Met a girl from bumble. Second date I went back to her place. Making out and feeling each other up on both dates. But she didn’t want sex.
Normal for a girl to wait 3 or 4 dates? Is she just not interested?
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mattyanon Admin 4y ago
3 dates is irritating but normal. You've had 2 days, next should start at your place or hers and stay there. If she's not down for this and insists on another public date it's time to next.
sonice 4y ago
If she really wanted you as a man, you'd have sex immediately.
If you don't mind her wanting you as a bf or husband only, give her time to "cook you". Expect to feel sorry for being so incel.
Dddinav 4y ago
Strong binary thinking. U autistic?
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sonice 4y ago
Better listen to experienced guys, not to your tiny hurt balls.
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Dddinav 4y ago
So 2nd date is no big deal?
Should I still text her normally and set up a 3rd date or should I be silent?
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BWMagus 4y ago
Is all you want sex? Then yeah, third date at worst, if that. Do you want more than sex? Then no, it's a GOOD thing that she doesn't put out to every guy who hangs out with her twice.
Hanscheezburger 4y ago
Agreed. Its not that big of a red flag. If you have fun with her then no reason to next. Do remember to keep your options and avoid oneitis
Doubleaxe90 4y ago
Even if he wanted more than sex from a woman, the fact that she is making him wait more than three dates is a decalaration of her perceived value of him.
"If you want more, you will wait"
If you think like that you are in her frame allready, you are the prize, even if you want more from a woman she will have to prove herself worthy to you in the vetting process over a couple of months.
She plays by your rules, this is TRP, read HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bitches.
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Nath 4y ago
How do you deal with virgins Im in the same boat right now with a girl
BWMagus 4y ago
That's true, but I literally don't understand how that relates to what I said.
Dddinav 4y ago
I actually like her and want more.
I’m just worried what if she doesn’t view me attractive sexualy.
I don’t mind waiting if it means we date and have sex regularly during
Initial-Glove 4y ago
She doesn't want you to think of her as a slut.
She's probably waiting for more of a commitment to make sure you wont ghost her
BWMagus 4y ago
Well, it sucks to say this, but you know what women don't find attractive sexually? You wondering if they find you attractive sexually. She's making out with you on two dates and presumably is down for more; she's finding you attractive. If you think she's maybe on the fence, then the thing to do is push her off said fence into your lawn. Obviously, I'm not saying do anything immoral or illegal here (and don't rely on alcohol), but seduce her. Unless she's physically unwell or on her period, usually, then she DOES want sex...if it's good enough to want. I mean, unless you think she's legitimately stringing you along for money or something; that's your call to make, but if you seem to be hitting it off, just assume she wants sex and is waiting for it to "feel" right, meaning, when she's REALLY horny but also comfortable with you.
So start with her mind; act like you're the most self-confident man on earth, and that you "know" she finds you sexy as hell (fake it, I don't care). Make jokes about how she doesn't like orgasms if she doesn't let you in her bed, or tell her you are looking forward to tasting her. Make her think about you and sex in the same thought as often as possible. Then, when you do have access to her body, take full advantage of whatever she will let you. Touch her, discreetly, in public, or in the car; a kiss, a grab, etc. Kissing only? Kiss her like it's the greatest thing on earth. She only lets you touch here or there? Touch those places like you fully expect to make her orgasm just from that--lick, stroke, suck, over and over. Get closer and closer to her hot spots, then back off, then work your way back just a little bit closer again, etc. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Never break her rules but do everything you can within them, especially anything surprising; most women, if you are already to the "making out" stage, will love it if you push them against a wall somewhere randomly, like on the front porch, and hold them there while you tongue-wrestle them, totally out of the blue...then just stop and continue on inside like nothing happened. Or, when kissing, get on top and hold her hands over her head; make it so she CAN get out, if she really wanted, but let her feel "trapped". She will eventually crack.
Oh, but for god's sake, whatever you do, don't seem needy for sex. Don't ASK her for sex, don't pout when she says no to this or that, never use the phrase "blue balls". Because if she's not a slut putting out all the time, but isn't a virgin who is scared of sex, she's just looking for a guy who is willing to put in the effort; she's not an easy lay and is screening out men who want easy lays. Make her trust you, and make her want you.
