How long do you ignore them for afterwards?
Here's my specific scenario (but please feel free to give general advice outside of my anecdote): Plate gets mad jealous of the fact other women exist. Deletes and blocks me. Cool, whatever. Eventually she comes back and apologises for being a crazy bitch. She says she wants to come see me in the morning. I agree. I wake up early to have time for her, then she texts to cancel after the time she's supposed to have arrived, saying she needs more sleep. Then she follows up with "omg there's a salsa night tonight, we should go." I can't believe the audacity of this girl, reply essentially "seriously? You ask to see me this morning because you felt bad, I wake up early to make time for it, then you bail after you're supposed to be here, and now you're inviting me out tonight even though I work until 9pm?" She replied apologising profusely and I've just left her on read. I'm not going to be the one to make the first contact after this but how long should I let her sweat for to know this is totally unacceptable? I'm aware withdrawal of attention is the best way to teach lessons but for how long?
Cheers lad
BPasFuck 5y ago
Ultimately, you'll need to settle on the right recipe that works best for you, and may also be dependent on the dating culture of your area. Three days? A week? Two weeks? Whatever. I do advise that when and if you're next in contact, you act like it never happened.
If she screws up again, you cut her off again. She's smart. She'll figure it out. If you explain it to her, she will eventually become defensive and disagreeable. If you're training her like a dog, you don't want her to feel like a mutt. She'll buck. Allow a little face saving.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
Sound advice, cheers mate. Good shout on letting it go when we talk again, in the past I have been guilty of holding grudges and letting them get in the way of recovery and moving on, which really just made me look like a salty bitch.
Initial-Glove 5y ago
Block and delete.
She's a waste of time.
askingaquestionn 5y ago
I'm inferring that the meeting place was at yours. And if it was, you should've just moved along with your day and refrain from sending a reactive message. Being reactive makes her feel validated and makes you look butthurt.
A rule of thumb is that having another plate solves most problems. When you shift your attention away from her and towards another plate, sweating about the small stuff like when to reply becomes redunant. She'll double text if she really wants to hang out again.
CAPTAINSKINNYPENIS 5y ago
Yeah I have a problem with needing to explain what's going on too much. Will work on it. Thanks
DullIntroduction 5y ago
If soft nexting doesn't work, hard nexting will.