So we have been together 3 years. Its great overall. However we live apart and i get the space i need sometimes. Though i would like it on occasion to have no contact for a day at a time but she’ll always text something.
Anyway. In this country, marriage is no risk. Its a paper and divorce rape is impossible. Hooray. However living together i really dont think i can do. I can see the relationship falling apart both due to her being bitchy due to seeing too much, and me losing it and breaking up due to not enough space.
However i will have to leave this country if i dont get married soon. There are other Visa options but nothing super long term. I accept it may well come to leaving. However im willing to compromise on marriage due to its low risks here anyway. What is the best way to proposition this to her? I wanna be honest. Im thinking of just saying that if we live together fully i cant see the relationship lasting and give examples of when we spent too much tome before, the fact her last one ended the same way, and that i NEED personal space or i will probably end up breaking up anyway. I will then say i will rent a cheap room for myself nearby and spend a couple nights a week there.
What do you all think?
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
Likely yes.
Women change when they feel that they have "got you". And it's not pretty.
You have to lay out clear rules on what you want from the start. Having a cheap room for yourself somewhere nearby is very good. You have to be clear on all this with her, she has to agree, and then you NEED TO STICK TO IT.
She'll be super accommodating, then it will be "honey, we don't need to waste money on that other place", and you'll agree, and the trap is sprung.
Marriage /commitment/living together is terrible, but if you must do it then having your own escape place (which she never has the key to!) is a very good way to maintain a little dread and therefore attraction.
Good luck.