Went on a couple dates with a girl I've known for a few years. Made out pretty heavily on the last one. She would text me first pretty often and seemed really into me.
Eventually, she goes out of town on vacation for about a week. Doesn't reach out to me once, which was a little weird, but fine since I'd rather not waste my free time texting some girl all day. Once her vacation was over, I asked her out on another date and she tells me she can't make it.
Yesterday she tells me that she liked hanging out with me, but was confused about her feeling for another guy and eventually realized that she has feelings for him and that she doesn't want to "lead me on."
I basically said "no problem, tell him I said hi" and haven't said anything since.
Was this the right move? What did I fuck up in the process for her to stop seeing me for some beta two states over? Was it not texting her enough? I have no fucking clue, just don't want to fuck up like this again in the future.
cheesypongas2pointoh 4y ago
Same thing happened to me 2 days back, something about "family issues" and "not having enough time". All I did was say good luck and bye bye and move on to the next one.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 4y ago
You had a window, you just made out with her, she went away and got dicked by another guy and decided she likes him more than you. It happens. Just next her but don't burn your bridge by being salty, she may come back if things don't work out between her and that guy. Focus elsewhere. This is why abundance is so important.
placer 4y ago
You did nothing wrong. Women’s feelings and actions are random and arbitrary; this is one reason I loathe getting interviewed by a woman, because I know my chances of getting hired will be based on a random woman’s random feelings instead of my skills and talents.
I had a similar situation happen with a girl a very long time ago. We made out very heavily; but she then randomly freaked out and permanently friend zoned me. I’m still her friend decades later; she has become an unhappy cat lady and never married or had kids. I would had married her, but she, based on her random feelings, decided she would be better off single.
Don’t take women’s random actions and feelings seriously. Just become a high value male (lift; self confidence; financial independence; etc.) and move on to the next woman.
RockandRollRicky 4y ago
Are they completely arbitrary, or is there something I could've done better and not fucked up to have lost her interest? Idk
BPasFuck 4y ago
Odds are when she went out of town, she was with that other penis, and got dicked down and decided that was it.
So no, not much to be done. She made that choice. You need to find another chick, or better yet 3 other chicks.
[deleted] 4y ago
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placer 4y ago
Doesn’t matter, except to say she definitely liked how I kissed her.
whytehorse2021 4y ago
She didn't go out of town. She was with another hawt guy. She kept you hanging in case he didn't work out. Seems he's working out so she broke it off. You're basically her backup plan now. I don't care what you said. It doesn't matter.She just wanted to let you know your place and you told her you accept it. Move on, bro. There is no friendship to be had. No reconciliation. No happy ending. She made her choice and now she has to live with it.
RockandRollRicky 4y ago
She was verifiably out of town, but I definitely think you're right on the rest.
You said "you told her you accept it." What else could I have said and not come off as a desperate beta? I thought I was supposed to show girls indifference to this kinda stuff?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
OK so you want to know the lesson to learn from this and I respect that. You should've withdrawn all attention. Attention is like money to women. No sex, no attention. End of story. Move on. She's getting it somewhere else so you're just a loser that she uses for attention and resources.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
She went out and got Dick. Then bailed on you. You handled it correctly. This shit happens. Don't let it derail you.
BabyUareSoSexy 4y ago
The best thing you can do is wish them the best, next them, and focus on other plates. I've had this happen many times when one of my plates got a boyfriend, plate broke, wished her the best and after a few months she was messaging me again. You handled it great.
Exactly the same thing happened to me, 3 weeks ago, actually. Plate went on a vacation, and when she got back, hit me with the "Let's just be friends" speech. Wished her the best, told her I'm not interested in that, and haven't spoken with her in 3 weeks now. Maybe she met someone else, maybe she lost interest, could be a million reasons. Point is, always be outcome independent. Show her you're fine without her, and she might come back, who cares anyway? Just focus on yourself.
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 4y ago
You should have waited until she reached out to you. Those who have high attraction and interest in you will reach out to you and then you set up a Date. Even this small mistake by reaching her out after the vacation makes you seem desperate, stalky and needy. It can also be a test to see whether you will be jealous. There is not much to do other than waiting. Would like to hear an Update about that tbh.
From my experience I can tell that she is just making excuses and want you to know indirectly that you lowered her interest.