Yo dudes, I need advice. I asked to meet up with this girl as friends cause we had some common interests and she agrees. I call her the other day to ask her to hang out and she says immediately says she wants to break up with her BF before agreeing to go to dinner and drinks with me. She literally said something along the lines of 'the break up is a long time coming, I never see him, etc" I take her back to my place and try to escalate all night without being too pushy. I'm not getting a strong indicator or how she's feeling so I play it easy. I put her legs on my lap, or my arm around her and she was cool with it. I did get some static at some points but I never was grab-y. We dance around, talk, and flirt.
She ends up leaving a little later and texts me when she gets home etc. Today she sends this huge text saying she's mad: "you stepped on her bf's toes." She continues "I let it fly because I did say I wanted to break up with him, but I'm still very in love and I think you tried to trick me. I thought we were meeting under different contexts.
I just found it super weird that she tells me she wants to break up with him, then agrees to go out for dinner/drinks. I did kind of agree to see her as friends, but the whole, I want to break up, let's go out, just threw me for a loop. So I don't even know what to say to this girl. I think she was looking for a beta to to cry to and was pissed when I didn't end up playing her attention games and instead went to escalate. Any ideas?
BootySpillingOut 5y ago
You gotta bolt from this. I know guys here say to go keep escalating with girls in a relationship if they're responding positively, because lord knows they will cheat, but it's imprudent and a shit idea for this exact reason.
When girls feel guilty about getting with you is when they start throwing around false accusations. Get with girls who have no moral qualms or apprehensions about getting with you. If she has a boyfriend, if she's religious, if she's ashamed of being a slut, all out. They also won't be as present in the moment and are less fun to be around.
ScubaSteve9000 5y ago
DO NOT DELETE THE TEXTS. SAVE AND SCREENSHOTS ALL THE TEXTS EXCHANGE. This bitch is not stable bro. You don't want to get a false rape charge on yo ass. DO NOT CONTACT THIS WOMAN EVER AGAIN YOU HEAR ME.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
She sounds like a massive headache. Hard next.
pfeilmacher 5y ago
Nutz.
Hanscheezburger 5y ago
I've had flings with girls who had bfs before. Was in a relationship with one about 10 years back. She dumped me after 1 year when she went to study abroad.
You don't have to avoid them. Just keep in mind they aren't keepers.
Never had one text me like your case. Definitely weird. It sounds like she wanted some kind of evidence (text message in this case) that it was not her fault and you were the one who tried to advance and she was perhaps naive, but "innocent".
I would text back something like "I don't remember anything happened. I won't meet you again then". Ignore her from then on. If she wants to have sex you'd know about it, but be extra careful
Mma67 5y ago
It’s just going to end up bad with this one. Her bf is probably fed up already, which is why she’s considering a breakup, although I suspect her bf wants a breakup more than her. She might be codependent which is why she’s ready to jump ship but only if she has someone to catch her.
In the meantime, just text her in an honest way and let her know you were just being receptive to her needs, she miscommunicated her intentions and it led you to believe she was planning to move on. Give her a soft friendly next. If you can do it over the phone that would be great, but text might be better. Choose your words wisely, keep it soft and make it look like the door is still open if she’s interested. After that, the ball is in her court and if she reaches out to see you again make her work for it a bit. Make yourself unavailable if she reaches out to you and wants to hang out, or tell her a different date or time to meet up. Maintain control but let her hold the ball.
And if she’s still teetering on her bfs dick and is trying to see you, just simply say no, and then let her know that you don’t want to step on anybodies toes.
Reesescups 5y ago
Thanks for the response. Like you said, I'm trying to leave the door open for sex.
I texted her basically giving her a soft friendly next saying I thought by saying it was basically over she was looking for something else. I said I hope things work out at the end.
She goes "No, I'm crazy about him. I was overlooking that you wouldn't have context and thinking we were just friends. Thanks for being mature about it"
I was tempted to troll a little, because this girl clearly is kind of insane and lacks boundaries. And the fact that she reiterated that she wanted to be friends kind of kills it a little for me. It really feels like she's looking for a beta orbiter. "Someone who I can talk to when I'm feeling down." Lmao get the fuck otta here.
What do you think I should say to leave it open?
Mma67 5y ago
I’m always getting tangled in relationships and I don’t always get to have just a fuck buddy, so my advice might steer you toward a relationship, or simply steer you toward lying to her and expressing interest in a relationship with her, for the sole purpose of fucking her.
If you’re okay with being a home wrecker and using false pretenses to trick her into fucking you, then I would say something along the lines of, “I like you as a friend too, but I think I’ll have a hard time being just friends.” And/or, “if you and your boyfriend don’t work out and you need a friend, I’d be happy to spend more time with you.” Don’t explicitly say you want a relationship, just imply it, if you’re lucky you will plant the seed in her brain and when she goes to sleep at night she’ll be thinking of what a relationship with you would be like. If you can’t get into her head like that, I highly doubt anything will ever become of this.
I’m getting the vibe that’s she’s a bitch and as soon as someone expresses interest in fucking her, she dismisses them… I’ve met some chicks like that. I think that it’s instinct, I’ve seen dogs and cats do the same thing… they show interest and as soon as the male reciprocates, they turn around and smack/bite them. Meanwhile you just sit there all pumped up thinking you were about to get lucky, but you’re just stuck in another senseless game that women play. If she got prego by the guy she’s with, she would probably continue doing this with you and use you for some sort of support, or even worse, make you the “uncle” of her child.
I would really plan to move on but definitely leave on good terms if you can. As long as it’s on good terms you can still contact her out of the blue just to “check-in”, and you might catch her when Taurus aligned with asparagus, Venus is overshadowing Mars, stargate SG1 is open and her horoscope that day says, “someone will reappear in your life, this is an opportunity for fiery romance…”
whytehorse2021 5y ago
Maybe she has autism. Me too. We tend to take things literally and don't "read between the lines" without proper training(we're naive). Either way it's definitely a communication issue. And yes you're right, she was trying to monkey branch. And yes she's right you screwed up her plans to have you as a slave and him as a back up slave. I would call her out for leading you on. She's out meeting other guys, going to their houses, flirting... wtf did she expect would happen? Either she's incredibly naive or up to no good. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Call her out and then tell her to hit you up when she's ready to act like a grown up.