I work at a gym at the front desk to work on my social skills because I was a shy kid growing up and I’m getting better at talking with people and less stuttering and slower talking still happens but I’m getting there. I am friends and well liked by the customers mostly older folks. They even told the management about that they liked me and I always remembered their names. Despite this I feel like everybody besides 4 of my coworkers out of like 25 despises me. Same with my bjj gym I have made 2-5 really good friends some acquaintances and then there are people that I have been nice to that I feel they don’t like me from how they interact with others besides me. My question why do the majority of some of my groups not like me? I am curious what it is about me that people hate I have acne but it’s clearing up thought it was that for a while but now I realize people don’t care and there might another reason.
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[deleted] 5y ago
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bjjneck 5y ago
I agree with Zavss. People project their self hatred onto those who are actively trying to better themselves. This is a reflection of their own shortcomings. Have you ever disliked a friend who did something better than you and you quit while they succeeded. Imagine you do that your whole life, that is those people.
To add, some people won't like you for whatever reason. Be honest with yourself to see if they are jealous or there is something uncalibrated that you are doing. Some people didn't like me at my BJJ gym, I think it was because I was a fast learner and would tap out higher belts. I noticed that most of the stoic men at the gym took a liking to me, that's what lead me to believe it was their own egos not my actions.
Keep improving, betas will always try to bring down an alpha
Nogap5050 5y ago
No doubt experiencing this from some people in my bjj gym as well. Have noticed a change even though I am rolling easier on certain people than usual.
splifferoo 5y ago
I disagree with the other replies. I think it’s one big thing. It could be a petty thing like bad breath or B.O., or they just don’t fuck w u. Or could be major, like behaviour. Just keep improving, eventually you’ll rid your shortcomings and it may be the one that goes away.
coolsocks00 1 5y ago
Another thing people pick up on is when someone is trying too hard to be nice or liked and cares too much. People will respond politely but rarely connect with you. Hard to say.
splifferoo 5y ago
EXACTLY. This is what I felt like it was but I didn’t want to say in case I gave OP the wrong idea and he finds out it was smth else.
Judging on the post, it seems like he really worries about his reception from other people, to the point of counting them and claiming they ‘don’t like him’. There’s no reasons why, and keep in mind these are coworkers, so they probably just don’t care enough about you. Some people will respond positively to over-nicety and some will not, hence the situation with his four cowies.