Went out with a girl two weeks ago, went pretty good. Invited her back to my place, she declined, played it cool, hung out for like 10 mins more and sent her on her way.
This past week, I invited her out but she said she would be busy. Didn’t propose another time, but added on to the conversation by mentioning she thought I was out of town.
Based on that and the first date, she seemed interested but by not proposing another time, I’m not sure if she really is. Curious about how I should go about proposing a date this week - lead and tell her a specific date or test her interest and ask her when she’s free?
Doubleaxe90 2y ago
That's a no until she proves otherwise by initating, go radio silence and focus on other women.
ripjadensmithsson 2y ago
Ok, what would you say for these if she did go back and we had sex and she doesn’t initiate contact (another situation I’m in now)?
And I’m wondering if the dynamics are different here (I’m in a 3rd world country) because a different girl I did fuck on the first date, didn’t initiate contact after like a week, and as soon as I hit her up, she was back at my place the next day.
Doubleaxe90 2y ago
Some women are very passive and expect the man to do all the work in the early stages of dating (common thing in 3rd world country), take the lead and call, set up the next date. The fallout position if she doesn't initiate is: you call once per week to set the date for that week.
carnold03 2y ago
It's likely for the best that you give up on this girl. It doesn't read like she had a particularly strong interest in you. If she did, you inviting her to your place and not returning her to hers after she turned you down killed it.
It might be to your benefit to consider investing in a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, also known as the late Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's well worth the investment as it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. If you've already found you'd like to read his book, but find money is an issue for you, you should be able to find copies through torrent sites, but I won't say where you should start on that endeavor.
ripjadensmithsson 2y ago
So, if they decline the invitation to my place, you should right around send them on their way? How would you go about saying that without seeming butthurt?
Also, thanks for that, yeah I’ll check it out
carnold03 2y ago
Unless the girl asks you several times to take her to your place, don't extend to them such invitations. Most chicks understand a guy inviting them to the guys place means the guy is looking to have sex. Sluts are always hungry for that dopamine hit they can only get from riding a guys sausage. Girls trying to maintain, if only, the illusion of being chaste will not accept such invitations.
The best way to be certain she's interested in you is to meet her at her place, take her to wherever the date is, and take her back home. If a gal doesn't let you pick her up, she won't let you take her home, and with that you'll know for certain that she's not interested in you. With that, I repeat, do yourself a favor, and get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". It doesn't matter if it's a *.pdf download off of a torrent site, ebook pirate site, or a print copy. And don't just read once and forget about it. Study it. It coves the fundamentals to dating you clearly lack. It'll help you develop competence and confidence in engaging the opposite sex far better and faster than a back and forth on sites like this can alone.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
lead and tell her specific date. If she doesn't accept or offer an alternative for this second time, give up and move on.