As far as I understand It is always a back and forth of being in your frame and her frame, but how do I know that I'm in her frame?
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DullIntroduction 4y ago
Frame wars are for spergs.
https://www.trp.red/p/whisper/1654
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 4y ago
So when f.e a girl is shit testing you, she basically (tries) to gain the power of the interaction, unless you reframe it by passing the shit test. Isn't that actually a frame war?
DullIntroduction 4y ago
A frame war implies you're feeling threatened by the interaction, which you should not. Overanalyzing frame as some kind of tug of war is counterproductive.
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 4y ago
I understand, that's why having strong frame is also having the right mental attitude. Anyways, holding frame would be basically just talking about whatever you want and ignoring the attempts of changing the conversation. But what if you find the change of the topic of the other relevant, I mean sometimes you talk and it happens that the topic changes or sometimes you just can't talk about what you want because the other person don't want to talk about it anymore
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Are you influenced by her emotions and actions or is she influenced by your actions?
Simplest way I can break it down:
If you're doing or saying things because you're worried how it'll make her feel or act towards you, you're in hers
Who's reality are you living in? If it's not yours, you're doing it wrong
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 5y ago
I guess I would say my frame is to keep things fun. I'm naturally cocky & funny and a fun guy. SO when I do/act something that makes someone laugh, because my intention is to make that Person laugh, does that mean that they live in my reality then? Do you mean this with the second point?
I think I got it that's why f.e double texting shows that you are influenced by her action/emotion and basically break frame because of that, thanks mate.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 5y ago
when she's in a bad mood, do you get in one? If she's not snapping out of the bad mood, what do you do?
Me, I'll try to snap her out of it. Hit the gym, do something, joke around, slap her ass.
If things are not working and she's not going with it, I remove myself and do my thing, what I want. I don't get pissy about it, I don't want her to bring me down, not my problem.
She will typically come back and sit in my lap or do something for me as a makeup for being in bad mood. I let her process her issues, on her own, they aren't mine. I did try to help, but it's not my problem to "FIX" her.
That's being in YOUR frame.
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 5y ago
I would exactly do the same, thanks I understand it now
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Your frame is your reality...(read: The sum of)
I'll try to elaborate, If you like laughing and making other people laugh, then that's just part of your Frame. The rest is how you carry yourself, act and think the other 99.9% of the time.
That leads into your question about the second part; it is a realization that if you're doing things purely to please others, without regards to yourself, you have no frame.
Example, you really want to go to the Casino and your girl wants to go to the Spa. You choose to yield to her, disregarding your own desires. You wind up watching her get a Pedicure.
For the most part, double texting, walls of text, checking in on, etc, are each signals of needy, validation seeking behavior. It is a clear sign of Scarcity. Yes, you're in another person's frame in those instances.
Here's a link to check out. He's on the LTR side of it, but you get the idea. https://youtu.be/ye6IpQOppNQ
Sir_Chad_Slayathot 5y ago
yeah I definitely understand it now, thanks again will watch the vid
Dddinav 5y ago
So if I’m hesistant to send a flirty text telling her what to because I think it may offend her…am I in her frame?
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Just out of curiosity, why would you be hesitant?
Dddinav 5y ago
Worried it would make her angry and be a turnoff
YourOwnDisaster 4y ago
Ahh, yea you have to flirt my friend. Lead women to where you want them to go.
[deleted] 5y ago
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