I would say I’m a pretty outgoing and confrontational person and I’m not too sure if this stems from nice guy traits but I don’t like being on bad terms with anyone. I’ve noticed that if someone is mad at me because of miscommunication or because of something I’ve done I normally try to clear the air.

So the other day one of my friends was planning a bday event and created a group to discuss logistics. At one point I didn’t check my phone for a few hours and missed out on a vote to change the date. The event planner privately messaged me saying that I needed to reply quick as they were making reservations. I contacted them later on in the night and let him know that I was out and apologized for not replying sooner.

Fast forward the next day another one of our mutual friends wanted to go mini golfing for the day and I could sense the hostility in their tone and I asked if everything was good and teased about not being invited.. Then he blows up on me saying that I’m always busy and don’t reply fast and that it’s a gamble asking me questions because there’s a 50/50 chance that I will reply. I’m assuming the other guy let him know I didn’t reply quick enough to have me booked in to the bday event. So I press the matter further and say that he’s right that I am busy so it doesn’t mean I’m ignoring messages. Then he says how it takes 5minutes to reply blah blah and everyone can reply anytime.

For some background this individual has a habit of being passive aggressive and usually gets irritated by things such as reply times. He even declined my invitation to grab lunch with another one of my friends because that guy apparently made a comment about his car in the past. He also had a situation where he broke up with a girl and when she moved on and started dating someone else he was hurt.

This isn’t to make fun of him but to give some background on his emotional responses. Other then that he’s a pleasant guy to be around.

So my question is how do you deal with passive aggressive and emotional people. I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells. And often times I share friendgroups with these people. Should I ignore their antics. Are they continuing to attack me because I’m engaging with them and entering their frame? I like to confront situations head on and if I have a issue with someone I always let it be known directly. I don’t hold grudges and I don’t have any animosity towards anyone. But it seems like these betas like to take offence to anything or anyone that makes them feel inferior or insecure