Initial-Glove 4y ago
Good god. This is key. Asking for anything, a kiss, a bj, an old fashioned is creepy beyond belief.
BWMagus 4y ago
Well, that's what women say, anyway; ask and it's creepy, DON'T ask and they can call it sexual assault if they feel like it. What a great situation for men.
Initial-Glove 4y ago
I got asked for a kiss and it ruined the night.
Had they found the opportunity when we were standing and the tension was there and the moment... We might have had an awesome week.
And as I told them.. If the women you date are claiming "me too", youre dating the wrong women.
Being asked felt like an obligation.
BabyUareSoSexy 4y ago
I'm going through the same thing. First date we went out for drinks, but logistics were bad. Second date grabbed drinks, went to the movies, she dropped me off home at 11:30 pm. Asked her to come inside, but she had to work the next day, and wake up at 5:30 am (which was true). So 2 dates and no sex.
My rule is. If we didn't have sex on the second date, no way I'm going to take her out for a 3rd date. The third date I'm not taking her out. I'll invite her over to make dinner together or watch a movie, that's it.
In your situation, since the logistics were good, I'd drop her. Seems like she's playing games or wasting your time. She's just a random girl from Bumble.
Doubleaxe90 4y ago
Iron rule of Tomassi #3:
"Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait."
If she makes you wait that much you are not her top option, the attraction is not that high, you don't have game or she is a structured woman. 3th date max, after that you should be out.
Women make rules for betas and break them for alphas.
KirthWGersen 4y ago
How long is too long is different for different guys.
My usual approach is: initial short first meet (touching but no kissing) then second meet (first date) is a meal in my house. If she goes for that, we always have sex then.
If you are making out progressively more and more, I have no problem waiting till the fourth or even fifth date. It's rare, but some girls just need a bit more time and are worth it.
With other women I split after the second date because I can tell we are not a good sexual combination (I feel she is making me wait or has hang-ups about sex).
One recently acquired lover of mine insists on paying far more than her fair share, so I knew she wasn't using me to pay for stuff. She didn't have sex with me till the fifth or sixth date, but I could tell she was going to be wild in bed and it turns out she is. As soon as I told her about my other lovers and that we could just be friends, but that would mean barely ever seeing each other, she practically raped me! However, in every other case I have waited that long, it hasn't been worth it.
Musicgoon425 4y ago
3 dates is the standard. And it sounds like your getting fairly far. I would give it one or maybe two more dates before you next.
carnold03 4y ago
It reads like you should first take more solace in the fact that you're appealing enough to land one girl on bumble, so you should be able to get more. Are you getting more? That's a rhetorical question, no need to answer that. However, fixating on any one female so soon can be disastrous in the long term. So I ask you to consider this question, seeing as there are plenty of fish in the sea, why do you care at this point? Take advantage of the remaining summer sun, plan dates that cost less out of pocket which give you more opportunity to talk to and find out what this girl is after. Also, find other women to date who're actively looking for sex.
In the meantime, consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. If you've already found you'd like to read his book, but find money is an issue for you, you should be able to find copies through free torrent and ebook sites, but I won't say where you should start on that endeavor.
Dddinav 4y ago
I can easily get more and have in the past. It’s getting boring and I genuinely like this girl.
carnold03 4y ago
Then why are you asking such novice questions? If going to her place for heavy petting sessions is getting boring and your options are limited due to kung flu lockdowns, be assertive when you make the next date. Show some initiative and offer other date options that are less boring. If having sex is that important to you then fire up the hookup app, bumble yourself into some other eager slut who knows at the start you're only looking to drop your nut, and get the post nut clarity you need to figure out if you should next her or not.
As far as I can tell with the info you've provided, if she wasn't interested in you, she never would've allowed you into her home and you two wouldn't have had that heavy petting session. If you call to make arrangements for a third date, you'll know that some interest remains should she accept and follow through. However, in the meantime, consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. If you've already found you'd like to read his book, but find money is an issue for you, you should be able to find copies through free torrent and ebook sites, but I won't say where you should start on that endeavor.