Ever since following trp I've got a really high self esteem and as a result I HATE when people are disrespectful. I just ignore and soft next.
But a consequence of doing is that several people have burned bridges with me and I'm about to transfer to a university where I see those people (who were previously my friends) everyday.
Any thoughts on how to handle it?
whytehorse2021 4y ago
Them: "hey douchebag I remember you" You: "I ghosted you for a reason. I don't want to have anything to do with you."
It really is that simple. You can give a reason if you want. I told my sisters they were toxic and I didn't want them in my life. Never heard from them again. Now a narcissist will completely ignore what you said(because they're perfect and you're a loser) and test your boundaries. So set boundaries. "Please stop coming over to my house" "No I don't want to have any contact with you. Please stop calling my phone". Eventually they go away. They will go kicking and screaming but eventually they go. Make sure your woman knows you have enemies at school and to run things by you if people tell her bad stuff about you. Eventually those people will get reputations as troublemakers.
splifferoo 4y ago
Seems a little butthurt tho. I would just pretend nothing wrong happened between us, unless this man did some wild shit like slap my mom or smth. Either way OP seems like he needs a lot of introspection and to forgive and move on. This sounded a lot like me before as well. Chances are, there is more to the story that OP is not ready to tell yet, and that’s fine, but he needs to work that out with himself first.
Rashed_69 4y ago
Nah its more like people not listening to what I ask them to do (I.e group projects etc.) So I just asked someone else and they got really mad when I did that.
Ended up calling me some really fucked up styff and nearly ruining my work reputation as well. I just don't wanna see them again or say hi to them but we all applied to transfer to the same uni before all of this happened.
splifferoo 4y ago
Hmm. Okay, from my experience I would just make it known there’s no hard feelings between us. Don’t go out of your way to be nice or cruel, don’t avert gazes or seem like you’re ducking them either. Just live normally. According to you, it doesn’t seem like you know them too well anymore, right? Just act like it. Shit happens. Whatever.
And why did you go to someone else? What did you ask them to do? We’re you the annoying group project guy? What did they say to ruin your rep?
Knowing that would probably give me some more info to base my advice on.
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whytehorse2021 4y ago
They sound like scumbags. Treat them like scumbags. Don't let them into your home, your life, or around your friends and girlfriends. Warn everyone you know about them too. Be proactive. Tell people "Yeah watch out for that guy, he has an axe to grind with me because he got a bad grade for not doing any work on a group project. He even went around telling everyone I'm and alcoholic, stoner, and got me kicked out of the dorms at my last school". Turnabout is fair play. He already did it to you so do it to him.
YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
Not your problem. You've got better things to do than worry about those who don't deserve your respect.
It's. Just. That. Simple.
askingaquestionn 4y ago
Ah yes, I've been there.
Don't overthink it. If you see them, just smile and say 'Hi'. Then continue doing whatever it was you were doing.
Initial-Glove 4y ago
90 times out of 10 they wont say shit to you.
Speak and move. Don't stop to talk to them. Say hey as you're walking past them. It's not rude, it's direct and to the point. They'll get the hint.
I used to do the shades and headphones thing when I was in school.. Headphones not attached to anything, just a cord..
VUVUzela 4y ago
"Headphones not attached to anything, just a cord."
Very strange to put so much effort in avoiding people. But then again, a woman giving advice on acting like a fearful woman makes sense.
Initial-Glove 4y ago
Can always scroll past and block ma'am.
VUVUzela 4y ago
Sure thing. Ridiculous putting that much effort avoiding people. More like a tip for OP, not for you. Don't think hanging around here will help you with your phone addiction
Initial-Glove 4y ago
Thanks lady