question here, is if that is actually enough to have fucked up alone? I admit i relied on her a little while i was a fresh off the boat and didnt even know what good foot was let alone how to book a restaurant in a language i didnt speak till now but do you think this may have a detrimental on attraction?
I just feel like dreading to he extremely while it works just doesn’t create a real LTR. Hanging with other women and going clubbing with my pals, and creating arguments for no reason may be good for attraction for her but for me it’s annoying and and just opens the door for her to think its ok to do that too anyway. No thanks.
Is this just the reality i face with a LTR? Its very hard to stop “the routine” even though we try do shit every weekend obviously some aspects will always be the same. I’d love to hear any opinions or experiences. Im completely willing to hear that despite what i may find reasonable or easy for a relationship it may just be wrong, and inspiring drama and shit may just be right all along.
Thanks.
Musicgoon425 5y ago
Good dread is covert not overt. For example: I'm in a great LTR. But dread is absolutely necessary. How do I dread?
A. I go to the gym and lift heavy. She notices my gains, and other women do as well. B. I improve my life. If I'm not spending time with her I'm improving myself or out having a great time. I don't need her around to have a good time. I want to share that with her. C. I fuck her good. I make other guys look like dogshit in bed. I get her off because I get into her mind. D. I keep it exciting. If she's not around, she's probably missing something exciting I went to do.
These are all dread without being blatant. Women talk to me because I'm likeable. That's it.
unplugged69 5y ago
Not sure you've read enough about the dread game if you think it means starting arguments. Look up 12 stages of dread and strive to maintain level 8 as a minimum at all times. You shouldn't tell her that you're willing to walk away, who you are as a person should exert that.
Do you lift? dress well? constantly improving and learning new things? Have your own shit going on and your life doesn't revolve around your GF? Talking and approaching women in public? Then she will instinctively know you have options.
Honeymoon period lasts 1-2 years depending on how you manage the relationship, but it's strange for a bitch to state it. Normally women communicate covertly so for example she would be less enthusiastic, more cold, less sexual, less available over time.
Your best bet is to withdraw attention slowly, make it look like you are slipping away. Work on yourself, talk to women to improve your social and pickup skills (you can do this without cheating), become more independent and lead, relying on a woman for shit kills her attraction to you.
Finally you should think about this, do you really want to be in an LTR with a woman who isn't FUCK YES about you? Once you've tried all of the above ask yourself the question and you'll have your answer
Drainstink 5y ago
I agree with almost everything but personally i think its kind of like “theory” only. RP and all of this although im quite familiar with, from my experiences i do not think it works in relationships. Its not really possible. Much if it can help a ton but following it exactly is not possible in a normal relationship. For example living with a woman? Fucking lol. That makes RP 50% less effective straight away no matter what you do. Same goes for the Redpill idea of every woman being “fuck yes” about you. Easy in a non relationship or very new one. In a LTR? I dont care how well you do it their enthusiasm will die down over time just like yours. If kids are involved? Cant imagine it. How can it possibly be the same. What im saying is its a compromise to have a good LTR and a redpill life. Its built for plates imo, so you kind of have to decide what level of compromise you are happy with vs plates to have a LTR and if its worth it.
For example, try red-pilling your way through being a fresh of the boatie in a foreign culture not speaking the language. Initially took the approach there is really nothing i can do and have to begrudgingly accept help here and there while i put full effort into learning to handle things but it still had a large effect on the relationship.
STAYShredded 5y ago
Don't think you did anything wrong dude, obviously a little dread never hurts but tbh the fact u dress well and workout is probably enough... If you got her i'm sure she realizes u could easily get another girl.
The only thing I would say stands out is that she has helped u alot with different things (U couldn't change this due to situation) however its important to remember that attraction will probably be lost if she feels like she has to mother and take care of you... even if it was in the past.
As I said u did nothing wrong, just the nature of LTRs and why redpillers dislike them.
whytehorse2021 5y ago
When women use explicit language it's because they think you're a beta. Most guys relax their alpha side in an LTR. So here's what I did when that happened: I took the reigns of the relationship and made it how I wanted. I told my wife to lose weight and get a job. Women think of this as "taking charge". I upped my sex game to include hair pulling, anal, and hard pounding. Women think this is "passionate" sex. Suddenly the honeymoon phase is back on. You should also tell her you want to go with non-exclusive sex and an exclusive relationship. That way she can't use sex to control you and she has to perform or you can go elsewhere.
Drainstink 5y ago
Yeah she can be explicit some times but i always thought it was just her style of shit testing and also voicing concerns. She’s very straight talking, but a passive aggressive type women, well not as much as they are on average. When she said that in OP she was actually worried and saying stuff like “will i always feel like this? Whats going on with me?” “What can we do to stop it?”. Shes the most loyal woman i’ve ever been with so i kinda put it down to that too.
Anyway, i put it down to the fact that i moved to this country, not knowing the language or customs at all and it being very difficult to get a foothold and survive let alone organise a relationship day to day details in. I have spent almost a year learning the language now full time and trying to improve and i only just feel like i can get by now, with effort. Personally i think accepting her help at first had a negative effect but what could i do really? From here i can gradually start expressing full control over my life and desires etc. Probably this is the biggest issue. We do fun things every week, have plenty of sex, which ranges from great to sometimes average if i just don’t particularly want to have sex that day much.