5’8” 160 lbs decently lean, not huge but above average physique, lift 5 days a week, Dress above average, got a nice haircut, have 6 figure job, average social skills. Why can’t I get laid at bars? I’ve probably approached 30-40 girls last month and a half and still can’t get laid although there were some positive reactions and a few that may have been close.
Where am I going wrong? Night game is starting to feel like a waste of time, but I honestly can’t think of anything else to try. No girls in social circle, work in male dominated field and OLD was a bust. At this point even if I did get laid at this point, it just feels like I’ll be begging some 6 to fuck me until I settle down. Is there something I’m missing here?
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lmann817 5y ago
Honestly I hate day game. My AA is high enough it’s hard to be spontaneous. Also don’t really know how to pick which women to open, bc it’s hard to stop them when they’re moving and most of them are moving lol.
I’m willing to try again, any advice on how to do it? Especially picking who is open to talking because I’m assuming you can’t just open every girl you see. I see plenty of attractive women but it always seems inappropriate to talk to them especially if they’re moving. Thanks.
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BabyUareSoSexy 5y ago
Have you ever gone out solo with a group of attractive girls? Back in 2019 I went out with one of my plates and 5 of her female friends. It was actually eye-opening how beta/creepy most guys at nightclubs are. We were just dancing, having a good time, and within 30 minutes we were surrounded by groups of beta guys just staring at us. Most of them lifted, dressed well, had decent haircuts, but were not getting any (positive) attention from the girls. Even had 3 guys come up to me, ask me for advice on how to get the girls from my group.
My advice will always be the same. Do your own thing, dance, have fun,... When a girl at a club finds you attractive, 9 out of 10 times she will slowly start dancing close to you. I was out with my best friend and saw 2 girls checking us out. After making some eye contact, I asked my friend if he had noticed it too. He said yes, so we did a little experiment. Every time they would get a bit closer, we would move away. And that's exactly what they did. Until they were dancing 30 cm away from us. Then one of them made eye contact, smiled back to me and that's how it happened.
So, especially at night game, look for indicators of interest. Don't be that weirdo who approaches every girl he sees.
lmann817 5y ago
Problem is, I’m not really good at reading iois, I’ve gotten negative reactions when I thought there were iois and positive reactions randomly. Any advice?
BabyUareSoSexy 5y ago
Well, what do you consider ioi's?
Girls are autistic. They expect you to pick up on their signals, which most of the time aren't clear. Personally, I always try to make eye contact, if she holds it for more than 2-3 seconds and smiles back it means she's open to get approached. Holding eye contact is one of the most confident things you can do. Not only with girls, with everyone. It's easy to spot a beta guy who can't hold eye contact. I look into girls their eyes all the time, if they look away instantly and don't make eye contact again, they're not interested. Some girls are shy, will look away instantly, but then watch again to see if you're still looking.
Also, when you're talking to a girl, watch her body language. Are her feet pointing towards you? Is she standing close to you? Does she smile? Look deep into your eyes? Play with her hair? She's interested. If her body is turned away, barely making eye contact or with her arms closed, she's probably not interested.
Also, what I wrote above. Last weekend I was at a home party, and there was a cute girl who was there with her boyfriend. It was like she was following me around. No matter where I was standing, she'd dance next to me. Didn't bother to make a move, since I didn't want to cause trouble. A couple of drinks later, she was getting tipsy and suddenly started talking to me. "Hey, what's your name? Never seen you around here". Been flirting for 30 minutes and she kept saying weird shit how I was her type and that she'd be down if she was single. My point is. It's easy to spot when a girl is interested at a party. They will make themselves available for you to approach them.
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
What's your BF % ?
Why do you say average?
Ok.... what do you do, what do they do, what usually happens? Tell me how it usually goes.
day game.
Probably. Night game isn't easy: girls have their guard up, standards are high, you have to be crazy socially adept to make it work, and even then it won't work most of the time. Typically you've got to approach low hundreds of girls to get this shit to start working for you, and when you get good you're looking at a closing rate of perhaps 1 in 30. When you're good. The upside is: many of them you can fuck lots of times, so you can easily get to a 1:1 approach to fuck ratio.
lmann817 5y ago
About 15 I’d say, was 11 at lowest but I need more lean body mass so I started bulking. Still have some abdominal definition though.
Wouldn’t really consider it a strength, I used to be pretty awkward although I think I’ve improved. My chad friend says they’re average.
I’d say 1 out of 6 girls on average is interested in having a conversation. I’m not sure if I need to improve how I’m picking who to talk to bc some of those rejections are embarrassing. I try to do a lot of approaches but I wonder if I’m forcing things too much. And by a lot I mean at most 10.
Of the 1/6 that stick around they’ve all been derailed at different points, even though I think a few had potential. At first I wasn’t escalating enough so it would fizzle inevitably. Nowadays I’ll usually get some kind of chance most nights with a girl who shows signs of interest but her group of friends will drag her away, I’ve lost several like that. There was also one other time where the whole group was very interested in talking to me, but I didn’t know how to zone in on one girl and after some time I felt like I was just entertainment for them and ejected.
Sorry that’s a lot, any thoughts?
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
Ok, get a bit slimmer if you can, this will boost your attractiveness faster than gaining more muscles.
Ok. This depends a lot on your looks, her looks, your approach, the situation (bar, club, street), her friends proximity and also on the gender ratio and age group and "atmosphere" in your city.
Not sure. Where/when do you talk to them? Are they alone? At the bar? In a group? Are they having fun? Are you?
Find an easier way to do it. For example...... get near her for some reason..... turn over your shoulder..... lean back slightly...... get eye contact and say hi..... how are you doing? WITH A SMILE. And say it all loud enough for her to DEFINITELY hear.
This is vastly better than walking over and standing in front of her: if it falls flat noone will notice or care.
Right.... you need to transition fairly quickly from chat to touching her.
After she hooks, you need to introduce yourself to the rest of the group so that they all feel that you are "ok". Girls won't let their friends get too engrossed with a stranger.
Whole group interested is great...... as the night goes on, you'll usually find the girls will let one girl end up with you. You can't always control which one though, so it's kinda pot luck. But you really should try and stick this kinda thing out longer.
You don';t want to be their dancing monkey/entertainment: but this is a social skill to learn. How to display value, maintain control, and steer things where YOU want them to go. But that's practice, first you have to stick the situations out long enough to learn from them,
YourOwnDisaster 5y ago
Nothing wrong with a few 6's to bust a slump brotha.